Beyond the World

A pair of hazel eyes stared back at the man beside Heidi. “What are you doing here?”

“Gordon,” the man said, standing up immediately, shocked to find someone else here. “I was just—”

“Who let you in?” Gordon stepped into the room, his hand still on the door, stopping it from closing. On his back was a guitar case.

Jörg sighed, clenching his fist. “Simone,” he said after some hesitation.

“Simone is here?” Gordon asked, surprised. His frown remained. “Where is she?”

Jörg sighed again and went past him and out of the room, looking around. When he saw no one but a few nurses passing him by, he came back into the room. “What are you doing here?” He asked.

Gordon didn’t pry further, knowing Jörg wouldn’t even be allowed here since it was a private wing. He knew his wife would have agreed to let Jörg visit Heidi. The only thing he wondered was why Simone did so, knowing their sons wouldn’t be too pleased with it.

“I come here whenever I can,” Gordon replied, running his fingers through his messy black hair as he went over to the chair. “The doctor said that with more interaction, Heidi could wake up faster.”

Jörg managed a smile that came naturally upon hearing that. “I see,” he said, trying to be as polite as possible seeing how he was the stranger in this situation.

The next moment, the door opened and in stepped Simone. Her eyes widened when she saw Gordon in the room, taking out his guitar. “Gordon?” she said, her mouth slightly agape. “What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be at the—”

Gordon hardly glanced at his wife as he put his guitar case away. “It was cancelled.”

Jörg felt uneasy being in the middle of the tension. “I’m sorry if I’m in the middle of things,” he started, hands in his pocket. “Maybe I should leave now.”

“I’m glad you understand,” Gordon said indifferently, tuning his guitar briefly, strumming every once in a while to make sure it sounded pitch perfect.

Simone sighed and rolled her eyes. “Can you stop that?” She stormed over to her husband. “He’s here to see his son’s fiancée, okay? What’s wrong with that?”

“You know that if Tom could, he would personally put up a barrier to prevent people like him from entering,” Gordon replied sarcastically. And then he stared up at Jörg, who was eyeing him uncomfortably. “It’s not about us, Jörg, I hope you understand that. It’s about Tom. It’s about the boys. Don’t you remember what happened? Have you forgotten?”

“Stop it,” Simone glared at Gordon, her light brown eyes showing her displease. She tried not to dwell too much on what happened three years back, before Tom met Heidi again. “What the boys don’t know won’t hurt them.”
Gordon eyed his wife in surprise. “Simone, how can you say that?”

Jörg noticed the tension increasing. He shamefully recalled three years back when the boys were merely going on eighteen years of age. Simone had finally persuaded Tom and Bill to invite him to their birthday, and they finally did it for their mother.

A brief reunion occurred during the twins’ eighteenth, but it ended up horribly wrong when Jörg had too much alcohol. He caused a scene during the party, unintentionally embarrassing Simone and the twins with what he said under the influence of alcohol.

It was obvious he never properly got over his destructive drinking habits, making the twins reaffirm their negative impression of their biological father. Hurtfully, he remembered how they shouted at him, telling him they never wanted to see him again.

“I’ll leave, now,” Jörg stated firmly before turning to exit the room. He concealed his pain well enough from Gordon.

“Jörg!” Simone groaned slightly under her breath, her chase stopping at the door as her ex-husband disappeared around the corner. She stopped and turned to face Gordon. “That was really unnecessary.”

“I told you,” Gordon said. “It’s not about us anymore. They don’t like him at all, and you’re bringing him around to let him see Heidi? I’m sure she wouldn’t even want to see him!”

“Heidi is not like that,” Simone defended the girl. “She’s very forgiving. Tom and Bill, they just need time to get over what happened.”

“They only have you at heart, Simi,” the man looked at his wife thoughtfully. “They care so much about you. It was obvious they were more concerned about you than what that man said about them! Drunk or not, they hate him. They don’t like his new family, they don’t want anything to do with him because they know you’ve went through enough for him.”

“Gordon!” Simone cried. “I don’t care about his daughter, I don’t care about his wife, I don’t care what he’s doing and I don’t care what happened. He’s sobered up, but now it’s not about us, is it? It’s about her. He deserves to see Heidi at least once. You don’t know how much I regret not letting him see Markus before he died and now, I want him to see her, to see the girl Tom chose. It’s not hurting anyone, is it?”

