Letters of Decay
Chapter 2.
Kris awoke at precisely 9:07 a.m. For approximately 3 seconds, he was… okay. Then the weight fell upon him. It was crushing, paralyzing. It was as if a thousand souls of the damned were thrashing in his heart. He feared it would just stop beating. But that would be too uneventful. Karma had not had its chance to tear Kris down a million more times.
He stared at the sage green wall. The ticking of the clock was deafening. Normally the early morning was filled with the sounds of the pair’s breathing. They would be laying there, a tangled mess of pale, sinewy limbs and charcoal gray sheets. Every day for the past 3 months had started out like this for Kristofer. The pattern, if not pleasant, was comforting. It was predictable.
Today was Saturday. Kris decided he wasn’t going to leave his apartment. He would get drunk, pass out, and repeat. It’s the only was he simply wouldn’t break down. The pallid boy reached for the half-empty bottle of liquor on the bedside stand. He was quite a different person now than he was mere weeks ago. Every square inch of his body ached, and his once-bright topaz eyes were now dull and bloodshot. He hadn’t the strength nor the will to make himself look decent.
Kris missed his one and only.
6 weeks after Alex left, Kris realized he was 100%, irrevocably in love with him. Kristofer had taken the boy for granted. He thought Alex would never leave because he loved Kris too much.
As Kris finished off the bottle, the doorbell rang. He sprang from his bed and dashed to the door. Wrenching it open, he saw only a blank envelope on the ground.
My Dearest Love;
I know I shouldn’t write you. It hurts me so, but just know that my will hasn’t wavered. I’m still not coming home. I truly hope in the past 91 days, 18 hours, and 27 minutes you have felt pain. It would only be a fraction of my heartache, darling. Do you miss me? I hope not. I’m glad to hear that you haven’t tried to find me.
Please, please, please, move on. I haven’t, nor will I ever, but it’s what I deserve. I wasn’t all you wanted; I’m not beautiful and aggressive and strong. I wasn’t yours and I tried to make us work and I’m sorry. I was keeping you from what you wanted.
Just know, my love, that I think of you more often than not and I want nothing more than to be with you. I would put up with the lying, cheating, and abuse to be near you again.
But slowly I will forget you. I have to, or I fear I will go insane. I will never love another to the extent that I love you. I’m so lost without you, Kristofer. I can’t live without your touch. I fear I’m dying. Going on like this is ridiculous.
I love you more than you’ll ever know. I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry for all I’ve done. You’re still my everything.
- Alexander
Kris almost cried with joy. A letter from his Alex! But every word hurt Kris deeply. Alex thought Kris had never loved him. Those words created a wound that would not heal until Alex knew how Kris was faring without him.
He stared at the sage green wall. The ticking of the clock was deafening. Normally the early morning was filled with the sounds of the pair’s breathing. They would be laying there, a tangled mess of pale, sinewy limbs and charcoal gray sheets. Every day for the past 3 months had started out like this for Kristofer. The pattern, if not pleasant, was comforting. It was predictable.
Today was Saturday. Kris decided he wasn’t going to leave his apartment. He would get drunk, pass out, and repeat. It’s the only was he simply wouldn’t break down. The pallid boy reached for the half-empty bottle of liquor on the bedside stand. He was quite a different person now than he was mere weeks ago. Every square inch of his body ached, and his once-bright topaz eyes were now dull and bloodshot. He hadn’t the strength nor the will to make himself look decent.
Kris missed his one and only.
6 weeks after Alex left, Kris realized he was 100%, irrevocably in love with him. Kristofer had taken the boy for granted. He thought Alex would never leave because he loved Kris too much.
As Kris finished off the bottle, the doorbell rang. He sprang from his bed and dashed to the door. Wrenching it open, he saw only a blank envelope on the ground.
My Dearest Love;
I know I shouldn’t write you. It hurts me so, but just know that my will hasn’t wavered. I’m still not coming home. I truly hope in the past 91 days, 18 hours, and 27 minutes you have felt pain. It would only be a fraction of my heartache, darling. Do you miss me? I hope not. I’m glad to hear that you haven’t tried to find me.
Please, please, please, move on. I haven’t, nor will I ever, but it’s what I deserve. I wasn’t all you wanted; I’m not beautiful and aggressive and strong. I wasn’t yours and I tried to make us work and I’m sorry. I was keeping you from what you wanted.
Just know, my love, that I think of you more often than not and I want nothing more than to be with you. I would put up with the lying, cheating, and abuse to be near you again.
But slowly I will forget you. I have to, or I fear I will go insane. I will never love another to the extent that I love you. I’m so lost without you, Kristofer. I can’t live without your touch. I fear I’m dying. Going on like this is ridiculous.
I love you more than you’ll ever know. I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry for all I’ve done. You’re still my everything.
- Alexander
Kris almost cried with joy. A letter from his Alex! But every word hurt Kris deeply. Alex thought Kris had never loved him. Those words created a wound that would not heal until Alex knew how Kris was faring without him.
♠ ♠ ♠
Concrit makes me orgasm. =)