Beyond the World

Time stretched in between the twins as their minds rapidly tried to comprehend what had happened before them. Bill had not noticed but Tom had a tear rolling down the other side of his cheek. Without taking a single glance at his older brother, the younger took a deep breath and sighed shakily, his gaze casted downwards towards the little bits and pieces of the bathroom mirror by the sink.

“Goodnight, Tom,” Bill breathed, sucking in at his teeth. He turned away when he finished speaking, seeing he had nothing left to say. Second-guessing his own action, he finally decided to leave his brother be.

Tom took a few steps back, landing himself on the edges of the bathtub. His large hands gripped the cold ceramic hard, not knowing when he would let go while his mind tried to grab a hold of the consequences of his actions. However, his wandering mind placed him before the beautiful image of the sweet, young blonde he would never have the chance to call his wife. Wordlessly, Tom started to weep. It seemed that after not being able to cry for the past twenty-four hours, he finally could not take it anymore.

Images of what had been and what could have been flashed through his mind, and it hurt him more with each passing second. In a few hours, he would have to go to Maria’s house for the wake, and he knew he had to be there. He had to straighten up, and he could not risk losing the only thing he had left from this relationship—Nikole. No one could take her away from him, not even Heidi’s parents.

Breaking him from his train of thought for a split moment was the ringing of the doorbell. He recalled that Bill had ordered pizza but he was not going down to join his brother. Forcing himself up from the bathtub, Tom went to the sink and looked it over before leaving the bathroom. There was no way he was going to clean up that mess. He settled himself onto his large and empty bed and faced the ceiling. The darkness around engulfed him, making the young and lonely man pull the sheets around him closer on that unusually cold night. Never before did he feel so alone. Once again, it was a night without Heidi. It was a night that was going to replicate itself for a very long while.

* * *

Sparkling, clear water lapped lazily at the edge before a lanky young man with a beautiful, tanned body. He looked down to see his feet digging into white sands that blinded him as he walked along the coastline. His gaze faltered for a split second before it hazily refocused onto his hands. As his eyes were directed upwards, he realized he was holding onto someone. Someone was holding onto him.

Her prepossessing face struck him, and it beamed with such radiance that was incomparable to all light surrounding him that very moment. It seemed that nothing was in their way as they watched the sun set together, the woman of his life in his strong arms. His butterfly kisses sent shivers down her neck, and the fresh scent of flower in her golden curls combined with the suppleness of her skin drove him over the edge. Stunning kaleidoscopes of warm colors infused a renewed sense of love and belonging altogether, making the young couple stare out far and wide beyond the world in utter bliss. There was never a time a more perfect moment . . . until the blonde pulled away despite her bright blue eyes staring back into his chocolate browns with unexplained contentment.

Wordlessly, she left his arms. He made no effort to call her back, simply watching in confusion as she dipped her toes into the warm water. It was as if the sea was calling out to her, the way she so gracefully let it engulf her up to her thighs without hesitation. The young woman’s smile never faded as she went deeper into the water. His eyes never left her even as she was reduced to a mere silhouette. The sea breeze and everything else around him was calming but nothing at all about her leaving him was.

Tom coughed himself awake, a prominent frown on his face. He rubbed his eyes and found they were slightly wet and realized he had wept during his sleep. Then again, he coughed, covering his nose and mouth after he inhaled an unpleasant smell. He looked around and saw that no one was in the room but there was the strongest reminiscence of the sea. The muskiness clogged his breathing and he felt that he could throw up right away. He shot upright and dry-heaved once before finding that he was sweating. How could the room smell just like his dream? There was even that faint scent from that flower that he remembered so vividly that was . . . on her hair. It was so lifelike and it scared him.

The room was slightly lit and the young man pushed himself off the bed, wiping his face as he sat on the edge tiredly. He really needed to gag. The unusual seaside musk was consuming him. Fumbling to the bathroom, he lifted the toilet lid and bent over while his black cornrows fell over his shoulders, merely coughing out bodily acid. It was no surprise since he barely had anything to eat within the past twenty-four hours.

From behind him, the door opened and Simone stepped into the bathroom. Her brown eyes widened with shock when she saw what her older son was doing. Quickly, she went to his side and patted at his back while holding back his locks of hair for him.

“God, Tom,” Simone gasped, her voice laced with panic. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Tom shook his head as tears streamed obliviously down his face alongside beads of perspiration. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he muttered, “I can’t—the smell—”

“What smell?” Simone exclaimed, beating at Tom’s back some more until he gave one final spit before sitting on the edge of the bathtub. “You mean the ocean breeze air freshener?”

“The wha—?”

Simone shook her head vigorously before explaining while she gave Tom a glass of water to gargle his mouth, “It’s mine. I haven’t really used it lately. Nikole was in here with me this morning when I was cleaning up the broken mirror and she did it so it left a smell. I . . . I just grabbed my freshener and sprayed a couple of times here and there. Why? You don’t like it?”