Gordon kept quiet, putting his guitar down as he considered things. “I know,” he gritted his teeth, ruffling his hair a bit. He stood up and went over to Simone, hugging her. “I’m sorry.”

“He really wants to see Nikole,” Simone whispered into Gordon’s ear, embracing him back.

“We’ll let Tom decide that one, okay?” He rubbed her back.

“Just don’t tell him about it yet,” Simone said softly. Gordon released her and sat back down as Simone went over to take her cup of coffee.

The middle-aged couple sat down as Gordon played a few songs for the comatose Heidi, awaiting Tom and Bill to come down again as they did daily. The next moment, Heidi's parents came to visit.

* * *

It was a little over dinner time and Tom made his way to the hospital. Everything in his life had stopped since the accident, and he had nothing to do but spend time with his daughter, family and comatose fiancée. The band was automatically on hiatus until further notice, much to the fans’ disappointment.

The tall, lean young man parked his Cadillac and went to the food court to get himself a simple lasagna and Coke before going up the elevator. In his usual baggy attire, he made his way to the room where Heidi lay unconscious.

Upon nearing the room, he heard voices. Simone was in there for sure, and there was Nikole’s laughter, but he heard more voices. It couldn’t be Heidi, could it? Taking a deep breath, he went in with a downturn of the metal door handle.

Simone’s gaze immediately landed on her son. “Tom!” She smiled just as a shriek was produced from her granddaughter. Tom saw that Nikole was in the arms of a young woman, and they were smiling at each other happily while two other women looked on.

Tom instantly brightened when his mother went over to embrace him. Seeing Maria there, he was even more pleased. His smile faded when he realized Heidi was still asleep, much to his disheartenment. However, he went over to hug Maria.

“Hello, Tom,” an older woman with grey hair said. She looked typically like a preschool teacher, and he finally recognized her.

“Frau Aleff,” Tom nodded with a renewed smile. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“We finally found time off after a busy schedule,” the headmaster of Markus’ kindergarten said warmly. “I hadn’t had the chance to talk to you that day at the funeral, but I’m extremely sorry for your loss.”

She went over to Tom and they hugged briefly, as a mother would her son. Simone watched in silence, observing her son’s steadfast restraint.

“Thank you,” Tom choked out awkwardly, nodding as he pulled away. He put down his bag and noticed the other two women. One was much younger than all the others in the room, someone around his age.

“Julie,” Tom looked at the other woman, the cook whom he started out on the wrong foot with when they first met.

Julie smiled, her slightly yellowed set of teeth showing. “Nice to see you after so long,” she said, pulling him spontaneously into a hug. “You’re a good boy, Tom. Good boy. Be strong.”

“Thank you,” Tom said, again. And his eyes landed on the last, a very young woman who was similar to Heidi’s age. He didn’t know what to say, since he didn’t know her.

“Isabel Kuhnert,” the copper-colored woman said as she offered a hand politely, the other holding Nikole safely. “I’m Markus’ teacher.”

“Were,” Tom mumbled, gritting his teeth slightly before he tried to regain his composure. She must have been one of the last persons who saw him that day. The other three women watched awkwardly as he continued, but a twitchy smile emerged. “I’m sorry. It’s… I just… I’m sorry. I’m Tom.”

“I’m sorry,” Isabel said. “If there’s anything you need, you can look for me.”

“Thank you,” Tom said, nodding. Thinking about he, he never really knew what Markus was like in his last year in school. “Thanks for coming.” He looked at everyone there before setting his backpack down on the mobile counter.

“Tom,” Maria said. “I have to go now. Call me if anything comes up, okay?”

Tom nodded, and Maria exchanged friendly kisses on the cheek with him and Simone and waved to the others before leaving.

Isabel went over to Tom. “Here,” she said. Tom gladly took back his daughter from the woman. “She’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Tom smiled at the comment.

“She looks just like Heidi,” she added, beaming when a carefree and innocent Nikole cheerfully touched her father’s face, as if greeting him.

