Sometimes Resisting Is Easier Than Giving In

“Where are you going?” Alex asked, leaning against the doorframe watching me apply make-up.
“Out.” I replied in an obvious tone.
Why else would I be making my make-up this perfect?
“You don’t dress up to just go ‘out’. There’s something going on. I mean I can see from your room that you had a hard time deciding what to wear.”
I glanced into my bedroom to note what he had said. I had strewn my clothes all over the bed and floor trying to find something that would look nice.
“Why did you come over? I told you I couldn’t hang tonight.”
“Yea, you also told me you were writing a paper. Obviously you’re not. So if you’re not writing a paper my logic is that you can hang out tonight. Besides when you say you can’t hang out I get naturally curious about it.” He stated plainly as he sat on my counter.
“Do you really need to know?” I asked.
“Do you really need to go out?” He countered narrowing his eyes.
“Yea.”
“Then I have to know.” He sighed picking up my eyeliner and examining it.
“I have a date.” I cringed mentally hoping that his reaction wasn’t so bad.
The eyeliner fell to the counter, bounced, and clattered to a stand still in the sink. I ignored it because I thought that was going to be all from him and finished up my make-up. As I started to shove various components of my make-up into the bag he looked at me.
“A… a… date?” He stuttered.
“Yep.” I zipped the bag and tossed it under the counter.
“Like, with a boy?”
“Yep.”
“A boy from school? A boy I don’t know?” His forehead wrinkled.
“Yes.” I sighed.
“So, do you like him?” The curiosity and horror in his voice rang clear.
“He’s cute.” I deflected.
“But do you like him?” Alex put his hand on mine to stop me from wiping the counter down.
For the first time I looked into his eyes. I could see so many emotions on his face: fear, astonishment, hurt, rejection. I didn’t want to tell him the truth because he looked so scared. I knew I had to though. If Darren and I became something, he’d have to get used to it. Better to tell him now so he’s not hoping.
“Yea, I like him.” I sighed looking away.
Alex pulled his hand back and folded his arms across his chest. I didn’t know what to do or say. I knew he was hurt. He was probably going though in his head why I didn’t like him and what Darren could have that he doesn’t. I could think of one thing that Darren had that he didn’t, anonymity.
“I guess I should go before he picks you up then.” Alex said harshly as he jumped off the counter.
“I’m meeting him. He’s not picking me up. I’m not that dumb.”
“Oh good.” He faked excitement. It dripped with sarcasm. It hurt. “See you later, Emmeline.” He said walking down the stairs.
“Alex, wait.” I begged as I followed him.
“What? Why should I wait? I’ve been waiting for years. I can’t wait for you anymore, not when you’re going out with another guy.” He said turning around to face me.
I didn’t say anything as he stared at me waiting for a response. I couldn’t think of anything for a moment and then shot back, “You knew how I felt Alex. You knew I didn’t want to be with you. We went over this when I visited you. Why would you even wait after that?”
“Because, I love you.” He almost yelled while hitting himself in the chest. “You don’t believe in that so it doesn’t even matter.” He said walking out the door.
He sped off angrily and I rolled my eyes. I hoped he made it home safe though I knew he wasn’t going to go straight home, not in that state. He would go out to his place in the creek and just sit there for a while thinking like he always does when he’s upset over something. He’ll probably go write too.
I went back into my room and grabbed my keys. I couldn’t spend another millisecond thinking about Alex. Telling him had gone as best as it could have. We didn’t get into a screaming match like I had expected, there were just some words thrown around. I wasn’t concerned because I knew he’d be okay soon enough. I just wanted to go see Darren.
“See you later Mom!” I yelled as I ran out the door.
I got into my car, checked the time, and headed out to Ruby’s.
Maybe six wasn’t the best time. I got caught in traffic on the way to Ruby’s and was getting close to running late. I found myself cursing like Alex at the traffic. Two more minuets and would be late!
I made it to the parking lot late by five minuets. I went inside as quickly as I could. The hostess looked up at me.
“I’m supposed to be meeting someone here.” I said before she could get a word out.
“A Darren Dursch?” She asked.
“Yea, that’s him.”
“Right this way.” She said after glancing at the layout in front of her.
I followed her but it wasn’t really necessary. I could see Darren within seconds. He’d obviously seen me before I saw him because his face was lit up with a smile.
“You’re server will be right with you.” The hostess said as I sat.
“Thank you.” Darren nodded to her.
“I’m so sorry I’m late.” I said.
“It’s fine. I’m not upset.”
“Good, it’s just that I got caught in traffic and someone was at my house that held me up a little.”
“Don’t worry about it, really. I don’t mind.” He laughed.
“It’s just that I hate being late. Especially since this is a date.”
It seemed to send a thrill though Darren when I said that this was a date. I too felt a thrill when I watched his reaction and thought about it.
He passed me a menu and picked up his own. I didn’t open mine though. I knew what I wanted.
“Not hungry?” He asked me.
“No, I know what I want.”
“What’s that?”
“Cheeseburger. My favorite.” I smiled.
“Ahh those are good, however I think I’m going with the Bacon Cheeseburger.”
“That one is also delicious.”
He smiled. I was glad we could agree on most things including food.
After dinner we both hopped into our separate cars, which seemed silly to the both of us but I wasn’t going to just leave my car in the parking lot, and headed down to the boardwalk. We had agreed on the boardwalk because there were so many things to do there and it was college night. Almost all games were free tonight and we could play as much as we wanted so long as we could prove we were in college. Darren had his school ID with him so we were set. I had left mine in my school bag half-hazardly tossed on my bed underneath clothes.
