Falling Dumb Into Desire

Picking my way through the mob of people that had gathered in my family's backyard, I growled lowly as I searched for the nearest cooler that held a cold can of soda. Finally, I spotted a cooler beside the barbeque where my dad was cooking, and made my way toward it. I opened the cooler, and felt my face drop when I saw that the only thing left to drink was those cans of ginger ale.

"What's with the face, Kenny?" My dad asked.

"There's nothing left to drink." I muttered.

"I think all your cousins made off with the soda." He replied.

I growled lowly and then made a move to turn away, but my dad stopped me by putting a hand on my arm.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I'm just annoyed." I sighed. "It's getting hot and I'm stuck listening to all my cousins cry around about different crap I could care less about."

"You're cranky because Madison couldn't make it." My dad grinned.

"No," I said defensively. "Well ... kind of ... " I admitted shyly.

At my words, my dad laughed loudly and then reached into his pocket, pulling out a handful of money. "Here," he said, handing the money over to me, "run to the store and get some more drinks." He looked at me thoughtfully before he added, "take your time."

"Alright." I mumbled before I shoved the money into my pocket and then made my way inside.

After a quick search for my keys, I found them sitting on the kitchen counter, and then continued out the front door to my car. I managed to dart around a game of water tag my younger cousins were playing in the front yard, and made it to my car.

The ride to the store was short, and once I got inside I grabbed a 12-pack of Mountain Dew and a 12-pack of Root Beer, and put them into a cart before I decided to wander up and down the rest of the isles, seeing if there was anything else that caught my eye. Soon, I found myself by the chips, and I browsed through the entire selection, looking for some Doritos. When I found a bag of Nacho Cheese, I tossed it into the cart and then looked up to find John standing just in front of my cart, a small smirk clinging to his lips.

"Madison said she spent the night with you last night." He said as his form of greeting. "She told me with a giddy smile on her face, so you two must have had a good time."

"We didn't have sex if that's what you're thinking." I sighed. "We just ... slept together." I added with a small smile pulling at the corners of my own lips.

John raised an eyebrow at the look on my face. "Clothes on or off?" He questioned.

"On."

John frowned slightly, and then shook his head. "All you guys did was sleep?" He asked. "What a lame ass way to spend the night together. I would have at least thought that you two had messed around a little bit ... not that I would want to hear details about that, since she's my cousin and all, but ... you guys just went to sleep?"

"Well," I grinned shyly, "we did make out for a little while."

John raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" He asked. "Is that why she was all giddy this morning when I saw her?"

"Exactly what did she tell you?" I questioned.

John shrugged his shoulders and then reached over, picking up a small bag of Cheetos before he turned back to me. "Not a whole lot." He said. "I didn't really talk to her that long; she just stopped by the house to pick up an extra camping chair before she brought Jesse to his game. I asked her how her night was, and she said it was good, and that she ended up spending the night with you at the hotel." He explained. "She probably would have told me more, but they were running a little late for the game."

"I see." I said quietly.

"Is there something more to that story?" John asked. "I mean, more than the making out part?"

I did my best to suppress a smile, and then reached over, grabbing a bag of Fungions, tossing them into my cart as well. "Madison and I are going out, now." I finally admitted.

John studied me for a few seconds, trying to determine whether or not I was telling him the truth. When he decided that I was, a sly smile pulled across his lips. "Yeah?" He grinned.

I nodded my head as a confirmation.

"Right on," he said, nodding his head. "What do your parents think about it?"

"Think about our relationship?" I asked.

"Well, I mean ... what do they think about you getting into another relationship so soon after you and Lacey broke up?" He asked quietly.

"Well," I hesitated slightly, trying to think of a way to phrase my words, "I think they knew that something was going to happen between Madison and me, but I think they were surprised that we were going to try a relationship out so soon."

"Do they," John paused momentarily to hold up his hands to quote his words, "'approve' of my cousin?"

