All I Want Is You

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
~
Breathe/Anna Nalick

“Ada?” I was scared by the sound of my own voice. It was raspy and soft, a result of my day of crying.

“Lizzie. Thank god! Where are you?” Ada said, her voice high and nervous.

“Ada, I’m scared.” I said, deliberately avoiding the question about where I was.

“Lizzie, I know. But we’re all worried about you. You need to come home. You need to talk about this with Jackson.”

Hearing his name shot daggers through my heart. “I’m not ready yet.” I whispered.

“Lizzie, you know this isn’t right. This is important. You need to talk about this together.” She said, her voice soft and reassuring.

“I just need some time to think. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want this.” I was sobbing again.

“What do you mean you don’t want this? You’re not thinking about...” He voice trailed off. I knew what she meant.

“I don’t know.” I said quietly.

“Lizzie!” She shouted, startling me. “You can’t do something like that without talking to Jackson. This isn’t some random guy. This is your fiancé, the man you said you are ready to spend the rest of your life with.”

“I know. I just don’t know what to do. I just need some time. Tell him I’m okay, I’m sorry and I love him. I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay Lizzie. But just think about what you’re doing. Don’t make any rash decisions. We all care about you. Rob and I are here for you both, and we all want you to come home. We’re all going to be here for you.” She said, briefly calming me. I knew she had been the right person to call.

“Thank you.” I said, tear flowing freely again.

“He loves you Lizzie. He loves you both.”

Then she hung up the phone.

....................

JACKSON’S POV

“She says she loves you.” Ada whispered after she pressed the end button.

Rob was sitting beside me on the sofa. He cleared his throat, clearly slightly uncomfortable with the situation.

“Did she say where she was?” He asked.

“No. I think it’s best if we just wait for her to come back. She will come back. She’s just scared.” Ada said, walking into the kitchen and getting herself a drink.

“What do you mean just leave her alone?” I hissed, my voice harsher than intended.

“Jay.” Rob said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“I need her to come home.” I said, my jaw clenched with anger.

“I know.” Ada said, placing a cup of water in front of me. “But we need to give her time. So many good things were happening to her, it’s hard to deal with something like this. When your life kind of goes off track.”

“My life is kind of off track too.” I said, leaning my head on the back of the sofa.

“It’ll be okay.” Ada said, rubbing my back soothingly. I flinched involuntarily. That was something Lizzie did.

We just sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, until they finally convinced me to try and go to bed. Ada left my phone by the bed and then they left.

But I couldn’t stay there. I got up and paced the room, staring at the empty spot in the bed where Lizzie should be. I didn’t know what I would say to her when she came back. I wasn’t angry at her for leaving. I was just worried and mostly scared. Scared she would do something harsh, without thinking. I wondered about how she felt, and why she thought leaving would be the best thing to do.

But more than anything I just wanted to hold her. To tell her everything would be okay, and that we would get through this together. Because I loved her, more than anything in the world.