Excuse The Obscene

“You have got to stop this, Toni.”

I glanced up from my spot on the bed I shared with Zacky where I was laying back and flipping through yet another meaningless magazine to see Val standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face.

I could pretend not to know what “this” was but playing innocent never got anyone anywhere with Val who had an incredibly low tolerance for bullshit. It’s been four days since Zacky and I got back from Big Bear and found out about the hit. Four days of sitting around aimlessly while Zacky and the guys went in and out, dragging bloody bodies with them. Four days of watching Zacky stew in a protective rage that not only kept me confined to this house but also kept every person who worked for him walking on needles, careful to not so much as breathe the wrong way in his presence. Four days of planning my great escape - which, coincidentally, was the reason Val was standing in my bedroom door with a look on her face that would terrify most grown men. As my best friend and partner, she’d been the first person I’d gone to to ask for help sneaking out from Zacky’s watchful presence. After a long argument where she demanded to know what could possibly be so important that I would want to run around with a 50k hit on my head I finally confessed to my uncanny obsession with Emilee Berry. The argument that followed that was even worse.

“Are you insane?” Val demanded to know, with a look on her face that clearly said she sure thought I was. “There are God knows how many hitmen out there with the idea of cashing in on your death and all you can think about is some little girl you don’t know, with a dead father you didn’t know and a deadbeat mother you don’t know. I know you’ve always been defiant with Zacky and it’s something we all have accepted as part of your charm but don’t you think this is taking it a bit far? He’s trying to protect you. We’re all trying to protect you. The only person not concerned with your safety seems to be you!”

Val had stormed off with the impression that her angry rant had dissuaded me and I let her believe that but the next morning – day two of captivity – I decided to look elsewhere for help. Johnny, while not as angry as Val had been, was no keener on the idea of me taking off even for only a few hours.

“Even if I did agree with your reasons for wanting to get out, and trust me I don’t, I still wouldn’t put my ass on the line, not to mention risk your life, just so you could ease your needlessly guilty mind. You’re going to have to find another way to work through whatever issues you still have with that day you and Brian found Berry dead. But look on the brightside, you’ve got nothing but free time on your hands to do it.”

Contrary to what Johnny believed it wasn’t misplaced guilt that had me so fixated on seeing Emilee Berry for myself. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was that terrified look in her eyes when she’d seen me open the closet. Or maybe it was me finally facing the fact that there was never any getting out of this life – that somewhere along the line even little girls could fall prey to the pitfalls of our lifestyle. Maybe it was just plain old human concern for an orphaned child – a last ditch effort for my moral compass to make an appearance in my obviously amoral world. Either way, neither Val nor Johnny’s rejection was going to stop me. I would have gone to Drew but he’d flown back east to get whatever information he could out of Knox and his other connections.

So by day three of doing nothing but guessing at my chances of surviving a jump out one of the windows, I asked Jimmy for help. He was, after all, the most laidback of all the guys so maybe he would appreciate a fun day of playing hooky and getting away from the growing tension in the house. I didn’t bother trying to explain to him why I wanted to get out for a little while, and I didn’t have to because his response was quick and to the point.

“No.” He laughed a little with disbelief at the fact that I was even trying. “I love you babe, but no.” And he walked away still shaking his head and chuckling a little.

This morning, day four, I woke up and knew that Matt would be my last ditch effort. There’d be no point in even trying Brian whose loyalty to Zacky went leaps and bounds beyond any kind of friendship we had. So I cornered Matt on his way to Zacky’s office and asked him if he’d be able to buy me a few hours outside just to combat my growing cabin fever. He’d only given me an incredulous look before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “stubborn” under his breath and walking right around me. I assume he told Val immediately which would explain why she was standing in the doorway now looking like a bull ready to charge.

I let out an over-exaggerated sigh and dropped the magazine, giving Val my full attention.

“If you’re going to lay into me with part two of the angry tirade you started a few days ago then let me warn you right now that being locked up for four days, knowing that there’s nothing I can do to help find Slade or help protect myself or even help one little girl is really starting to work my last fucking nerve. I’m practically fucking vibrating with energy that I have no fucking outlet for so I really, really do not want to get into it with you right now.” I worked to keep my voice at that low, threatening level I had picked up from Zacky and fixed her with a warning glare.

