A Softer World

Shit, what was wrong with me? My stomach felt queasy and I couldn’t focus on anything. I noticed a look of worry flashed over Gerard’s face. Mikey had introduced me to the raven haired girl, supposedly her name was Riley.

“Cheyenne,” I mumbled. “You’re the new girl right?”

She nodded her head and said yes. Suddenly I felt my nausea turning into happiness. The drug was taking me higher than I had ever felt. I couldn’t remember the last time I had done it twice in one day. I let out a small laugh and looked over to Riley, the new but strange girl, “You’re the one Mikey couldn’t stop staring at this morning.”

I stared at her. She hadn’t replied instead she looked over at Mikey who was currently blushing. “Chey, what’s wrong with you? You look really bad and you usually never act like this.” Gerard said.

“I’m acting like myself!” I said back. Anger filled my veins and I wanted to leave. But I ignored the feeling and stayed where I was. Although I couldn’t stop fidgeting, I suddenly felt paranoid that they all new that I was high off crank.

“Not really, but whatever,” he said and shrugged. I felt a wave of relief as he said this.

Finally, I could block out their conversation. I sat playing with a string that was loose on my camisole. My attention was drawn back to the conversation when I heard Gerard talking about Alex Webber’s party.

“– but you should still come to the party, it will be loads of fun,” Gerard said.

Obviously you could say that,” I laughed, “you alcoholic.”

“Chey! What the hell is up with you? I’m not an alcoholic.” Gerard frowned.

I snorted and looked at him. "You are! You, Gerard Way, are a big alcoholic."

Silence fell over the table. I was staring at Gerard and he was staring back. It was like we were having a silent argument. His eyes told me ‘how could you say that?’ and mine were trying to tell him my secret ‘I’m an idiot, I’m a meth addict. I wish you knew, please help me.’.

Suddenly Rays voice broke the silence. “Anyways, are you going to come?”

Riley shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“I’m leaving,” I announced and shot up from the table. I left before anyone could reply.

I had a free period after lunch. I was contemplating whether I should go to the library and finish my short story for English, but decided against it. With the way I was feeling right now, I would not be able to sit still in a library and remain quiet.

Instead, I turned and headed to my locker. The halls were deserted, most of the school pupulation would be sitting in the cafeteria, finishing their lunches. I made it to my locker with ease and instantly I began to open it. Once inside the locker I retrieved the red gym shorts and my black t-shirt. In a hurry I shut the locker and turned on my heel, heading straight for the gymnasium.

I entered the large room, the wooden floor reflected the harsh florescent lighting. I noticed that a group of guys were playing a game of basketball. One of them smiled at me before he was about to shoot the basketball in the net. Too bad I didn’t care for show offs. I pushed the door open and entered the empty changing rooms.

I managed to change from my outfit and into my shorts and t-shirt in record time. Just as I was about to leave a group of freshman girls entered the change room. Some of them shifted their eyes to the floor and hurried inside and others were staring at me as if I had three heads. I loved having this power, the power of being a senior and making the tiny people squirm under my stare.

Some girls were commenting and whispering behind my back. Before the door shut, I heard a high voice say “that girl is a seniour, you idiot. Don’t get in her way!” I laughed and shook my head. I didn’t look that menacing did I?

Apparantly, the freshman girls shared the gym with the freshman boys. Some of them stared at me with their eyes wide open. As if they hadn’t seen a girl in a gym uniform before. I laughed and guickly pulled an elastic from my wrist and tied up my hair. The floating on clouds feeling was still there and it made me smile ever wider. I hurried out of the gym and across the hall to the track room. It was nice that our school was big enough to have this.

In this room, there was a track that followed the perimeter of the room and in the middle was where people could lift wieghts or practice their long jump. It made me feel even better to know that the room was empty. Running was something that I enjoyed, it made me feel weightless and happy. Much like the drug that was running through my veins at this very moment.

I started off my stretching, not one likes a pulled hamstring. At first I started of slow, a nice jog to get my muscles working. Eventually, I increased my speed, I smiled as I could feel my muscles working and pulling. Geoff Rickly sang with rage through my headphones.

It soon felt as if I was in a trance, I could concentrate on nothing but the voice singing through my headphones and the pounding of my feet. I was pulled out of my dream instantly, kind of like walking into a wall. Well actually, it turned out to be a person.

“Shit, sorry,” the voice said. I opened my eyes and there was a hand directly in front of my face I reached up and grabbed the hand, it felt rough against my skin. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said and retrieved my Ipod from the ground. “I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

“I’m Alex,” he said as we both starting walking again.

“As in Alex Webber?” I looked at him. He had straight brown hair and vivid green eyes. He was several inches taller than me with a thin frame.

“The one and only,” he smiled.

“Ha, small world. I’m coming to your party tonight,” I smiled back. Alex opened his mouth ready to say something, but the bell had cut him off. “Sorry, I have to go. But I’ll see you tonight right?”

“Obviously,” he said and smirked. “Oh, and save me a dance.”

I laughed and hurring across the hall and into the gym. I needed to shower.

~

“You better be ready, Corbiere!” Gerard’s voice shouted through my phone.

“I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me,” I laughed. “Look, sorry about what I said at lunch today.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “But get a move on, we’re outside waiting for you.”

I peeked through the window, and sure enough the group was standing outside, minus Ray, shivering in the cold. I grabbed my peacoat and put it on, almost falling over while I put on my chucks.

“Bye, mom and dad! See you tomorrow,” I shouted down the hall. I heard their reply’s and hurried out into the night.

“Well, let’s go. The party awaits,” I smiled and started walking. But stopped when I noticed that Riley was walking right beside Mikey.

“What are you doing?” Gerard said and grabbed my arm to make me start walking again.

“Nothing,” I said. I noticed the way Riley’s eyes flashed between Gerard and I. What was she thinking?

~

Finally, we were inside Alex’s house. I was officially starting to warm up, when Alex walked up to me already smelling of alcohol.

“Chey!” he smiled and wrapped his arms around me. How the hell did he know my name, I don’t remembering telling him. “Come on, let’s go get you a drink.”

He grabbed my hand and lead me through the group of people. I looked back and saw Mikey shake his head, Gerard’s smile was wiped from his face, as he pushed his way through the crowd and into what I think was the living room.

Several red plastic cups later, I was dancing closely to Alex. His hands rested on my hip bones as we moved to the music. I had lost Gerard and the guys completely. Which wasn’t surprising, the house was huge.

Suddenly, I felt someone’s hand grabbed my wrist and pull me away from Alex. I noticed it was Riley, he petite figure and Raven black hair were a dead give away.

“For a small person, you certainly have a grip,” I laughed and rubbed my wrist.

“What the hell are you doing!” Riley screeched at me. I tried to cover my ears, and laughed at the same time.

“Whoa settle down there mom! I was dacing with a guy, if you hadn’t noticed,” I said and tried to leave. Her fingers gripped my wrist again.

“Gerard’s fucking trashed because of you!” Riley yelled at me again.

“No he’s not, not my fault!” I said in a sing-song voice. “He always drinks like this at party’s.”

“I’m sure,” she said and gave me a stern look. “Just keep breaking his heart.” Riley mumbled as she let go of my wrist.

“Excuse me?” I said and turned to look at her. It felt as if I was slapped in the face.

“You heared me,” she snapped and walked away. Who did she think she was? I’ve known Gerard all my life, he was nothing more than a friend, wasn’t he?