Can't Have You

Engagements.

"We're getting married!" Dad announced the next morning.

"WHAT?!" Caleb, Tyler, Chace and I yelled, standing up angrily.

"We're getting married." Dad beamed, his arm around Renee.

I think I'm gonna be sick..

"You're k-kidding.. right?" Caleb stammered, looking between us all, "This is some sort of joke right?"

"Hey! Don't let me hear you saying that again!" Dad snapped at him, "Now, Renee and I have planned the wedding for the first of May so make no plans for that day!"

"Oh god.." I muttered, horrified as I clapped a hand to my mouth and dropped down onto the couch.

"Now, I know it's sudden-"

"Sudden? Really dad, cause this seemed so slow, you know. I mean, it's only been two years since mum died and yet here we are, you announcing your engagement after only three months?! Screw you, I'm outta here." Chace yelled before storming out of the room, the sounds of the front being slammed.

"Smooth dad." Tyler shook his head before he and Caleb left too.

"Zo? You're happy.. right?" Dad asked, his eyes watering.

I stood up and took one look at him before leaving the room. I'd never be happy. Not anymore.

The door bell rang and so I turned around and went to open it. I looked up and came face to face with-

"Nick?" I choked out, my eyes wide.

He looked anxious and jumpy. "Is Kat home?"

Oh. That's right.

"Um, yeah.. S-she's in he.." I couldn't finish my sentence, I simply pointed upwards before quickly back up the stairs and down the hall into my own room, slamming the door shut behind me, locking it.

I kneeled on the floor in the foetal position, my arms wrapped around my stomach as I tried to control my gasps. Too much. Way too much for me to handle. I couldn't cope like this. It felt as if I was underwater, everything, Nick, Dad, my career weighing me down and I couldn't get air into my lungs, the water pressing down on me.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, dialling the number.

"Hello?"

"Granddad? I-It's Zoe."

"Oh hello Zoe! Long time no hear! How are you?"

"Can I come and stay with you for a while.. please?"

. . .

I had a month off. From everything and anything. But after that month was over I was going to be thrown straight back into my work, no breaks, no rests until I had my next CD finished.

I sat in the airport waiting for my granddad, my i-pod blaring in my ears.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle

Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side.


"Zoe darling? That you?" Came his husky and aged voice. I looked up and smiled.

"Granddad!" I said before getting up and throwing my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Haha, nice to see you too baby girl. Now come on, you're nana's waiting at home." He laughed, patting me on the back.

He picked up one of my bags as I grabbed the other. In silence we walked through the airport, the photographers continually taking photo's of me. I even stopped and signed a few autographs, posing for a few pictures.

"You should've told me to wear something warmer." I shivered as we stepped outside, the brisk wind whipping at my blonde hair.

"England isn't that cold. You'll get used to it." He smiled.

Granddad led me to his old Chevrolet truck.

"Wow granddad, you've still this ol' girl?" I said as I jumped into the cab of the truck.

"Yep, still runs like a charm too." He replied, getting in as well though his movements were slower than mine.

We were soon driving away from the airport, the outside world rushing past in a haze of colours. I leaned my head against the cool window pane, exhaling deeply.

"Now, you gonna tell me why you've suddenly decided to come out to see your aging grandparents?" He asked.

I sighed. "I just needed time away."

"Is this about that Jonas boy?"

I looked at him, shocked.

"I do read the paper darling." He shrugged, a small smile on his face.

"I suppose part of it is. I just needed to get away from everything, I mean, it was all just swamping me, you know? I felt like I was drowning." I said quietly and then he put his hand on my knee, patting it gently.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But baby girl, running away from you're problems doesn't necessarily guarantee they'll be gone when you go back. You've gotta learn how to stand up to your problems Zoe. You're a smart kid, you know. You'll know what to do in the end." Granddad said.

I stared at him. He was nearing seventy but was still as fit as a fifty year old marathon runner. I loved my granddad, he taught me how to fish when I was nine and he was the one who had brought my brother's and I quad bikes. He was the greatest and my idol.

I turned to look out the window again. Hopefully, by the end of this vacation I'd know exactly what I had to do, but for right now, I was content just staring out the window.