You're Just In Time

Louisa’s P.O.V

“Come on honey we have an appointment with the doctor in half an hour.” Alex came in to our bedroom just as I was putting on some mascara.

“I feel so stupid Alex, what if the doctor judges me?”

“He won’t hun, don’t worry he must deal with lots of women each day who must have some problems first of all when they give birth to a baby.” Alex caressed my cheek and kissed the top of my head to try and make me feel better. It worked a little bit but I was still apprehensive about what the doctor was going to say to me. Logan was round Alex’s parents, he stayed the night there. It was strange to have him not there for a night and I did want to keep phoning up to make sure he was ok.

“Are you ready to go now?”

“As ready as I will ever be.” Alex took my hand and I tried to force a smile as we walked to the car and Alex drove to the doctor’s surgery. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I
walked in there, some old people looking for any signs of illness but couldn’t see any so
they stared at me. That hurt a little bit but what hurt more was the mothers with their children playing with them love in their eyes. They weren’t shouting at them, made me feel even worse. I took a seat while Alex went up to the desk and within five minutes we were walking to the doctor’s room.

“What can I do for you Miss Wentz?” The doctor tapped his pen on the beach desk which separated him and me, there was a bed on the left hand side and the desk was cluttered with blood pressure machines and various other instruments.

“I gave birth to my son four months ago and I’ve not been coping well at all. I feel a failure as a mother and I even screamed at him the other day for crying, what type of mother does that?” I tried to hold back the tears but I wasn’t doing it very well, the grip on my hand Alex had tightened up.

“Have you been sleeping well?”

“Not at all. I’m lucky to have three hours sleep. It isn’t because my son is always crying but because I just can’t sleep. My head is always going round and I just feel like such a bad mother and I can’t cope anymore I just can’t.” I could not hold back the
tears now, I looked over at Alex who gave me a sympathetic smile and started to take over the talking knowing I could not go on any further.

“A friend sent me a link about post natal depression, do you think that’s what it is?”

“It is a definite responsibility by what you have described to me. Has it been going on for all the four months your son has been born? Do you always feel low or do you get bursts of being rundown?” The doctor asked still tapping his pen which I wanted to rip out of his hand and throw in the bin since it was irritating me like no one’s business.

“It’s been like it for a while yes since he was born I guess but it has been getting worse, it’s a constant low mood too.” I spoke this time after a few deep breaths.
“I can safely say that I believe you are suffering from post natal depression Miss Wentz. I would not worry too much it affects many new mothers. I will subscribe you with some anti depressants and I can arrange some counselling for you. The main things you can do though is to believe you are not a bad mother because you are not and to also ask for help and embrace all the support that you receive from your partner and family and friends.” The doctor started to type things out on his computer, no doubt a prescription.

“I will give her a lot of support don’t worry about that doctor,” Alex said squeezing my hand once more.

“I have written out a prescription for you for seroxat. You do not need to use it or to take any pills if you do not want to they are there just in case, read the label carefully if you do decided to take them.”

I walked out of the doctor’s surgery hand in hand with Alex for once looking forward to life again.