Val took a slow, deep breath before coming over to sit by me on the bed.

“I get it. You feel a little helpless which goes against your nature – hell it goes against all of our natures – but you’re not thinking rationally.”

I raised one eyebrow and stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Okay if I can’t get you to think about your own safety here then just think about the danger you’d be putting that girl in. We don’t know how many people Slade’s offer has reached but even if there’s only one hitman out there hunting you that’s one more than Emilee Berry can afford to come into contact with. Assuming you leave here and end up being watched and followed, how can you guarantee that some desperate asshole won’t snatch her up just to see if they can get to you? You know better than most people that caring for someone can be a liability in our line of work. I mean look at your situation. Slade knows Zacky loves you more than anything else in this world and now you’ve got a 50k hit hanging over your head.”

Val made a valid point – one I hadn’t exactly considered but it also seemed a bit extreme. Slade put a hit on me because he knew Zacky’s relationship with me was his one weakness but no one would read that much into one, short visit I made to check on Emilee Berry.

“It’s not the same thing.” I said, facing Val again. “No one’s going to go out of their way to kidnap a four year old girl just because I talked to her once.”

“Fine.” Val sighed. “Clearly there’s no reasoning with you but what’re you going to do if Zacky finds out about your efforts to slip watch?”

“I already know.” Zacky chose that moment to waltz into the room, a disapproving look on his face.

I let out a groan and mentally prepared myself for the coming fight. But Zacky just walked over, pulled me up from the bed and wrapped his arms around me.

“You forget, baby, everyone here works for me. They might be like family but they still work for me. Did you really think you could go around asking my guys to break you out of here without it getting back to me? Except for you Val. You’re the only one who didn’t come to me with this bit of information.” Zacky shot Val a harsh look over my shoulder.

I looked over my shoulder at Val and her face remained calm but I could see the quick flash of anxiety in her eyes. For a moment I felt bad – I hadn’t really thought about the position I’d be putting the guys in by testing an already furious Zacky.

“But I appreciate your loyalty to Toni.” Zacky said with a shrug and I could see relief flood her eyes.

“I’m glad someone puts their allegiance to me before you.” I muttered beneath my breath, frowning. Security was already tight but now that Zacky was onto me there’d definitely be no breaking out.

“You can wipe that pout off your face.” Zacky said before proceeding to wipe it off for me by biting my lips before pressing his mouth against mine. I was just wrapping my arms around his neck and getting into the kiss when he pulled back. “I’ve decided to compromise.” He said with a smirk.

“Come on.” He wrapped my hand in his and tugged me down the stairs with Val following close behind us.

I followed Zacky into his office and paused at the sight of four burly, huge, tattooed guys standing in the middle of the room. It was like having four Matts standing in the middle of the room. If Matt had been on steroids.

“This is your security team. You can go anywhere you want as long as these guys go with you.” Zacky spoke while walking over to his desk and leaning against it.
I looked from the silent, stoic guys to Zacky before walking over and standing in front of him.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what made you change your mind? Four days ago you made it clear that there was no chance in hell you’d let me out of your sight.” I didn’t want him to change his mind but my curiosity got the better of me and I just had to ask.

“You’d be surprised what I can get done in four days.” Zacky smirked. “I made sure Johnny spread word out about the first guy who tried up at Big Bear. Then I killed a few others just to make a point. And I left a few alive but battered so that they’d make it clear to any other fuckers who so much as thought they might give Slade’s offer a try. You’re mine and no one’s going to touch you.”

“That’s what the tattoo says.” I smiled a little, reminding Zacky of the “Property of Vengeance” tattoo I’d had done for our one year anniversary forever ago.

Zacky placed a quick kiss to my lips before leaning back and giving me a stern look.

“There’re still other conditions though.” I rolled my eyes but waited silently for him to continue. “Call me every hour on the hour when you’re not home. And I’m serious, Toni. The minute I don’t get that call all fucking hell will break loose. And you’re back before sundown. And –”

I pulled his head towards mine and kissed him before he had the chance to lay out any more restricting ground rules. When I pulled away, I kept my arms wrapped around his neck and whispered against his lips.

