Can't Have You

"Zoe! Calm down! Seriously, you're starting to freak me out!" Kristen yelled into the phone.

"NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" I screamed before bursting into another round of tears.

I had locked myself in my bathroom after what Kat had told me. I suppose I should've expected it. I dumped him right, not the other way around and now I was paying the consequences.

"It's only been three months.." I whimpered into the phone before hanging up, ignoring Kristen's frantic talking.

I stared at my phone screen. I had never taken it off the photo of Demi, Selena and I. I went through my photo's. Most of them were of Nick and I or one of his brothers.

Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.

I kept going until they were all gone. Of course, that didn't help at all. Nothing was going to help now. Kat had won.

Game over.

. . .

"Zoe? Are you in there?" Tyler's voice sounded through the door, a soft tapping noise on the wood.

"Wha-?" I wondered, sitting up. I was cold and stiff from the awkward position I had fallen asleep in.

"Zo?" Came Tyler's voice again.

"Yeah, I'm in here." I called back, my voice groggy and my head pounding even worse than usual.

"Haha, just letting you know that Theo will be here in about an hour." Tyler laughed before I heard his footsteps walking away.

That's right, I had a media conference this morning with Miley concerning her tour. I got up off the tiled, bathroom floor and stripped down, getting into the hot shower that began relaxing my tense and sore muscles.

I was all cried out. I just didn't have any more energy left for the tears. I turned off my shower then got out, wrapping a towel around me. In my room, I changed into a grey shirt that tied at the side, a pair of purple skinnies, my black boots (flat, of course) and then blow dried my hair, leaving it to curl naturally. I brushed my teeth and then applied a bit of make-up, just a bit of foundation, eyeliner and mascara with a slick of lip gloss. Leaving my room, I took with me my Fedora hat, my cellphone, my i-pod and my keys.

I had just finished my third banana when Theo arrived. I was the only one home since everyone was either at work or at school.

"Morning Zoe, how are you feeling?" Theo asked as I got into the car.

"Exhausted. Why are they having this so early?" I groaned, laying my head against the head rest.

"They want to know how it all went and mostly, the lot of them want to know how you coped with it all and such. Or so I was told." Theo shrugged.

"Really?" I asked in a bored tone.

"Yeah, apparently with all the hype you had created when you released your CD, the press think you're going to be the next Miley Cyrus. They want to know everything about you now." Theo said.

"Oh my gosh." I suddenly said, bolting up right.

"What?" Theo asked.

"Oh my gosh! I'm on the radio!" I squealed, turning Theo's radio up even louder as 'Full Circle' blasted.

I had been singing for a while sure but this was the first time I had actually heard myself on radio.

"Oh my gosh!" I screamed, giggling in excitement.

"Oi geez." Theo muttered but smiled with me, even going so far as to sing along as the song played.

"Alrighty and we have arrived." Theo announced twenty minutes later as he pulled into the parking lot of the conference centre.

The photographers were snapping like crazy as Theo and I got out of the car, me pulling my Fedora hat on and even waving for a few photos before being ushered inside. There was a large screen set up with a snack table to the side and a long desk with about four chairs.

"Hey Miley." I smiled, almost awkwardly, as I saw her.

She looked at me and, graciously, offered a small smile. "Hey."

Well, at least she wasn't completely snubbing me.

"Okay, now that Zoe's arrived we can get this show on the road. C'mon girls." Kelsey said as she appeared from the other side of the screen.

Miley and I looked at each other before walking around to the other side of the screen, the sounds of applause rattling my brain.

I smiled at everyone as I sat down, Theo placing a Rockstar energy drink in front of me.

"Okay, so, let's get this started, whose first?" Kelsey asked, sitting next to me, Miley's dad next to her.

Everyone shot their hand up but Kelsey only picked one.

"Hi Zoe, Amber Barber from Tiger Beat, I was wondering, how did it feel being in Europe for your first ever tour?" The woman in blue asked.

"Well, it actually wasn't my tour. I don't think I would've managed it if it was." I smiled, "But anyway, um, it was great really. I've always wanted to go to Europe, so yeah, it was a huge deal for me and I just loved being there. It was a great experience."

"Next?" Billy Ray asked.

"Hi girls, Kieran Bruckner from Discover Hollywood, how do you think the response from the European crowd was?"

Miley answered him first. "I think it was brilliant. I mean, they really got into the music and everything. They were so lovely as well, really polite.

"Yeah," I added on, "They were also really funny and they seemed to be in an uproar when we arrived, it was just insane."

"Haha, that's great girls. Next question?" Kelsey smiled at us.

"Hello, I'm Rory Tommins from ELLEgirl. I've actually got a question for you Zoe, how does it feel to know that you're ex Nick Jonas has moved on so quickly? I mean, I'm sure you've heard about him and his new friend he's been taking with him everywhere?"

Miley immediately grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a squeeze. I took deep breath before answering, a fake smile plastered on my face.

"It's not that big of a deal really to me. I mean, Nick and I are fine with each other and if he chooses to go out with other people then that's cool, it's his life, you know? He can do whatever he wants. We were together and now we're not. No big deal." I heard my voice crack in my last sentence and prayed no-one else did.

There were tears in the back of my eyes as the conference went on. People continued to ask me about Nick and soon the whole 'Breakout' tour was completely forgotten. I appreciated Miley changing the subject, I wasn't going to be able to hold it in for much longer if people continued to press the subject.
"Well then, that's enough for today. Thanks for coming." Kelsey finally ended the meeting.

Miley and I said goodbye, she even gave me a hug and soon I was back in the car with Theo.

"Are you ok?" He asked me again as he started driving out of the parking lot. I burst into tears, unable to handle the stress.

"No Theo, I'm not okay at all." I whimpered as he continued to drive.

"You will be though hun, it'll work out in the end, you'll see." He sooted, rubbing my back.

It wasn't going to be though. When Theo dropped me off back at home, there was an envelope taped to the front door.

No big deal right?

There was an object with the note. A bracelet that read;


Nick and Zoe.
Inseparable.

I walked inside my house and shut the door.

Then, I broke down.


Looking at the letter you left
Wondering if I’ll ever get you back..
Dreaming about when I see you next
Knowing that I never will forget

That I was being such a fool
That I still don’t deserve you

Don’t wanna fall asleep
Cause I don’t know if I’ll get up
and I don’t wanna cause a scene
Cause im dyin’ without your love.

Beggin’ to hear your voice
Tell me you love me too
Cause I’d rather just be alone
If I know that I can’t have you.

-Jonas Brothers 'Can't Have You'