Sometimes Resisting Is Easier Than Giving In

“What are you doing tomorrow anyways?” Courtney asked.
The fumes from the nail polish were starting to get to my head and I made her stop for a moment so I could go open her window.
“Nothing, hanging out with Zack for a little. He wanted to have some time to hang out with me before he left. He said we hadn’t had much time to hang… I think he has something he wants to talk about.”
“Oh, yea? Do you think it would be the kind of thing where he’d only tell you, or is it something that he just wants to talk about with anyone?”
“I think it’s just for me. He made it seem that way anyways. He didn’t want Alex to know that we were going to hang out tomorrow…”
“So what do you think that means then?” She asked getting more curious.
She looked up at me and I could see something in her eyes… something that wasn’t quiet right. Jealousy?
“I think he’s got something on his mind and needs to talk to me about it. It’s nothing like he’s going to ask me on a date. There’s no way that one would happen. Everyone pretty much thinks that Alex and I are dating and just aren’t telling anyone.”
“Oh, okay. Well it does seem that way, with you and Alex I mean.
“We’re not dating. I swear we’re not. We’re just really close friends.”
“We’re really close friends right?”
She was still looking up at me. Oh God I thought. I hope she doesn’t hit me with anything heavy, like she’s leaving.
“Yea, close as can be.”
“So how come you and I don’t have a relationship like yours and Alex’s?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well you two are always making out and going off alone together.”
“Do you want to make out with me? I mean it’d put me off a little but I’d get over it.” I joked, relieved at where the conversation had gone.
“No! Haha! I was just trying to get at why everyone thinks you two are dating.”
“Yea, I get why everyone thinks that. I suppose we do have something that would be considered more than ‘friends’ but I can’t date him. I just can’t.”
“Why not? He’s cute as hell and he’d be an awesome boyfriend. I mean think about how supportive of you he is now and then think of how he’d be if you two were an item.”
“I have, many times. I’m not going to lie I’m into him, maybe not as much as he is to me, but we just can’t date.”
“You still haven’t answered why.” She said looking down and starting up painting again.
She was almost done with my left hand. I sighed and started playing with my hair in her mirror. Maybe I could let her trim it up a bit.
“It’ll sound so dumb out loud but it’s fine in my head, and logical. When it’s been spoken it’s going to sound so dumb you’ll laugh at me.”
She stopped painting my nails and looked up at me.
“Tell me. I wont mess up your nails cuz I stopped.”
“Fan girls.” I said.
“Fan girls?”
“Yea, have you ever Googled All Time Low, come across a forum, and read their comments? They’re brutal when it comes to that band.”
“All I ever see is the ‘Omgz!! Alex is Mine Betchezzzz! And Jack too!!’ is that what you’re talking about?”
“In part, but there’s another thing…”
“Hm?”
“Remember when Alex had that girlfriend back when he was in school?”
“Yea, she was sweet. Whatever happened to her?”
“She dumped him, anyways, I guess they found out about her somehow and started trash talking her and then found her myspace and totally tore the poor girl down. I guess they thought she’d cheated on him and they were damning her for it.”
“Oh shit! That sucks… okay I get what you mean by this whole speech now.”
“You do? Good.”
“Yea, you’re afraid what they’re going to say about you.”
“More importantly I’m afraid what they’ll say and he’ll hear. Of what he’ll believe and I can’t convince him of otherwise.”
“I don’t think you’ll have that problem. Alex trusts you like no other.” She said going back to painting.
“Yea, I know.” I sighed.
She moved my finished left hand to a portable dryer she had and centered my right hand in front of her. For a while neither of us said anything. All I could do was try to find a better reason to offer Courtney other than fan girls; I mean that wasn’t really any big deal. There was something else but that would sound really dumb. Then again she might understand it better than anyone I know.
“Can I ask you something?” Courtney asked not looking up.
“You just did.” I smiled.
“Okay, well I have another question.” She said.
“Ask away.”
“Do you think that if Alex was just Alexander and not a singer for a band, that’s blown up and has legions of fan girls and all that stuff, that you could fall in love with him?”
I hesitated. If I said no she’d ask why. If I said yes she’s try to convince me to date him and give me all the reasons why. If I said no, and she asked I could always just refuse to answer her.
“I don’t know.” I played it safe.