There was no response from Tom as he buried his face in his hands. Simone quickly flushed down whatever that was in the toilet bowl before placing her hands on Tom’s face. Tom looked up at his mother with dreary eyes and the woman could feel his pain.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know you were . . . allergic to it. I just thought of using that instead of your cologne—”

“It’s nothing,” Tom cut her off with a mumble. He tried to look down but her hands were firmly holding his gaze. He was not prepared to talk to Simone about his acquainted dream.

The woman pressed her lips against her son’s forehead and squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. Tom did not expect Simone of all people to say that sentence. However, he accepted it. “I love you, Tom. You know that.”

“I know,” Tom murmured, his crying ceasing as his mother wiped the tears away with her thumbs.
For what seemed like a long while as mother and son embraced, Tom had gotten used to the smell. He decided to keep his dream a secret after he concluded it was ignited by the new scent he detected in his sleep. It wasn’t much, anyway, since it wasn’t real and it never will be.

Clenching his jaw, he accepted the fact. Finally, he mustered up the strength to speak in a firm voice with his gaze directed straight at his mother. “We have to go to Maria’s now, don’t we?”

Simone nodded, kissing Tom’s forehead again. “Yes, we do,” she said. She took her son’s hand and led him out of the bathroom.

* * *

It was hours before Georg and Gustav were due to leave their shared apartment to attend Heidi’s wake. It was a series of somber events for everyone related to Tom and it was only normal that both of these men were affected by it. They found it hard to speak to their best friend, who had lost two of the people closest to him. It was like their routine was broken and they were only overcome by grief and sympathy.

The blond man left the kitchen with a glass of water in hand and he settled on the couch where his roommate Georg had just ended a call. “What did he want?” Gustav asked.

Georg tied his hair up in a ponytail while he spoke, “He says we’re most probably put on pause. He’s going to talk to Bill and Tom later.”

The other nodded, gulping down half of his water. “It’s so crazy,” he mumbled, holding the glass on the armrest.

“I can’t believe Tom’s taking all this at once. It’s just . . . too much for one man to handle.”

“I know,” Georg responded, one leg over the other. His downcast pale green eyes complemented his solemn look. “It’s not exactly my loss but I feel it. And it feels like shit, and I can only wonder how he’s doing right now. You know, he only replied me once.”

“I only talked to him last night for a while.”

“You did? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Gustav kept quiet, his stoic expression returning. “I forgot.”

“What did he say?” The brown-haired bassist of the band asked.

“Nothing much but thank you.”

Georg nodded. He pictured Tom sitting alone in his room, thinking of what he had with Heidi. The twenty-three-year-old could not fathom if he were to lose his future fiancée or his mother for example. He rubbed his forehead just as his phone rang. He picked it up after seeing a familiar name on the screen.

“Hey,” he said, pressing the phone to his ear. Gustav watched on indifferently.

From thousands of miles away in the fine city of Stockholm, Sweden, a charming young woman by the name of Kenza Zouiten was sitting at the breakfast table in a spacious apartment. She had the cheeriest of eyes and plumpest of lips, and she was as talented as anyone who had the ability to grace the cover of a magazine. She had her long brown-blonde hair tied up in a messy bun as she poured out her cereal. Her phone was clasped between her shoulder and face as she replied to her boyfriend.

“Morning, baby,” she said in her soft and sweet voice in English. She was not fluent in German and neither was Georg in Swedish so their conversations were mostly English.

A small smile spread over Georg’s thin lips. “Morning,” he said. “Home?”

“Yes,” Kenza said. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m only going tomorrow. I couldn’t get a ticket yesterday so I’ll see you at the . . . yeah, burial.”

Georg understood her completely. “Yes,” he said. “It’s fine. I’ll pick you up from the airport.”

“That’s great,” she replied. For a moment, the two of them stalled. Kenza found it entirely uncomfortable since she used to be teased about liking Tom as a fan. She—like the rest of the world—never knew about Tom and his little family until Nikole was born and it was then that she decided to reduce her liking for him. When she met him again at the party, she was strictly friendly. Her direction averted to Georg who showed interest in her and that was how they came to be. At present, Tom’s fiancée was gone and she hoped that it would not be awkward if she turned up.

The celebrity couple met months before at a New Year’s fan party held by the band and started seeing each other officially only recently, just before the tragedy. Kenza was a model that was balancing studying in her first year of college. It was her summer vacation, so she had the time to fly around. Her plans for Georg to fly over to live with her and explore Stockholm had been postponed due to Tom’s situation, and she was doing her part by going to Berlin to attend the funeral.

“What are you doing?” Georg asked, turning away from Gustav.

Kenza was audibly crunching on her cereal. “Eating breakfast,” she said. “I’m going to pack my things. The flight is tonight.”

“So you will reach here at?”

“Midnight,” Kenza said. “You will come at midnight to pick me?”

“Ja, I will,” Georg answered with a simple smile.

Kenza’s tone reflected a similar smile on her face. “Tell Gustav hi and I’ll see you later, okay?”

Georg said, “Okay, see you.”

Goodbyes were exchanged as both callers hung up. Georg reverted back to German and mumbled ‘okay, see you’ as he tossed his phone beside him.

