Can't Have You

Oh god. No. No. No.

I stared at the advertisement in horror.

"What's- Oh Zo. Come on, let's go." Ollie said when she what I was looking at, grabbing my arm and pulling me away quickly.

JONAS BROTHERS TO GO ON TOUR?

Yes, the news was just released today that in NINE DAYS, teen
heart throbs the Jonas Brothers will be doing a world tour for the next year!
Start saving that money tweeny boppers because tickets go on sale in THREE days!

"Why won't you just talk to him?" Ollie urged, staring at me with concern.

"I-I can't. I don't even know what I'd say." I said, shaking my head.

"Hmm, maybe that you're still in love with him could be a start." She remarked sarcastically.

"It's not that easy Ollie!" I groaned, dragging my hand down my face.

"Why not? Walk up to him, say you love him, if he says it back, great! If not.. Well, then at least you know." She said, hugging me.

"I hate the way he makes me feel you know? I mean, last time I felt like this was with S-Sam and I don't know if I want to go back there you know? I just don't like this feeling of complete vulnerability!" I sighed, rambling on.

"I know! Look, hang on, I'll be back." Ollie said, dashing out of her room and then coming back with a silver and sleek video camera in her hands.

"What's that for?" I asked, staring at it as she turned it on.

"You're going to say exactly how you feel to this camera and then, you're going to do the same thing to Nick, got it?" She said, placing a hand on her hip.

I busted out laughing. "Yeah sure Ollie, I'm actually going to tell a video camera I'm in love with Nick Jonas."

"You're going to do it Zoe. Or I'll tell him myself and we don't want that do we?" She shot back firmly, raising in eyebrow as if to challenge me.

"Oh come on, you can't actually be serious about this!" I objected but one look from her shut me up, "Oh, alright start the blimmin' tape."

"And, rolling." She said, the red light coming on.

I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Nick, you don't know incredibly sorry and stupid I am for having hurt you. But you've gotta know this, it hurt me so much more. I-I just didn't think it through properly, I mean, Kat was just threatening me with ending your career and I couldn't do that to you. I suppose part of the r-reason though was that I got.. I got s-sc-scared. I was absolutely terrified."

"With everything that had happened with Sam, I just saw myself falling back to that place where I was just becoming to vulnerable, allowing you to see too much of me, of my secrets and I didn't want that top happen. As much as I loved and still love you, I just didn't want to go back there, to have it all happen again. I know you'd never d-do something like that but I just.. I don't know, I just freaked really."

I could feel the stinging tears in my eyes as I continued on, "I'm so sorry for all this hurt and pain I caused you and honestly, true to my heart, I wish I could just take it all back but I can't and that just kills me in the hardest sense. You think you had you're heart broken when I left, try being the girl who had to do it. That's going to stay with me forever Nick and I will never get over it."

I was crying by this point but I still forced my words out, knowing I needed to do this.

"I'm absolutely crazy over you Nicholas Jerry Jonas. I love every part of you from that wild and soft curly hair, to those unusually clean converse of yours. I miss you with every living fibre in my body. I-I just can't believe I let you go like that, no fight, no nothing. You gave me everything and I threw it all away. Nick, I'm sorry, utterly and completely sorry."

I brushed away my tears before saying my last few words.

"I just wanted you to know; I, Zoe Cooper, am completely and irreversibly in love with you Nicholas Jerry Jonas."

. . .
Nick's P.O.V

"NICK! NICK JONAS, YOUNGEST MEMBER OF HOT BOY BAND JONAS BROTHERS COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" Joe screamed from downstairs.

"GO AWAY JOE, I'M TRYING TO WRITE!" I yelled out my door before shutting it and sitting back at my chair, tapping my pen on my desk.

There was a booming noise on the stairs before suddenly my door was thrown open. I yelled out in surprise before falling off my chair.

"I WOULD LAUGH AT THAT BUT YOU NEED TO COME SEE THIS!" Joe yelled, running over and grabbing my leg, pulling me from the room.

"Hey! Ow! What the- JOE!" I yelled, trying to hold onto anything I could grab as he pulled me along the ground. "Okay, okay! Let me go and I'll get up and follo- Let me go!"

"If I let you go will you promise to watch this clip for me?" Joe asked. There was something in his eyes, something I couldn't quite place.

"Yes, fine." I finally agreed and he let me go. I got up and adjusted my rumpled clothes before following him into the lounge where his laptop was waiting.

He sat me down on the couch, bringing the laptop closer. The website was Youtube.

"Why are yo-"

"Just watch Nick." He sighed before pressing play.

Up came Zoe's face. I frowned, "Joe-"

"Just. Listen." Joe gritted his teeth as the video of Zoe began to talk.

In a few minutes it was over. I gulped, blinking away my own tears as I looked at Joe.

"Yeah, I know bro." He said.