We parked next to each other and he got out of his car fast enough to open my door for me. I stepped out with the help of his hand supporting some of my weight. He didn’t let go of my hand as we made our way to the bright lights and sounds.
“So, you are having fun with the boring old chemistry major?” Darren smiled pulling me closer with the advantage he had of holding my hand.
“Mmhm are you having fun with the Physics major?” I countered.
“Yes, I am. I’m very glad to be out with her too.”
“I am glad to be out with the chemistry major. He might be able to mix a good drink for me.”
“You drink?” He asked curiously.
I nodded. “Do you?”
“Of course. We’re college students. It’s law to have a fake ID.” He laughed.
“I don’t have a fake. I just let my friend by drinks for me. I try to pay him back all the time but usually he refuses.”
“Oh.”
“Good plan though! I don’t drink all the time. I’m not like a party girl or anything.”
“I figured that one out at the party that we actually went to with Courtney as a tag along.”
“Yea, I think I had like one or two drinks.”
“Same. Not to into the whole getting-drunk-until-I-pass-out thing.”
We made it to all the bright, flashing lights, blaring music, and college students fast enough.
We spent a lot of time playing silly little games and losing them most of the time. We made fun of each other for messing up, but it was all in a nice way.
Neither of us ended up drinking at all. We found ourselves at the end of the night walking along the beach towards our cars rather than down the noisy boardwalk.
The waves crashed quietly against the sand. I had taken my shoes off to allow my toes to trap sand between them and maybe get a sort of pedicure that I would have to finish off at home with nail polish. Darren had left his shoes on, saying that he’d rather not carry them around because they might smell bad.
I rolled my pant legs up a little and walked over in the wet sand. The water washed over my feet every once in a while. I took a deep breath of the ocean air.
“I had a lot of fun tonight.” Darren said.
“You sound like this is the end. We can still have some more fun while walking back to the cars.”
“So you’re the kind of girl that likes to squeeze as much fun out of every moment as possible.” He said.
“Yep. That’s me. I think I get it from who I hag with though. They’re all a group of fun loving people. You should meet Jack.” I laughed thinking of the silly, skinny boy.
“I would like to meet your friends. You’ve met all of mine.”
“Maybe next weekend we can do something.” I said knowing that one friend would be missing from that outing.
“Maybe.” Darren sighed.
I rinsed off my feet in the water and went back into the dry sand. The new sand clinging to my feet would eventually fall off as we walked and my feet dried. Darren slipped his arm around my back and kissed the top of my head. I kissed his neck. He giggled.
“I like this.” He said.
“Me too.” I said stopping him. “But…”
I put my arms around his neck and stood on my toes.
“I think I would like this better.” I said before pushing my lips to his.
I think he was a bit thrown off that I kissed him, but he was into it once the initial shock wore off. He pulled his arms tighter around my back and I pulled him closer to me with my arms. Our lips meshed for a few more seconds before he pulled back.
“Yep, I liked that better.” I smiled.
“Good. I think there’s going to be a lot more of that.” He said kissing my nose.
“Okay.” I said quietly.
We kissed one more time before heading back to our cars. It didn’t take that long to reach them because we were more than half way there when we had stopped.
At our cars I kissed Darren once more before getting into my car.
“Call me when you get home. I want to know that you’re safe.” He said when I rolled down the window.
“I will. See you at school tomorrow.”
“English class.” He rolled his eyes.
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. The entire drive home I ran the whole night though my head over and over.
The light in the front of the house was still on when I parked in the driveway. My mom was waiting for me like she always did.
I locked my car and went into the house.
“I’m home Mom!” I called.
“Come here.” She said from the family room.
I walked down there to find her watching a re-run of House.
“How was your date?” She asked.
“Good. I think I’m gonna go out with Darren again.”
“I can see that you’re happy.” She smiled.
“Yea, and a bit tired. I think I’m going to go to bed now. I have school tomorrow and six o’clock comes early.” I said.
“Good night Hun.”
As I climbed the stairs to my room I pulled out my phone. I had a voice mail but decided to check it after I called Darren.
“Hey.” He said happily.
“I’m home now.”
“Good. I’m home too.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I said.
“Tomorrow.” He agreed.
We said goodbye and hung up. That had to be the shortest phone conversation in the history of phones.
I got into my room and turned the light on. The pile of clothes was gone. I noticed that they had all been put away. My mom must have done it while she was waiting for me. I smiled. She had cleaned my whole room it appeared. I guess she had been worrying and wanted to do something to keep her mind off of it.
I checked my voice mail and had a call from Rian. I listened.
“Hey Emm! It’s Rian. Just wondering if you could help me with something, but I forgot that you were on a date tonight. Call me back.”
I decided that he wasn’t asleep yet so I called him.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Rian answered.
“I just got home. What did you need?”
“Good date then.” He said more to himself. “Uhm, You have the same laptop as me right?”
“Yep.”
“There’s some weird thing going on with mine and it wont let me do anything. I was wondering if you knew how to fix that. I remember yours did that.”
“Yea, I can fix it. Can I come over after school tomorrow though?”
“Sure. I bet you’re tired.”
“I am. Tonight was amazing though.”
“Tell me about it tomorrow. You need to get to bed.”
“Okay. By Rian.” I yawned.
“See ya tomorrow.” He said.
I hung up and changed into pj’s before brushing my teeth and getting into bed.