Can't Have You

I was home finally.

It was freezing of course, compared to Aussie but it was home and that was all I cared about. We couldn't go out at all because of everyone swamped us. If I thought America was bad then I was totally surprised when we got to New Zealand. It was as if they like needed to touch us or scream at us all the time. I was currently at my old high school, giving a small concert for the girls and going around the classes. I had really missed this place, this life. I was still tutored and in about a month or two I'd be sitting exams of my own as the girls here were. It was strange really, to have everyone fawning over me when before they never noticed me.

"You've grown so much." Kris's mum, Lynn, smiled when I arrived that night. I felt like crying; everything was changing so fast.

I stayed at Kris's house that night, thankful for having somewhere I knew to lay my head. I had had enough of hotels and tour buses. Seeing Goldbar and Roo set me off into a frenzy of tears, riding Roo again it felt as if I had never left, never changed.

The next morning Kris and I woke up early. I wanted to go back to my old house, see it for the last time before we left tonight for Canada. I pulled on a pair of blue skinnies, a silver graphic-tee and a button up blue sweater with black, flat boots.

Walking across the paddock that separated our houses, Kris and I were quiet. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head and she, well, I could only assume she did too. Looking around me, I noticed nothing had changed. The tree's still swayed the same way, I could hear a faint rushing of water; the creek. The creek, the place where I had spent so many hours both by myself and with others.

Seeing my house; my home, I smiled as the tears made tracks on my cheeks, falling to the ground silently. It was still the ramshackle house I remembered it to be. We had enough money to keep it when my career kicked off. I was thankful we did because now I could go back inside, remember the memories and the time's we had spent here. Walking inside, I felt the familiar urge to call out to dad or one of the boys, even mum. I spent my entire life here, singing in my room, washing the dishes in the kitchen, enjoying cold nights by the fire with my mother. Our furniture was still here, everything untouched, dusty but familiar.

Kris and I sat in a comfortable silence in my room, simply staring around. It was like seeing an old movie, one I had seen before but had forgotten. I had already pulled out from under my bed all of the scrunched up Jonas Brother's posters I had stuffed away close to a year ago. Life was so different now, my room in L.A was bigger, more flash and fashionable but I knew, this room would always be my sanctuary. I didn't realise I was crying until I wiped my cheeks, laughing softly with Kris who had tears of her own.

"Do you ever wish everything could just go back to normal?" She asked quietly, staring down at her hands. I wrapped an arm around her, "Yeah, but then I remember everything that's happened and no matter how low I've sunk before, I'm grateful and to be honest, I wouldn't change anything."

"Are you ever going to move back?" She asked, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I might, when I get older I suppose. I mean, this will always be my home. Our home." I said.

"It's all so scary isn't it?" She mumbled, giving a nervous laugh. "Growing up and all. Making our future's, establishing careers. Sometimes I wonder where my childhood went."

I smiled, "Me too."

"It sounds weird.. But I just have this feeling.." She mumbled, looking at me.

"That everything's going to change?" I asked.

"You have it too?" She wondered, her eyes widening a bit.

"Everyone does. It's called adulthood." I laughed quietly.

"Not just becoming adults. I mean something big, not just for me but for you too." She frowned, looking away.

"Hey, don't worry. We'll be there for each other remember. Best friends for life, sisters forever right?" I said, nudging her.

"Yeah, always." She smiled, hugging me.

. . .

"Alrighty, well I wanna slow it down for you all." I said into the mic, breathing heavily as a stool and a piano on wheels came out for me. I thanked the crew before they left the stage.

"You see, I've been writing a song lately and I wanted my hometown to be the first to hear it. Over the tour, it may not seem like it but I actually did have a lot of time to think and while I was doing my thinking, I began to realise just how important my family is to me. My brothers; Chace, Tyler and Caleb but especially my dad. From birth he's been the one pushing me along and helping me out. He was and well, still is my idol, my everything. This one's for you dad.."

(No copyright fringement intended, this song is written by Billy Ray Cyrus so please, don't get all angry I have said I can't write songs, so just making sure everyone knows, I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SONG!)

"You tucked me in, turned Out the lights
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back.

You had to do it all alone
Make a life and make a home
Must been as hard as it could be
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'd be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you were mine and wish you mine
Don't you worry , hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away

Butterfly Fly Away (Butterfly fly away)
Spread your wings now you cant stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (Butterfly fly away)
you've been waiting for this day
All long you know what just to do

Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly
Butterfly Fly Away

Butterfly Fly Away
(Butterfly fly away)"

The song was met with raucous applause, standing up I bowed and hastily wiped away the tears that had welled up in my eyes.

"Thank you and good night!" I smiled, walking off stage. Chace gave me a hug as did Kris before the boys ran back out on stage for their last few songs.

I was changed and washed by the time they were finished. I waited for them to come off stage before throwing my arm's around Nick and hugging him.

"That song was beautiful Zoe, really." He smiled, kissing me gently before pulling away since we were going to meet the fans for the meet and greet.

We were all seated in a large room, photographers and everyone taking our picture's, videoing everything while we talked to the fans. It was nearing the last screaming fan girl when I had a dire urge to go to the bathroom. As soon as I had talked to her, I excused myself and ran down the now emptying halls to find a bathroom. Once I had finished washing my hands, I fixed my hair and then left the bathroom, pulling out my phone as I walked.

"Hello Zoe."

I stopped cold, the phone dropping from my hands as I turned around slowly, my pulse racing.

"Sam." I finally choked out, staring at the boy I had once loved.

"Pleasure to see you again. My, my aren't you doing well nowadays?" He sneered, a smirk on his lips.

"Yo-You can't do anything to me. I'll scream.."

"No-one will hear you. I've already checked." He smiled, the look of it menacing and neurotic.

"What do you want Sam?" I said, backing up slowly, beginning to freak out.

"Hmm, what do I want?" He was mocking me, leaning against the wall with a 'thoughtful' look on his face.

"We, dear sister, want our lives, that you stole, back."

I almost fainted at the sight of her. "Kat?! Wait- You're in this with him!?"

"I always stick up for my family, why? You surprised?" Came the malicious voice of Kat Woodings as she appeared out of the corridor just behind me.

I whirled around so I could see both of them, my stomach churning as I fought the urge to throw up.

"How did you- What?" I breathed, beginning to hyperventilate.

"You're going to regret this Zoe Cooper. You're going to regret screwing us over for the rest of your life."