Sometimes Resisting Is Easier Than Giving In

Alex was in the bathroom. It was five minutes until the guys had to step on stage and he had never been more frightened in his life. I knocked on the door and didn’t get a response from him so I just opened the door anyway. He was sitting on the floor next to the toilet and looking like he was about to throw up again.
I crouched on the floor next to him and pushed his hair back. He tried to stop me from doing that because he’d just spent a long time on fixing it but I won out. It was a little ridiculous that he was worried about what he looked like when he was puking. Seconds later he was grabbing at the toilet and leaning over it.
At least he was in the dry heaves stage because everything in his stomach had already come up. I stood to get him some water and wet some paper towels to wipe his face with. He rinsed his mouth out while I got the paper towels ready.
When he was sitting against the wall I crouched in front of him again and began with the cool paper towels. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths to calm himself. He mumbled that he was done throwing up over and over to himself. I placed a new towel in his hand and let him use it how he wanted while I flushed the toilet and threw away the towels I had used on him.
A knock sounded on the door and I cracked it open. Rian was there with a sympathetic smile on his face. In his hand he had Alex’s toothbrush and toothpaste. I thanked him and shut the door.
Alex pulled himself up off the floor and took the toothbrush and paste from me and went to the sink. I made sure everything was cleaned up and then hugged Alex from behind. He leaned his head against mine and smiled. I kissed his shoulder and then let him do so he could rinse his mouth out. Just for good measure he got more toothpaste and started again with the brushing. When he was satisfied he wiped his mouth off and turned to me.
I was pulled into a hug and he nuzzled my neck.
“Thank you.” He whispered.
“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t it because I care.” I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else.
It was hard enough to express my feelings to him.
“I love you.” He said understandingly.
“Hey…” Rian’s voice said from the other side of the door. “Are you okay in there Alex, they said they could put someone else on if you need more time.”
Alex kissed me quickly and then opened the door with me still in his arms.
“I’ll be fine. Just five seconds.” He said and then shut the door.
When I was about to ask him why he needed five seconds when he looked ready to me he pushed his lips to mine. Then I understood why he wanted to brush his teeth twice. He tasted minty and when he pulled back it left me craving more. I tried to get him to start another make out but he laughed and told me he had to go because he had absolutely no more time. He took a second to mess with his hair in the mirror and tug on his all black clothes before taking his scarf off and putting it around my neck.
“I think it goes well with your cute little dress.” Alex said playing with the fabric of the scarf.
He walked out of the bathroom tugging on my hand.
We walked out and found that Jack had his guitar on, the same with Zack and his bass. Rian was wearing a crazy hat and tapping his feet and drumming on his thighs in anticipation. Kara was standing behind Rian’s chair rubbing his shoulders. Courtney was kissing Zack. Jack was talking to that waitress that he’d given his number to. Our other friends were there as well all talking to each other and getting the guys ready. Alex squeezed my hand and I looked up at him.
“I guess this is it.” He said biting his lip as they called All Time Low to the side stage area.
“You’re going to do great!” I kissed him on the cheek and then shoved him off in the direction the others had started moving.
Courtney, Kara, the waitress, and I all met in the middle of the room feeling a bit anxious and not knowing where to go. Then Delicious and Flyzik grabbed the four of us and tugged us to the sound booth with them. The boys weren’t out yet but the air was electric with the crowd’s anticipation.
It got really loud when they walked out and we covered out ears. Flyzik just laughed at us and pointed to his earplugs. I punched him in the arm playfully and then turned my attention to the stage. Alex saw where we were and pointed us out to the rest of them. They were just waiting for the okay to start playing.
Alex stepped up to the mic and started singing the lyrics to Poppin’ Champaign and the rest of the music came in quickly. Courtney started dancing around not caring if she bumped into the rest of us and soon we were all dancing, the girls that is. I made a conscious effort to keep out of the sound guys way and keep the other girls out of his way as well.
Almost though the song Alex said, “All right you little beauties, get your feet off the ground.”
Everyone started jumping at that moment. The lights were flashing on and off and the guys were playing their best. There didn’t seem to be any trace of fear in them anymore. They were all filled with adrenaline and they were amazing.
The song ended all too soon and they were giving people in the crowd high fives. Matt wouldn’t let us leave. He said we had to stay here for a moment so we listened though we wanted to go see our boys. He and delicious promised that we’d see them soon enough.
Before any of us could get really anxious about seeing them I felt a pair of arms around my waist. I knew it was Alex from the way he encircled me and pulled me to him. I turned in his arms and threw my arms around his neck. He seemed surprised at my reaction when I kissed him eagerly but didn’t mind it after a moment.
“You were wonderful.” I told him.
He nodded and I could see in his eyes that he was amazed at what had just happened.
“I can’t believe we made it though!” He laughed a breathless laugh.
I could see that he was still feeling the adrenaline in his veins and it was going to take him a moment to calm down, as it should have been. That was a monumental moment for them and they should be able to enjoy it.