“What?” Gustav asked. “Kenza?”

“She said hi. She’s reaching at midnight. I’m going to get her,” he said. He lifted his legs and laid down across the sofa with his head on the armrest. “Coming?”

Gustav raised his eyebrows. He thought about it for a while. They had no extra room, only one each and he wondered where she was going to sleep if she was staying over. “Is she getting a hotel?” He queried.

“No,” Georg gave a short scoff. “I told her she could take my bed.”

Gustav let a small smirk escape his lips. His best friend who gave him a kick in the side caught that action. “I’m sure you’re old enough to know how to keep your hands to yourself if you do share your bed with her,” he teased.

The other rolled his eyes. He thought about it if he did sleep in the same bed as his new girlfriend. She was four years his junior and they only met twice, yet she was going to stay in his apartment. If she had plans for him to go over to Stockholm, wouldn’t it be fine if she came to his place instead of put up in a hotel? He mentally disregarded Gustav’s comment and sighed. “Nice try,” he said. “She’s taking my bed and I’ll take yours while you sleep outside. That’s all.”

The blond snorted and chugged down the last of his water before putting his cup on the coffee table in front of him. At the same time, his phone rang and he took it out from his pocket to read a text message. While reading it briefly, he replied, “Very funny.”

Georg stared at his best friend with a fading smile, trying to comprehend Gustav’s facial expression that followed after reading the message. “What?” He asked, rather curious. There was no reply from Gustav as he put the phone down to stare at the other. “Who’s that?”

Gustav sighed, his attractive brown eyes casting at Georg uneasily as he made a reply, “Chanty is coming,” he said, rather touchy about the girl he used to date. “The whole crew.”

“Chanty?” Georg almost smiled. “Oh, awkward.” He was interested in what else Gustav had to say. Then, he made an ‘O’ with his lips and nodded to himself when a reason sparked in his head. Immediately, he propped himself up against the armrest and stared at the other. “Of course. They have to come.”

The thought of Chanty sent Gustav’s heart flying. It had been weeks since he last talked to her since their breakup, which happened to be the same day Georg got with Kenza. It wasn’t long that the drummer had been dating the female lead singer of a fellow German band but Gustav swore to Georg that what they had seemed promising enough to him. At least, it was what it was like then.

The first time they met at the Comet Awards rehearsals the previous year, sparks flew when Bill and the band did a duet with her. It seemed so long ago that Tom was cheekily encouraging Gustav on. He recalled his friend’s cheerful disposition, which led him to picturing Tom today. It was depressing. To add to it, Chanty, the rest of her band Fraülein Wunder and a couple of their crew were going to attend the funeral.

Running his fingers through his curly locks of sandy blond hair, Gustav gave a long sigh. “She’s talking so normally.”

“What do you mean?” Georg frowned slightly.

“She’s using smilies,” he replied, blowing at his bits of fringe covering his eye.

“She’s using smilies?” Georg looked at Gustav with raised eyebrows. He couldn’t really picture it since it was meant to be a sad topic about attending funerals but Steffy used smilies?

Gustav clicked around on his phone and showed it to Georg. Georg immediately saw an unusual smiley face that made him question, “What face is that supposed to be?”

“Modesty, I think,” Gustav said. He gave another long sigh and rubbed his face. After going his own way with Chanty, he never ever contacted her and neither did she. Her band was doing well regionally while he was in America for a while. Everything seemed normal and Gustav was trying to get over her and then she was going to enter his life again.

Georg shook his head and kicked his friend again, sighing. “Look, it was a mutual breakup so I don’t think there’s much to freak out about, you know?”

The blond man shrugged at rubbed his head before he rubbed his face. “It’s just awkward, Georg,” he huffed. “When was the last time you broke up with someone?”

“I mean, seriously; if she still likes you, do something. If not, it’s just one day and she’ll be gone the next. Nothing more. Move on. Anyway, Tom’s the focus now. I just feel we need to pay him more attention than we usually do.”

Gustav twitched, nodding as he took everything in. Georg made a lot of sense at times like these since he was always calm whatever the situation. He was mature and always provided sound advice. “Tom needs us,” Gustav mumbled.

“Exactly,” Georg played with a loose thread on his shirt before plucking it off. “After we’re sure he’s moving on, after we’re sure Bill’s helping him move on, I’ll go to Stockholm and leave you this apartment to have some fun. Bros before hos, remember?”

Gustav shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said.

The drummer found it so difficult to find someone to actually devote his love and time to. His best friend was right, and that Tom needed them now. He could devote to helping Tom instead of worrying about a past relationship. Bros before hos—they made a promise when they started Tokio Hotel that if they ever needed each other, everything else would be put aside and it included girlfriends. It helped them so far and they still held that close to their heart. Tom needed his friends and Georg and Gustav were determined to help their best friend and brother back into life.

The men stared at each other in contemplation. “Let’s get the Hell out of here,” Gustav punched the couch as he stood up.

“Yup,” Georg muttered, forcing himself up before the both of them headed to the apartment door.