You're Just In Time

“We’re kicking it of in Seattle and we are going to be on the East Coast in about ten weeks ok?” Alex smiled at me as we were outside our house, the boys were going to catch a plane to the other side of the country in a few hours. I was trying to stall them as much as possible, I wanted to cherish these few moments while I had them.

“I don’t know how many shows I can go to. I don’t really want to expose a three month old baby to all that yet, even though he will be nearly six months when you get back.” I was sad for all the time Alex will miss out on his son’s life, time that can’t be brought back.

“Six months? Wow he will be moving out before we know it!” I knew Alex meant it as a joke but I could see the pain in his eyes about having to leave his family. I knew because I felt it too, I didn’t have any family here in Maryland where we chose to bring up our family. Alex’s family were close by but I didn’t want to trouble them, they have been so supportive of me already I couldn’t be any more of a burden on them then I have already.

“Phone me when you get off the plane to let me know you’ve landed safely ok?” I tried my best to smile but it was a weak attempt. Alex handed our son back over to me for the last time in what would be months and kissed the top of my head lightly.

“I will, and I love you both. If he starts talking or sitting up or anything you will let me know won’t you?”

“You’ll be the first.” I promised and waved as the guys got in to their transport, I made Logan wave until their vehicle was merely a spec in the distance.

“I guess it’s now just you and me son,” I said to Logan who was looking at the spot the van disappeared from. I hugged him tight to me and walked in to the house down trodden and broken. Logan started to cry as soon as I sat him in his bouncer, I sighed and tried to block his screams out for a few minutes as I unloaded the dryer and loaded the washing machine for the second time that day. Alex had been gone not five minutes and I was already experiencing feelings of me not being able to cope alone, God knows how I will be in the weeks and months to come. I tried to finish my business in the kitchen as quickly as possible then tended to my son. Looking at him pained me even more because he looked like his dad in so many ways. He had dark chestnut hair, which came from my side of the family, he did have his father’s huge deep brown eyes though, and the same nose and chin.

“Logan please be good for mommy while daddy is away ok,” I soothed, bouncing my child up and down slightly to try and calm him down. Soon enough the screams turned in to mere whimpers, he must be tired, I know he was but he had my temperament and refuses to give in and go to sleep when he is tired. Alex deals with it a lot because he says I do enough, unfortunately though he wasn’t here and I had to try and deal with this for myself. I looked at the clock and thought about how the boys should be touching down now and started to stare at the phone waiting for my fiancée to call. I sat down with my son in my arms and rocked him trying to get him to sleep, just as his eyes closed for what I thought would be the final time, he shot up at the sound of the house phone piercing through the house, as much as I loved Alex, I could really hate him sometimes. How much is a ticket to Chicago these days?