Can't Have You

Two months into filming and already I was best friends with the entire cast. They were like some sort of extended family. Christmas and New Years had already been but the only communication I was able to have with Nick was a few short phone calls, video calls and e-mails. Neither of us had enough time to visit one another. It was strange to think just how fast a whole year had passed. It was January the third now and this time last year I had my first ever concert for Miley in Las Vegas. Speaking of Miley, we were still ignoring each other. It was like some sort of 'cease fire', an unspoken agreement between us not to argue and bitch anymore. We both knew it was below us.

My hair was officially a very pale blonde and was always held back by a black ribbon. Blue clothes were now my daily outfit and I was tiring very quickly of them. It was seven at night and I had just finished filming for the day with Johnny Depp, Theo taking me to the new recording studio Hollywood Records had set up in central London.

"...Taylor's been in contact with me and she's all for collaborating with you. We just have to figure out a time and a place." Theo said, raving on until I finally tuned him out with my own thoughts.

I had been missing Nick even more than I thought I would, he was only a phone call away but with our conflicting schedules and the time difference, phone calls were hard to manage as well. Lack of sleep had also been a problem as well, lately I had only been getting about three or four hours and so my make-up artist was continuously having to redo my make-up each day on set for at least an hour and a half, trying to cover the dark under eye circles that had developed. I had taken to cat napping between takes and the setting up of sets.

"Hey! Stay awake miss, we need to get this song finished." Theo said over the loudspeaker. We had been in the studio for close to three hours now and I was literally falling asleep at my seat.

"Right, sorry, go again." I said, cueing the music.

"I've been awake for a while,
you got me feeling like a child now.
Cause every time I see your bubbly face,
I get the tingles in a silly place.

It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose,
wherever it goes, I always know.
You make me smile please stay for a while now.
Just take your time wherever you go."

It was nearing eleven that night when I finally had it finished and Theo allowed me to go home. As of that night we officially had seven out of the twelve songs on my album finished. On the new album there was even going to be an extra disc of my performances and some behind the scenes of me like practicing the songs, at the JoBro's concert and everything so this album was going to get so much hype, a lot more than the first ever got.

"Alright, up at seven please. You're on set at eight, have a good night Zoe. See you in the morning." Theo smiled, waving as I dragged myself out of the car, giving a half-hearted wave to him before going inside the house and down to my room, careful not to wake anyone.

In my room, I stripped off all the make-up and product that was on my face and in my hair, changing out of my outfit and into sweatpants and an oversized shirt, crawling into bed with my phone.

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz,

From: Nick xo

Your probably in bed. Just finished
todays shooting. Miss you.

Love you Zoe.
x

His messages had been getting shorter and shorter in the past couple of months but always ended with 'love you'. Txting Nick back, I shut my phone and dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

. . .

Next morning on set, I was running lines with Theo in my trailer before we started on the caterpillar scene with Johnny.

"Are you using that face wash Kelsey sent over?" Theo asked as I tried to focus on my script.

"Yeah. Has Nick or anyone been in con-"

"No, not yet love. He will, don't you worry." He sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. I felt like crying, it had almost been three months since I had last seen Nick or any of the guys and I had barely even talked to him since then.

"I'll be back, I'm going to get you a bottle of water and some vitamins. Stay there." Theo told me, getting up and leaving the trailer. I sighed and rubbed my face, trying not to cry. It was hard having spent most of the tour with Nick to barely even talking to him for five minutes.

Leaning over, I grabbed my bag and pulled out the capsule of pills, tipping a couple into my hand and dry-swallowing. They seemed to be the only thing helping me lately, keeping both my emotional pain and physical pain at bay.

"Here. Drink this and take two of these, their orange flavour." Theo smiled, coming back in and handing me the bottle of water and vitamins. "Come on now, you're on set in five. Let's go."

Getting up, I shrugged on my jacket over my costume, careful not to ruffle my hair or smudge my make-up before leaving the trailer with Theo, the cold air slapping my face as we walked outside.

Filming that day took longer than usual especially considering one of the lighting fixtures almost fell on me. I was in tears after Johnny had shoved us out of the way when it fell, smashing on the ground. I had to be sent back to my trailer to get fixed up as my clothes, hair and make-up had gotten ruined when I was pushed out of the way.

Sitting in my trailer, my stylists all left me to myself. Filming was going to re-continue tomorrow but today I said I had had enough and I needed a bit of time. Pulling out my cellphone, I dialled Nick's number, wiping my tears of shock away.

"Zoe? Hey, how are you?" Came Nick's voice, the warmth and gentleness of it calming me almost immediately.

"I'm good, just wrapped up filming for the day, how was your day?" I asked, a smile coming upon my face.

"Yeah, good good. Same here. Hey, it's really late so I'll call you back okay? Love you, bye." He said in a rushed voice before hanging up.

I frowned at my phone, switching it off. There was something wrong there, he never hung up on me. Dialling Joe's number, I decided I needed to see if there was something wrong.

"Hello?" Came Joe's voice, having the same effect on me as Nick's did. Weird.

"Joey! Hey, how are you?" I grinned happily.

"Zoe! I'm great! How are you? How's the film going?" Joe asked me, I could picture the smile he would be wearing.

"Yeah, it's great. A little complication today but we're still on schedule. Tell Demi I said hi. Anyway, um, I actually called for a reason." I said a bit quietly.

"And what would that be?" Joe questioned.

"Is there something going on with Nick?" I wondered.

"Uh.. No. Um, maybe you should talk to him about that..." Joe said a little too quickly.

"I've tried but he barely even talks to me. Just like one sentence txts are all I get and when I do get him on the phone he always has to go. Is there something your not telling me Joe?" I asked him, frowning.

"Hey, you should come here for a break as soon as you can. I'm sure everyone would want to see you but I've gotta go. Bye!" Joe yelled, hanging up as well.

That conversation was even weirder than Nick's. Now I knew something was definitely up. Guess I get to visit Canada after all...