When Alex turned to start high-fiving everyone in his reach I noticed how crowded it had become with their arrival. They were all either being greeted by their respective girlfriends–or in Jack’s case just a friend that was a girl–or they were high-fiving everyone in reach.
I stepped out of the sound booth and waited as others followed my example. Soon our party went back into where they’d started out and there were so many questions being thrown around. Where was this person? What are we going to do now? Who’s up for some dancing? I couldn’t sort though the voiced to find Alex but he found me.
“There’s another room that has a view of Time’s Square. All the artists are going there for a party and to watch the ball drop. Want to go?” He asked me.
“Of course.” I agreed.
He led me though the hallway into the room he was talking about. It looked like another studio but it had been done for a dance party. To the far left were tables of food and drinks. The wall directly across was broken by huge floor to ceiling windows and that’s where the DJ was set up. The dance floor was most of the room and the far right wall had some couches and chairs for people who wanted to relax a bit and watch others have a good time.
Alex too me to the left and handed me a glass of champagne. He took one for himself and clinked it against mine.
“To an awesome show.” He smiled.
“To an amazing night to come.” I added.
We both drank and then giggled after we’d swallowed. It didn’t take long to finish off the thin glasses of champagne and then we were on the dance floor with Courtney and Zack to the left of us. Jack had taken his date to the couches; I had been informed that he name was Alicia. No one seemed to know where Rian and Kara had went but a few songs later they walked in the door and went to the left of the room to get something to eat.
Once I knew where all my friends were and that they were all having a good time I concentrated on Alex. He was all that mattered now because I was here because of him. He pulled me closer when a slow song came on. I put my head on his shoulder.
“So are we going to do that gay tradition and kiss when the ball drops?” I asked him.
“I don’t think it’s gay.” He said looking down to kiss my cheek.
“I take that as a yes then.”
“You don’t really think it’s gay do you?” He asked me.
“A little bit.” I admitted. “Then again, if it’s you that’s kissing me I wont complain.”
“That’s what I thought.” He smiled.
I lifted up my head and pushed my lips to his. This was a slow song and the dance wouldn’t be right unless I kissed him. He took his hands from my waist and put them on the sides of my face to hold me in place. We stopped dancing and I put my arms around his waist to pull him closer. After a few seconds he pulled back. I smiled and blushed as I put my head on his shoulder again.
“You look so pretty tonight.” He said to me.
“You look rather dashing yourself in all black.” I said kissing his neck.
He smiled and nibbled at my ear lobe for a moment. I laughed and crushed my ear to my shoulder. He managed to get his face out of the way before he got stuck, though I know he wouldn’t have minded it much. When I relaxed and put my head down on his shoulder he rested his chin on mine.
We were still dancing slowly when the song change to a more up beat tune. I saw Kara drag Rian onto the dance floor and then turned my eyes to scan to room for everyone else. Jack was dancing with Alicia. They looked like they were having a good time but it didn’t look like there was anything but friendliness going on between them. At least they were happy. Courtney and Zack were on a couch on the right side of the room. She was on his lap and had her arms around his neck. When I realized that they were in the middle of a kiss I turned away and blushed again. Before Alex could ask he saw them too and understood.
“You’re so silly.” He laughed to himself.
“What? It’s their private moment and I feel weird watching it. I feel like I’m making it not so private anymore.”
He just laughed and then picked up the dancing by stepping behind me and making me pick the speed up as well.
The entire night we went from dance floor, to refreshments, to couches. Sometimes we would request a song and wait until it was on to tear up the dance floor. I didn’t always dance with Alex either. I took turns with all the guys. When Courtney and I danced they watched and looked like they were thinking something only boys would think. There was that grin exchanged between guys that meant they were thinking the same thing and it was better if we didn’t know what was going on though their heads.
Alex introduced me to people and I can’t remember all their names, famous, infamous, or just friends that knew people who knew people. I would have rather he didn’t introduce me to some of the people because I felt so weird about it. It seemed to push it further into my head that Alex was kind of recognizable and that people followed him. That was always a little issue that I had. I was happy for him, no doubt, that he was doing well with All Time Low, but sometimes I just wished he were that normal boy from Maryland that he couldn’t ever be again. Not for a long time. However I sucked it up and met everyone he introduced me to with genuine kindness and treated them as if they were anyone else.
Time passed so quickly that I forgot to look at the clock. There were so many things to do, so many conversations to keep up with, and so many dances to pay attention to that I just forgot about that clock that was ticking closer and closer to 2009.
When Alex pulled me into his chest from behind I was at first startled and then knew what was about to happen. He took me to the window. There was still a minute before the ball dropped but he wanted to get towards the window anyway. We stood there at the floor to ceiling window looking down at all the people in Times Square. It was a sea of bright colors and metallic hats. It made me smile to see the streets crowed with so many people full of life and excitement. It also made me feel a little bit special that I was above them in a building with an amazing boyfriend holding onto me.