“You just said you were into him.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be able to fall in love. We could find out that we hate each other.”
That one she laughed at.
“I would pay to see the day when you and Alex hated each other, though I think it would be a waste of money.”
“Why would it be a waste?”
“That day will never come. He loves you and we can all see it. Just you can’t.”
“He does not love me. Not in a romantic way.”
“Yea, he does.”
“Sure.”
Courtney finished my hand up and I thought about that weird look she was giving me earlier when I was talking about Zack. Maybe she didn’t realize that she was doing it. I didn’t think she meant it anyway.
With out saying anything Courtney placed my right hand in the dryer with my left and then started piecing though my hair with her fingers.
“You should at least let me trim this up, there’s split ends everywhere.”
“I know, it’s pretty bad huh?”
“Yea, what did you do?”
“Nothing, it’s just been a long time since I got my hair cut last.”
“Can I put all the layers back into it like how it used to be? Remember how pretty it looked curly? I wish my hair did that. Its just boring old straight.” She said pulling on a lock of her own hair while still playing with mine.
“Yea, go ahead.” I said thinking about it.
“Yay!!” She jumped for a second clapping her hands. “Follow me.”
I followed Courtney out of her room and into the bathroom. She sat me down on the closed lid of the toilet and went off to get what she needed. Her mom walked by.
“Hey Ms. Ashman. How’s it going?” I said.
“It’s good. How about for you Emmy?”
“I’m a little worried. Courtney’s cutting my hair and I think she’s going to try to get me to let her dye it.”
“Oh, well just be careful with the dye if you do. I don’t want it all over my nice towels.”
“Oh hi Mom!” I heard Courtney say as she came back down the hall.
“Be careful.” Ms. Ashman said as she continued on to her room.
Courtney came in and plugged a flat iron and a blow dryer into the wall. She set some folded towels down and then grabbed the shampoo and conditioner out of the shower.
“Ready?” She asked.
“Yep.”
“Okay, sit by the tub so I can wash your hair first.”
I sat down against the wall of the tub. Courtney placed a towel behind my head so I could lean it back. She grabbed the detachable shower head and turned it on. Thankfully she waited for it to get warm before she started.
It was rather enjoyable to have someone wash my hair. Even though she was close to my face while she did it, it still felt good. When she was done she rung out my hair and towel dried it. I got up and sat back on the closed toilet. Courtney picked up some flat iron lotion and rubbed it though my hair, making it smell all orangey. Then she got out a brush and picked up the blow dryer.
She flipped the switch and it came roaring to life. She went to work on drying my hair. At times she stayed in one spot too long and it start to burn but she moved before I could get a word in over the roar of the blow dryer. It took her a while to be satisfied. She wanted to get everything dried before straightening.
As she straightened little bits of steam came off the flat iron from the oils that she put in my hair to protect it. She was quick at this part.
Before she went any further she put two towels around me to keep the little hairs from getting in my clothes. She started to work on putting my layers in and keeping my hair as long as possible at the same time. This part took the longest but when it was over she evened out the bottom of my hair and I was done. To get rid of any tiny bits of hair, she went through it once more with the blow dryer.
“You sure I can’t dye it today?” She pleaded.
“Not today, maybe a few weeks.”
“Why then?”
“I need to think about it.”
“Oh, okay.”
I got up and tried to get as much hair as possible to land on the towels that she’d laid on the floor before checking my hair out in the mirror. I moved it this way and that and picked up some style wax to get it to do what I wanted.
“It looks good. Thanks. How much do I owe you?”
“A ride to the show is all I need.”
“Okay. Hey what was that look about before?”
“What look?” Courtney asked while picking up the towels full of hair.
“When I was talking about Zack, you looked… jealous.”
“Oh, I did?” She sounded like she was hiding something.
I thought and thought about it. She left to clean the towels off and I put the flat iron and blow dryer away.
She came back into the bathroom and played with her own hair a bit.
“Do you like Zack?” I asked folding my arms and leaning against the wall behind her.
“No.” She said it like she was trying to hard, it was over exaggerated.
“You so do!” I could tell from the way she acted.
“No.”
“Yes you do!”
“Fine, maybe a little.”
“You should ask him out. He wants a girl you know. He’s looking.”
