For Ever And Always
Disaster
I didn't knew what to answer. What could I tell him?
-"what time is it?" I asked , trying to draw all the attention away from me.
-"About 3:30. How are you feeling? he said rubbing slightly my ribcage.
Shit, it hurt like hell but I couldn't tell him that because he will get worried.
_"I'm okay, it doesn't hurt that much" I lied
He hugged me and said:
_"Gee, I have to go to work, is it okay?
I nodded and he left.
I was left alone in my bedroom, remembering my dream and wishing someday it will turn into a reality, though I knew that would never happen.
I peaked out of my bedroom, checking if my father was home. When I was sure he wasn't I grabbed some of his money and my keys and left the house. I walked slowly, not going to anywhere in particular, I just needed to walk and clear my mind. Then the idea hit my mind, I wanted some drugs, or alcohol, anything to get me numbed up so I would stop feeling so fucked. I tried to stop, to make myself stop drugging, but the voices in my head were stronger than I was, so I loose the fight and got in my way to buy drugs.
I walked into the dark alley where my drug dealer usually was, when I found him I bought a fucking lot of cocaine and left. On my way home I bought some cheap alcohol too.
When I got home I locked myself in my bedroom and drank half of the bottle before I started inhaling cocaine. In a few minutes I was drunk and high. All the nasty feeling I felt slowly faded away, living me alone with all the amazing sights, colors and sounds my drugs produced. Everything was wonderful until the drug effect shut down slowly, leaving me again in the real world, which was full of pain and fear for me.
I was a fucking drug addict! Mikey would never love me like this! I hated myself, I just wanted to die. I took out the razor-blade I hid in between my books and cut myself five time in each arm, feeling calm and peace emerging from each of the bleeding wounds.
I was a disaster laying in my bedroom's floor: my bloodshot eyes from cocaine, a hell of a headache from the alcohol and blood-stained by all the cuts in my arms.
This was how my life was; I was a fucking fucked-up.
-"what time is it?" I asked , trying to draw all the attention away from me.
-"About 3:30. How are you feeling? he said rubbing slightly my ribcage.
Shit, it hurt like hell but I couldn't tell him that because he will get worried.
_"I'm okay, it doesn't hurt that much" I lied
He hugged me and said:
_"Gee, I have to go to work, is it okay?
I nodded and he left.
I was left alone in my bedroom, remembering my dream and wishing someday it will turn into a reality, though I knew that would never happen.
I peaked out of my bedroom, checking if my father was home. When I was sure he wasn't I grabbed some of his money and my keys and left the house. I walked slowly, not going to anywhere in particular, I just needed to walk and clear my mind. Then the idea hit my mind, I wanted some drugs, or alcohol, anything to get me numbed up so I would stop feeling so fucked. I tried to stop, to make myself stop drugging, but the voices in my head were stronger than I was, so I loose the fight and got in my way to buy drugs.
I walked into the dark alley where my drug dealer usually was, when I found him I bought a fucking lot of cocaine and left. On my way home I bought some cheap alcohol too.
When I got home I locked myself in my bedroom and drank half of the bottle before I started inhaling cocaine. In a few minutes I was drunk and high. All the nasty feeling I felt slowly faded away, living me alone with all the amazing sights, colors and sounds my drugs produced. Everything was wonderful until the drug effect shut down slowly, leaving me again in the real world, which was full of pain and fear for me.
I was a fucking drug addict! Mikey would never love me like this! I hated myself, I just wanted to die. I took out the razor-blade I hid in between my books and cut myself five time in each arm, feeling calm and peace emerging from each of the bleeding wounds.
I was a disaster laying in my bedroom's floor: my bloodshot eyes from cocaine, a hell of a headache from the alcohol and blood-stained by all the cuts in my arms.
This was how my life was; I was a fucking fucked-up.
♠ ♠ ♠
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