“Are you ready?” Alex whispered in my ear.
It had gone quiet and people in the room with us were now coming towards the window. They all wanted to watch the ball drop just like us.
“Ready as I can be.” I responded.
“Same.” He agreed. “I have no idea what this year is going to bring.”
“It’s going to be amazing.” I said kissing his jaw line.
He ducked his head and kissed me back.
“Here we go.” He said when the ten-second clock appeared on the giant screen.
Everyone in the room all together and everyone in Times Square below started shouting as one as the numbers flashed on the screen and counted down to the new year. At one I turned myself to face Alex and he grinned down at me.
“One!” We shouted together and then his lips pressed to mine.
I locked my arms around his neck and his arms tightened around my waist. He leaned back and picked my feet up off the ground as he kissed me. I felt thrilled with everything that was happening all at once.
It seemed too soon when he pulled back so I pressed my lips to his again quickly. Then I caught Jack and Alicia’s faces separating. Apparently they had kissed as well when the ball dropped. I watched as they both broke into hysteric laughter and held onto each other’s hands. I glanced in the other direction and saw Courtney and Zack still locked at the lips. Rian and Kara were the same. I looked back to Alex, who had been staring at me the whole time watching my observation of our friends.
“Everyone look like their new year started out right?” He asked.
I nodded and hugged him. He pulled me closer and pushed his cheek to my hair. My new year was definitely starting out right.
“Ready to get out of here?” He asked me.
Some people were leaving and others were staying. I looked around and then nodded. I was tired and a bit tipsy from the champagne that I’d been drinking throughout the night.
Alex locked his arm around my waist and we started to walk out of the room. I didn’t realize just how warm it had gotten in there until we hit the cool air of the hallway. Knowing that the outside New York air was going to be much colder I angled myself into Alex more and kissed his cheek.
We got into the elevator with other patrons of the party and went to the lobby floor. Then it was out the back door for us and into the cold night.
There were some fans that had somehow gotten past security when we made it to the bus. Alex spotted them before I did and stopped me. I looked up at him and then at them. They were watching us with curious eyes.
“Go onto the bus. It’s cold and I don’t have a jacket to give you.” He said rubbing my arms.
“I could wait.” I said.
He shook his head. “I don’t want you getting sick. Go in the bus and get comfortable. I’ll be there soon. I promise.”
I couldn’t resist him when he made it sound like that. His speech combined with the way he was looking at me, with the utmost adoration, made me jell-o and I listened.
He pulled me as close to his as he could and planted a kiss on my lips before starting to walk with me towards the bus, only our hands connected now.
The fans were still there waiting, watching. I felt suddenly exposed as I realized they had just watched our entire exchange without hearing what was said. We approached the bus and I looked at Alex. He was already looking at me and I blushed.
“I’ll see you soon Babe.” He smiled.
“Okay, I’ll go hang with Bas.” I said.
He let my hand go and I gave a quick wave to the girls looking at me without looking at their faces and ducked into the bus.
Sebastian ran to greet me and I picked him up. The bus driver told me that he was okay while I was gone and that he had been a good pup. I thanked him for watching Bas and took him into the back with me where some of the friends that had come us were lounging. Delicious was back there and gave me a loud greeting when he saw me.
“Where’s Alex?” He asked after a moment.
“There were some girls that wanted pictures.” I said.
“Oh, I saw them too. They were nice. I talked to them for a while. One of them had a present for Alex.” He mumbled.
“I bet he’ll appreciate it.” I smiled as I went though my bag to get out something to sleep in.
I had stuffed sweatpants and an old t-shirt into my purse so that I could change on the bus. I didn’t want to have to stay in my dress the whole ride back.
I ducked into the bathroom leaving Sebastian with the people in the back for only a moment. I head Alex get on the bus while I was changing so I went faster in order to meet him in the hallway.
When I stepped out he was leaning against the wall opposite the door with a smile for me. I kissed his cheek.
“Hi.” I said.
“Hey.” He said back while playing with my hands.
“Did you have a nice talk with them?” I asked referring to the fans outside.
“They were very nice. One gave me a scarf that she’d made. It matches my beanie.” He smiled lifting it up to show me.
“That’s thoughtful.” I said feeling it.
“I think it will be useful tomorrow morning when we do a little shopping or whatever before we leave.”
“It will.”
“Anyways, Jack called me. He said everyone was on their way out of there and back to the bus. They want to get to the rooms and sleep… or in the case of Zack and Rian, get some.” He smiled.
“Nothing for Jack?” I asked.
“Nah, he said they were better off friends.”
“Well at last he made a friend on his trip here.”
“Maybe later they can get something going.” Alex added thoughtfully before taking me into the back.
There we sat down and joined the conversation of our friends and Alex cracked open a beer that we shared.
“First of the year.” He smiled.