Can't Have You

Weird and Awkward.

Laying on my bed, I felt guilty for having to have asked dad if he could pack my bags since I wasn't able to do much because of the doctor's 'orders'. To be honest, my doctor was pissing me off badly what with having telling me that I was, under no circumstance, allowed to move from my bed until I left for England in two days.

"Hey cripple, how's it going?" Joe smiled, walking into the room. I brightened at the sight of him but dad glowered, making Joe edge away slowly.

"I'm fine. I hate having everyone else do things for me. I feel so useless." I pouted as Joe sat on the edge of my bed.

"Relish it, this'll be the only time it'll ever happen." He shrugged, a cheeky smile playing on his lips.

"Where are the others?" I wondered, closing the book I had been reading.

"Gone out for 'important matters'." He said using air quotes.

"And you're not with them why?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I couldn't be bothered and besides, I wanted to show you something." He smiled mischievously.

"What?" I asked, drawing out my words with caution.

"I'll be back." He grinned, getting up and dashing from the room.

"All done. Make sure you let me know if that boy hurts you again." Dad said, kissing my forehead.

"Just go already dad, it was an accident." I urged, pushing him with the little strength I had.

"Hmph." He scowled, leaving the room. I waited a few seconds before pulling the pill bottle out again and tipping another two pills into my hand, I knew it was stupid taking four last night but honestly, I'm only going to take the required amount from now on. Grabbing my water off my bedside table, I placed the pills in my mouth and swallowed them down with the water.

"Check it out!" Joe said as he walked back in just as I had replaced the bottle in my pocket. I wasn't trying to hide it, I just didn't want everyone getting the wrong idea.

"What is it?" I asked looking at the DVD disc in his hands.

"It's the video we made during the tour. Wanna check it out? No-one's seen it yet." He grinned, switching on my TV and DVD player.

"Oh my gosh yes!" I cheered, smiling broadly as he put the disc in place.

He grabbed the remote off my drawer before laying next to me on the bed and pressing play.

"It's really strange to be watching myself." I said as we watched the tour. There were things like us backstage dancing and singing, the embarrassing one when I fell off stage (Joe almost wet himself laughing at that), our sound checks and even one of the boys filming each other sleeping.

"You'll get used to it. It seems strange but I don't mind watching myself anymore." He shrugged.

"That's because you're constantly watching yourself Mr. Vain." I giggled.

"Oh shush." He poked his tongue out, "You comfortable?"

"Mhmm." I smiled, snuggling closer to his warm body as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Hey Zo.." Joe mumbled.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I.." He trailed off.

"What?" I wondered as Joe's eyes continued to move over my face, his hand playing with my hair.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." He suddenly smiled though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked, confused.

"Y-Yeah, fine. Just fine." He breathed, turning back to the screen. I frowned, Joe was hiding something from me. How weird.

I needed to get to the bottom of this.

. . .
Saying goodbye to Nick and the others, I felt tears spilling down my cheeks.

"I don't want you to go." I mumbled, my arms around Nick's neck Thursday night. I was leaving in the morning but the boys had to go tonight because they were starting to film Camp Rock 2.

"I don't want to go either but I'll txt, e-mail and video message you alright? You look after yourself." He said into my hair, kissing my neck softly.

"I'll miss you." I said quietly, kissing Nick's lips.

"I'll miss you too but we have to go I'm sorry Zoe, I love you baby." He murmured, placing another kiss on my lips before having to pull away.

"I love you too." I said, giving a small smile.

"Bye Zoe! I hope you feel better!" Frankie said, pushing Nick aside and throwing his arms around me.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Laters Tank. Call me yeah?"

"Course! See you!" He smiled, kissing my cheek.

"You feel better alright sweetheart." Denise and Paul said, each giving me a hug.

"Of course, I'll come visit hopefully." I smiled at them while Kevin and Joe each hugged me though something seemed off about Joe's hug and goodbye. It was awkward really and I didn't know why.

I watched out my window as their car disappeared from sight ten minutes later. It seemed oddly quiet now that they were all gone. Of course, I didn't have much time to dwell on that since dad had insisted on me getting some sleep before tomorrow. My plane was at four-thirty in the morning and I had to be there by three. I couldn't wait; a movie. It was like something out of a fairy tale book. You know, small town girl suddenly makes it big. I was like one big cliché but I didn't care. I was famous and that's all I cared about.

It was just a matter of time before all that came crashing down though.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hmm, anyone know what's
eating Joseph Adam? I do. =]

Haha, two out in one day, I'm
amazed. Lately I've been
banned from the computer
because of my 'outbursts'.

Can I help it if I'm a hormonal
teenager who DOESN'T feel
like having to bow down to my
parents every whim? I'll have to
soon though if I wanna go out
Queens birthday weekend.

Hmm..

Enjoy!

P E A C E
x o