Can't Have You

Pacing in my room, I kept smoothing down my dress. I had cancelled hanging out with the girls for fear of blurting out my entire encounter with Joe and right now I didn't need anyone to know of this. How could I be so goddamn blind?! I should've seen this coming!

I mean, back in my bedroom all those months before. I-I-I.. I'm speechless. After having Joe tell me his 'confession' I had darted out of that Starbucks as fast as my legs allowed, needing fresh air and time to think. I had just broken up with his brother for god sakes! Did he honestly need to tell me he loved me now??!! Or think he might love me?!

"You, you what?!" I asked, whispering nervously.

"I think I mi-"

"Where the hell is all this coming from Joe?" I said, beginning to freak out.

"Well, I just realised you've always been there for me, always when I needed you and-"

"That doesn't mean you love me! You just rely on me, which is fine, but-"

"No, Zoe! I do lo-"

"I-I have to go." I said quickly, standing up and almost knocking over my still full drink as I chucked a note down on the able.

"Zoe, wait-"

But I was already out the door.

"Zoe, honey! The limo's arrived!" Dad called, knocking on the door. Taking one more look in the mirror, I dabbed on some more lip gloss before putting my gear into my bag and leaving the room, kissing dad goodbye and going outside and getting into the car.

I had gone and brought a floor length, royal purple, empire line gown that had roses on the bodice. I had teamed it with a pair of flat, white gladiators and red and gold jewellery, my hair half up-half down and curled. I had simple make-up on this time. Just some bronzer, pale pink lips, shimmery gold eye shadow, black liquid liner and mascara.

"You look great Zo, you ready for tonight?" Kelsey asked, smiling at me.

"Thanks. I guess so." I sighed. Great. Now I had to deal with awkwardness between Nick, Miley and Joe! This was going to be the hardest night possible.

Half an hour later and even in the limo I could hear the screaming and yelling of fans, photographers and everyone within a two mile radius of the vicinity. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped out, a (fake) smile plastered on my face as I stared around, the noise almost deafening. Fans were waving banners, some crying, some jumping up and down, one even succeeding at making it past the security gate before being pulled back.

I waved at the crowds as Theo kept a hand on my back, guiding me along. I was stopped for interviews, commented on my dress, my hair and blah blah blah. I tried to keep my eyes from straying but I couldn't help it, thankfully, someone intercepted my sight.

"Taylor!" I grinned at the dark skinned boy as he turned around, smiling.

"Zoe! Hey!" He smiled, coming over and giving me a quick hug. "How are you?"

"Good, yeah. You?" I smiled as we posed for a few photo's together, signing some fans t-shirts.

"Yeah, great. Have you been to see New Moon yet? You know we've just started with Eclipse." He grinned at me, his dark eyes sparkling.

"No I haven't! But I will, my schedules been like fully booked." I laughed, actually feeling happy. "Eclipse, already? I'm still filming Alice in Wonderland!"

"Yeah, I've seen some pictures and everything, blue looks good on you." He winked and I blushed, shaking my head as I grinned.

"So-"

"Nick! Joe! Kevin! Oh my gosh!"

My stomach hurled as my head immediately snapped towards the brothers without my command. I could feel my towers crumbling, my knees buckling.

"Ca-can we.. I need water." I mumbled, picking up my dress and walking off quickly, nauseated. My head was spinning and eye sight was beginning to blur as I headed for the toilets, immediately throwing up both my lunch and breakfast straight into the toilet. How was I going to make it through the night if I couldn't even look at them without throwing up?!

I tidied myself up before leaving the bathroom once more, Taylor standing right outside and looking concerned.

"Are you okay? I hear you thr-"

"Fine, yeah. Just.. tired." I shrugged, smiling.

"Are you sure? I can-"

"Come on, let's get back out there." I smiled, taking him by the arm.

"Hey, where'd you get to?" Theo asked the moment he spotted me again.

"Just had to go to the toilet. It's fine. Chill." I patted his arm, urging him to calm down. Theo freaked lately when I was out of his sight for too long.

"Sel! Demi!" I grinned, spotting the two girls who were posing for the photographers. They turned and grinned, walking quickly over to me. I gave them both a hug, the three of us talking excitedly. Taylor was in London but tonight she was going to have a live broadcast for an award she had won. I still couldn't remember which one Theo told me it was.

I still didn't know if I had won anything because Theo wanted to keep it a secret from me so he had made sure no-one else told me what it was. I was annoyed but excited, at least it was a surprise.

"So, have you spoken to Nick yet?" Sel asked me and I shook my head, looking away from her.

"Hey, you'll be fine alright." She smiled, hugging me.

"Yeah, I guess." I smiled weakly back. Demi was busy talking to a reporter and so Sel had been asked to talk to another while I went to find Taylor again.

"Zoe! Can I get an interview?" A reporter called out.

I smiled and nodded, walking over to the girl.

"I'd just like to say, I love you're dress." She smiled and I blushed. "Thank you! You look great too!"

"So, how does it feel from being on a farm to suddenly becoming famous almost overnight?" She asked, her mic pointing at me.

"It's absolutely phenomenal. It's just.. the best feeling possible. This has always been my dream." I gushed, faking my enthusiasm as I seemed to do a lot lately.

"Great! So, is there any awkwardness between you and Nick Jonas? Reports say you've broken up, is that true?" She asked, curious. This was what everyone wanted to know.

"We're family friends." I smiled, turning away quickly and walking off as Theo called me over.

"They're asking for pictures of you with the boys, are you okay to do them? I can say no if-"

"No, I'll do them. Mind as well get it over with." I sighed, letting out a deep breath.

"Boys!" Theo called, waving them over. Nick avoided my eye, Joe kept an intense gaze on me and Kevin was the only one who hadn't had any sort of romantic affiliations with me so we seemed to be just normal with each other.

"Hey guys." I swallowed down the lump in my throat at being so near to Nick. I stood furtherest away from him, next to Kevin, Joe in the middle of Kevin and Nick.

I counted twenty seconds before pulling away, smiling and walking off quickly.

"Zoe," Nick's voice called, stopping me dead in my tracks. I turned slowly to see him walking towards me.

"Um.. Hey." I said quietly, trying to make it look as if we were just to normal people who hadn't just had the worst break up in history only a few days ago.

"I just wanted to say you look bea-"

"Just don't alright? Please? Not here." I sighed, staring around furtively.

"Please, don't just shut me ou-"

"I. Have. To. Go." I gritted my teeth, smiling as everything was fine turning on my heel and walking away.

I felt light headed and heavy hearted but all of that was just simply doubled as I stopped to watch the arrival of Miley Cyrus, a large grin plastered on her fake face. I wanted nothing more than to rip her head off there and then but I took a few deep breaths, calming myself down before I did anything irrational.

"Zoe!" She called, walking over. Are you kidding me? Is this some sort of sick bloody joke? And yet, it wasn't. Miley wrapped her arms around me, her smile still on her face. "How are you?"

"Come near me again you backstabbing hoe and I'm going to make sure that pretty little face of yours ain't so pretty, got it?" I hissed in her ear before pulling away and smiling for the camera's.

"See you." I said, narrowing my eyes at her before walking away, leaving the teen stunned and shocked.

Nuh uh. You did not screw me over and expect to be my friend ever again. If it was a war this girl wanted, then it was a war I was going to give her. And let me tell you something my friends;

I don't mind getting my hands dirty either.