I nodded my head and smile softly. "They love her to death." I replied. "My grandparents think that she's the cutest thing." I laughed quietly. "We had a blast last night with my family."

John laughed to himself and then looked at his bag of chips. "D'you think that they'll let me eat these in here?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "As long as you pay for them, I guess." I mumbled.

"Hmm," was all John said as he studied his chips. "Whatever." He muttered before he opened them, and shoved some into his mouth. As he chewed on them, he thought to himself before he said, "you know, I'm surprised that Madison actually agreed to go out with you." He admitted through a mouthful of Cheetos.

The smile faded from my face a little, and I tilted my head to the side a bit, giving him a questioning look.

"My cousin ... she's hesitant when it comes to opening up to people." He explained.

"Yeah," I agreed, "she expressed that last night when I first asked her to be my girlfriend."

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you this but," John sighed quietly as he wiped his hands off on his pants, "I'm gonna tell you anyway because I don't think Madison would be able to bring herself to tell you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked slowly.

"Things at home with Madison," he started, and then stopped, looking as if he didn't know exactly how to say what he was about to say. "My aunt and uncle have always had a ... 'rough' marriage." He finally said. "And as we grew up, Madison saw how they always fought, and it made her scared of being involved in a relationship like theirs. That's why she's always so hesitant when it comes to relationships."

"I thought that it was always because of how crappy her boyfriends had treated her." I mumbled. "I didn't realize that it was because of something else."

"Well ... that's part of the reason why." John sighed. "All in all, Madison's just had a rough life. I mean, sure, she's always had a roof over her head, and clothes on her back, and food on her plate, but emotionally wise? It's been tough for her. That's why she's always taking care of her brother; it's not because her parents make her, it's because she knows that Jesse won't have anybody else."

"But ... what about your mom and dad?" I asked. "They have them, don't they?"

"Yes, but that's different." John mumbled. "When they're at home, it's just Madison and Jesse. Madison tries to protect Jesse from seeing how much their parents relationship has fallen apart, but she isn't always able to keep him from seeing the things she doesn't want him to see. She may act like she's annoyed with taking care of him, but she's not; she loves him to death."

Licking my lips slightly, I stared at John for a few seconds in silence. I sighed quietly to myself and then reached up, running my fingers through my hair.

"I really like her, John." I said finally. 'I don't know if you know this, but I've always had a crush on her. I'm not rushing into this relationship because I'm trying to get over Lacey or anything, I just ... I really like her." I repeated. "I'm not going to be one of those crappy boyfriends she's had in the past; I'm gonna be there for her whenever she needs me, and if she tries to shut me out, I'm not gonna go anywhere." I insisted.

"I know you won't go anywhere," John said, nodding his head, "and Madison probably knows that ... she's just scared to believe that someone other than her family is willing to devote so much to her."

Taking a deep breath, I let it out in a soft sigh. "Something tells me that we're going to have to work hard to make this relationship work out." I mumbled.

"Well, do you think my cousin's worth it?" John asked quietly.

Biting my lip slightly and then nodded my head.

"Well then, all I have to say is that you'd better not mess things up with her." John mumbled. "You're my friend and all, but Madison is like my sister. Don't break her heart."

"I won't." I replied.

John studied me intently, and then nodded his head. "Alright." He sighed. "I'd better get going; Madison talked me into hanging out with her today at the games. Jesse has a tournament today."

"Oh yeah." I mumbled.

John thought to himself momentarily before he asked, "you wanna go?"

"My entire family has gathered at my house for the afternoon." I sighed.

"Ditch them," John smirked, "I know that you'd much rather be with your girlfriend, than at a boring family function."

Laughing quietly, I nodded my head, knowing what he was right. "Can you follow me back to my house, then?" I asked, "I need to drop my car off."

"Sure." John replied.

With that, we made our way to the front of the store, and I struck up a conversation about something else, anything else to help me keep my mind off of Madison's troubled home life.