“I know, I just haven’t got the nerve. Besides I don’t even know if he considers me a friend. I’ve hung out with him only when you were there.”
“So tell him you want to get to know him better and maybe it’ll turn into a date. He likes it when girls approach him you know.”
“He does?”
“Yep, and try not to stare at him so much when he works out.” I added in thinking of that one day.
“Oh, that day.” She blushed.
“Yea, Jack was convinced that you’d never seen a guy with his shirt off before. I knew better.”
“You’re a girl, Jack’s not.”
“Well…”
She laughed.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. Jack is a boy. I know, he flashes everyone.”
“Yea, that was how I met him. I was with you and Alex and he walked in with nothing on and acted all normal.”
“Yep, that’s Jack.” I agreed remembering.
To pass the time until the show at seven Courtney and I decided to go to the park. She wanted to get pictures of my new hair so that she could bring them in to class with her to show that she’d been practicing and to get an opinion. Plus it was an excuse for us to have a photo shoot.
Courtney hung her Nikon around her neck and we told her mom where we were going before hopping into my car. She popped in a CD I hadn’t seen her bring with her and before I knew it All Time Low was blasting though the speakers and she was singing along.
I turned it down for a second and looked at her.
“What? I want to make sure I know all the words for the show tonight. You know we’re going to push to the front right?” She said turning up the volume again.
“Oh, we are?” I shouted over the music.
I stopped at a stoplight.
“Yep, we’re going to the front and we’re going to shout the lyrics back at them as loud and as obnoxiously as possible just for some laughs.”
“And to loose our voices.” I said turning it down just a little bit.
Courtney left it but continued on singing. She was on the choir in school and often had solo parts because she had such a great voice. The teacher was in love with her voice. I was in choir with her last year and I had a few solo parts but didn’t like them as much. I hated concerts because every one would stare at me when I sang. I could never do what Alex does, but he loves it. That’s the difference.
The park didn’t take long to get to and Courtney was still singing at the top of her lungs when we got out of the car. She started snapping a few pictures while I was walking. I covered my face and hid from her. She got the idea and stopped.
“Where do you want to take pictures first?” I asked.
“Swings. I like swing pictures.”
“Okay.”
I made my way through the sand to the swings and picked one to sit on. Courtney started walking around me, trying to decide where to start. I swung back and fourth idly not really thinking about anything other than Alex and I this morning and that whole make out.
“Okay, I got it.” Courtney said and started taking pictures of me.
I knew by now that she didn’t want me to do anything but what I would do without her there because that was her favorite way to take pictures and they came out the best that way.
“Okay, slide now.” She said walking off that way and flipping though the photos she had.
I looked over she shoulder and saw a picture of Zack working out. I laughed.
“What?” She asked letting the camera hang.
“Your pictures of Zack.”
“Oh, that.” She blushed.
“You got more?” I asked.
“Of course. This was when we were hanging out with them last.” She said picking the camera back up and showing me.
There was a total of about seven pictures of Zack working out, three of his face when he was just playing with his bass, and one of him smiling into her camera. There were pictures of everyone that was there. They had a little audience for practice the other day.
When she had finished showing me all the pictures in her camera we started on pictures on the slide. These were now just for fun. Theses would be the ones that we’d probably put up on our respective myspaces like the picture addicts we were.
I switched places with her and took some pictures and then she started to play with the self-timer so that we could be in pictures together.
Eventually we tired of that and went back to her place. We watched re-runs of scrubs and her mom invited me to stay for dinner. I was fine with that since my parents were probably fighting now anyways and thought that I was house sitting for Alex and Rian by now. They knew that their tour started today but didn’t know that this was a home show and that they were leaving tomorrow night, so I was spending the night with Alex and Rian.
After dinner we went back to the TV and she put in a movie. We made popcorn and watched it with her mom. I didn’t get to see much of the movie because Alex kept texting me to see what I was doing. I answered him the same every time ‘I’m watching a movie with Courtney.’ Then he’d text again in ten or so minutes and ask. Eventually I got annoyed and told him I wasn’t going to talk to him if he kept asking me the same thing. He stopped after that.
At seven thirty we left Courtney’s house and drove to the venue. Doors were open when we got there and there was a line. Alex had told me that Jack had put Courtney and I on a list so we could just walk up to the door and tell them our names in order to get in.