Tom nodded, “Yes, and I think I said ‘thank you’ too many times today, but thanks.” He eyed Isabel briefly and smiled as he kissed Nikole’s cheek and inhaled her baby shampoo scent from atop her head of soft blonde curls.
The older women gave soft laughs and watched in silent adoration as Tom played with his daughter.

Julie and Frau Aleff were entirely impressed with his maturity. They doubted his ability at first when they heard of Heidi’s reunion with him, but they were apparently proven wrong. Isabel had never seen Tom in person before, but she knew of him. She was also Heidi’s closest friend at the school since they were of similar age.

There was along moment of quietude as Tom put Nikole on the table, rubbing her stomach and tickling her, entertaining her for a while. Seeing her smile made the women smile.

“Has she eaten yet, ma?” Tom inquired, eyes directed at Simone.

“I gave her some mashed potatoes before we came here,” she informed. “I think she’s hungry.”

Tom gave a low sigh when he realized something else. “I smell it,” he murmured, carrying Nikole up. The baby girl was staring straight at her father with big brown eyes.

“Smell what?” Simone asked. The rest looked on curiously.

“Hmm,” Tom crossed his arms at the girl. “Did you poo-poo?”

Nikole broke into a slight smile as she held her hands at mid-air as soon as Tom released her grip on her.

“Tom, don’t just leave her there like that,” Simone reminded him.

“Did you poo-poo, baby?” He leaned in at his daughter, his nose touching hers lightly as he gave a smile. The baby grinned even wider, trying to grab a hold of her father but he just teased her, gently holding her back so she wouldn’t fall off the counter. “So daddy has to clean you up, right? Daddy has to clean you up?”

The thick smell of Nikole’s accident invaded the noses of everyone else there.

“Aww,” Frau Aleff grinned. “That sure smells like mashed potatoes.”

Isabel and Julie laughed. Simone went over to the baby bag and took it with her as she went to Tom. “Here,” she said, passing him the light pink bag.

“Thanks, for the millionth time,” Tom smiled as he scooped his daughter up. He looked at the rest. “Um, if you guys could wait a little longer, we could go down for dinner.”

“Sure,” Julie said. “I’m hungry.”

“We’ll wait,” Isabel said. “Would you like me to help, Tom? You can sit here and . . . talk to Heidi first.”

Tom appreciated Isabel’s thoughtfulness, but hesitated. “It’s okay,” he said. “I can do this.”

“Are you sure?” Julie teased him. Everyone chuckled, including Tom.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he said. “If you want, Isabel can check up on me. I’m sure I haven’t forgotten how to clean my daughter.”

“Hurry up,” Simone smiled at her son. Isabel went with Tom to the private toilet that was at the side of the room.

“Close the door,” Frau Aleff said, pinching her nose. “This one’s really strong, isn’t it?”

Julie gave a hearty laugh. “Very strong.”

Simone smiled and sat with her son’s fiancée. “You see, Tom really can’t do without you,” she said to her, wiping her face with a warm, wet towel.

* * *

It was a few days after in the middle of the night. Nikole was asleep alongside Tom on his main bed, one he used to share with Heidi.

He felt uncomfortably warm for a while, and he sat up suddenly, wiping the sweat off his neck and he decided to tie his dreads up before going to the kitchen to take a drink of water.

When he splashed his face with some cold water, he went back to his bed and unexpectedly, his phone started to ring. It was an unknown number, and Tom almost didn’t want to pick it up for fear it was some fan who had found his number, like a few times before.

He hesitated for too long, and the call ended. He went back to his bed and put his head on the pillow as he turned to his side. Then, his phone started to ring again. Hesitantly, he picked it up. “Hello?”

“Herr Kaulitz?” An urgent female voice inquired. “This is the head nurse, Sylvia Ulrich.”

Tom’s eyes widened. “Yes?” his voice shook, his heart racing.

“Heidi is showing response! She cried just a while ago! The doctor is with her now and I think there is some more response. You should come down here!”

The young man’s breath hitched as he shakily answered, “Yes, God. Yes, I’m coming right now!”

Tom abruptly hung up and grabbed his jeans, hopping into it and almost tripping over in the dark. He landed on his bed, and hurried his dressing before scooping his sleeping daughter up carefully before making his way out.