Even Deeper

Liz's POV

For the first time in my life, I felt free as everything flew up towards the clear sky as I went down. I landed with a huge thud on the hard dirt ground on my legs, as though my freedom ended with a halt. I opened my eyes, feeling dizzy, feeling numb to everything around me. I felt like I was outside of my body, helpless and unable to move. I closed my eyes again, wondering what to do next. I heard people rush over to me when they saw my body lay still. Fingers prodded my back as I rolled over slowly and started laughing uncontrollably. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes quickly, without breaking the laughter. I felt the blood pour out of my nose, knowing my face didn't break that fall.

I woke up from a dream about my first experience on cocaine and I dove off a cliff that same day. I realized I was on the ground, and that it was night time. I heard laughing from behind me, which made me jump.

"I haven't had a falling dream since I was ten." Trent started laughing and shaking his head. He extended a long muscular arm, helping me up off the ground. I just shook my head and adjusted my wrinkled clothes, feeling slightly embarrassed and groggy.

"How long was I sleeping?" I changed the subject, with a smile on my face.
"You passed out after lunch. But we're here." Trent said. "You must honestly never sleep."
I thought about what he said, realizing he was right.
"Okay, so how long is this stupid concert going to be?" I asked him, wondering what I can do while in the bus.
"As long as I want. And besides, you're going in there." Trent grinned.
"Ugh, as much as I'd love to see men in tight leather pants with their ball sacs exposing, I'm not in the mood. I could catch up on how those crazy kids on that one show are doing.." I made up a lame excuse. I just wanted to relax and think about my life, and possibly snort another line. That dream brought back so many good memories I had, making me miss the life I once had and left behind.

"You're full of shit. Come on Liz, it will be a good time." Trent grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. Of course, all of the band members were outside goggling the two of us. Before they would say anything, I stopped them.
"Yes, Trent's dick is small and it was a lousy time. I mean, come on guys, what did you expect?" I gave Trent a fake glare as I walked by them, pretending to be mad that he was making me go see the concert. I heard the guys laugh, including Trent who gave me a strange wink. I rolled my eyes at him, in a joking and partially loving way. I kept walking, and walked out of the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around, facing Trent.

"What." I gave him a fake angry look.
"Don't forget this." He said, and held out a lanyard and a ticket. I looked at the lanyard and saw a backstage pass attached to it, along with a ticket for the front row for tonight's show.
"I wonder how many bitches I can make fight for these." I winked and continued to walk away.

After a few songs into Nine Inch Nail's set, I was pretty pumped and actually enjoying myself. I couldn't help but admit to myself how gorgeous Trent looked. He wore a tight black shirt with black jeans that fit him just perfectly. The other guys looked good too, but Trent was right there in front of me. I noticed he would glance at me every now and then, but hid it. Besides the sweaty atmosphere and people obnoxiously singing along to "The Hand That Feeds", it was a feeling I missed. I remembered going to random shows back in the day, and I'm glad I agreed to going. I felt someone tap my shoulder. Thinking it was someone who wanted my spot, I was about to turn around and tell them off. But once I turned my head, my eyes met the cold blue eyes of someone who was not a stranger to me.

"Holy shit, Lizzy, it's been awhile." The skinny arms of my ex Joe hugged me tightly. For being so skinny, I was surprised by his strength. He was one of the winners I dated, a big junkie. He cheated on me several times, but I made the stupid mistake of coming back for more. Besides, he was always loaded up with drugs. I looked up at the stage and saw Trent staring down at me.
"Yes, I know. Go to jail yet?" I made a remark, not wanting to talk to him mostly. Joe just laughed and held me tighter, noticing my gaze at Trent.
"Still got your cute humor. Anyway, I got some good shit back in my hotel room. How about we pick up where we left off?" He asked. I shook my head in amazement and disgust. Joe has always had a way of finding my whereabouts, and I really wasn't about to fall into the trap again. I wanted to cut out everyone in my past, and I had to start now.
"No thanks." I said calmly, trying to get back into the music.

Trent noticed the look on my face and gave me a sad look. I heard the music slowly change and grew soft. I recognized the song from that concert many years ago, and it made me cry. I wasn't sure what it was called, but the lyrics were just sad.
"I just want something I can never have.." I heard his beautiful voice sing, as I tried to block out Joe's voice.
"Come on Lizzie. Stop acting like you don't care." He said. I looked at him and gave him a stare look. He looked like he was about to shit a brick. He wasn't even expecting it.
"How is this for acting?" I asked and pushed my way out of the crowd. I didn't want him to follow me back into the bus, so I showed one of the bouncers my backstage pass and got there with no problem. I heard someone say something about a final song, but I ignored it. I sat on one of the leather couches, scanning the room for any type of drug or substance. Giving up, I lit up a cigarette. I started thinking and wondering if I made a good choice when it came to Joe. I heard footsteps behind me as people were screaming and clapping from outside. I turned my head to see Trent.

"So, I'm glad you didn't give up this very rare backstage pass." Trent smirked. I nodded my head as he plopped down next to me. Even though he was very sweaty, he still looked amazing.
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to ruin my pretty face by having bitches punch me out for it." I laughed. "So where are the other guys?"
"They'll be in, in a minute." Trent said, glancing in the direction of the stage, and then back at me. "So who was that guy?"
"A remainder of my past." I said. "Don't worry about it, it's done with."

I realized how wrong that came out, like Trent and I were dating or something. But Trent seemed to understand and nodded his head.
"You don't need people like that in your life. I don't know what was said or done, but he seemed like an asshole." Trent said. I nodded my head slowly feeling sad and confused, yet craving some cocaine to make me forget, and Trent reached over and grabbed my hand. I noticed it was very warm, and a smile slowly creeped onto my face.
"Come on..you'll get to experience your first after-party to a rock concert." He grinned.
"But I heard you aren't much of a partier." I winked, feeling glad that there might possibly be some alcohol at this party.
"I'm still the life of the party." Trent said, and we both laughed together, walking out, not even realizing we were still hand in hand.