“How do you know we can trust them?” I nodded over at the four built guys that made up my security team.

“They have families.” Zacky said loud enough for them to hear, looking over my shoulder at them. “They have wives and children so they know how important you are to me. And they know the consequences should anything happen to you.” Zacky spoke to me but fixed them with a cold, calculating stare that he had perfected in his rise to the top of the food chain. It left me feeling pretty confident that these guys would literally guard me with their lives.

I twisted out of Zacky’s arms and walked over to the four guys who had yet to make a sound. They really were very big men.

“Do I really need all four of them?” I asked Zacky.

“Toni.” His voice dropped and he shot me a warning glare.

“Alright.” I held my hands up in defeat. “I’m going to go out for a little while.” I walked over to Zacky and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before heading towards the door.

“I’m coming with you.” Val said from where she’d been standing next to the door.

Just as we were walking out of Zacky’s office, Brian was strolling in. On our way to the front door, the four monsters in tow, I saw Matt shoving a middle aged, dirty blonde guy down the stairs of the basement. I didn’t think much of it since my mind was already thinking about finally putting that haunting, screaming image of Emilee Berry to rest.

Zacky’s P.O.V.

“We found him.” Brian sauntered into my office, lighting a cigarette as he smoke.

I pushed off my desk and grabbed the pistol I kept in the drawer.

According to Drew and Johnny, the whispers about the 50k on Toni’s head were already slowing down thanks to our brutality spree making it clear just who Toni belonged to; Toni wasn’t pissed off any more which meant I had a very fun night ahead of me catching up on four days’ worth of sexless nights and now this – it was shaping up to be a really good day in my book.

I followed Brian out of my office and down to the basement just in time to see Matt tying a bruised and bloody guy to our designated torture chair as Jimmy and Johnny stood off to the side cracking their necks and smiling sadistically.

Christian Lange. Former right-hand man to the soon to be dead Michael Slade. We’d been looking for this fucker ever since that Santa Monica cop uttered Michael Slade’s name. If Slade slipped back into the country with the far-fetched idea of taking me down then there’s only one person left still willing to defy me and make contact with the exiled fucker that had dared to go to war with me all those years ago. And that one person was here at my mercy – not that I’ve been known to have any.

“Christian Lange.” I pulled up a chair and sat across from him. “Chris, can I call you Chris?, it’s been awhile. How’ve you been?” I smiled viciously at him, relaxing in my seat.

I relished the look of pure fear in his eyes as he sat shaking across from me. He’d bet on the wrong horse years ago and had been lucky to get out alive. By the way he was trembling I’d say I was on the list of people he never wanted to see again.

“Good? Good. So let’s get right down to the fucking point. Where’s Slade?” I leaned forward and stared at him waiting for an answer.

His eyes widened a little at the mention of Slade and he tried to lean back to put some distance between us.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Why is nothing ever easy?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair and motioning to Matt.

Before Lange could blink Matt’s bat came slamming down on his face. One loud, broken groan filled the room before the bat swung twice at his chest, knocking the breath right out of him and cutting off what would’ve been screams of agony.

“Do I have to ask you again?” I raised one eyebrow and watched as blood ran down his chin.

“I haven’t heard from Michael Slade in years.” He managed to cough out when he finally caught his breath.

“That’s funny. Neither had I – until I found out he somehow ruined a job for my friend Johnny over here. Johnny, how does that make you feel?”

Johnny walked over and swung his chain around Lange’s neck. Struggling chokes filled the room as Johnny increased the pressure, waiting until seconds before Lange would pass out before loosening the chains and stepping back.

“See Johnny’s pissed off.” I spoke, ignoring the sputtering sounds of Lange trying to force air back into his lungs.

“I don’t know anything.” He coughed out, falling forward in his chair.

“See” I sighed, standing up, “I don’t believe you.” Lifting my pistol in the air I slammed it into his face repeatedly for a few moments before sitting back down across from him.

“So, I’m going to ask you again. Where. Is. Slade.” I leaned forward, Jimmy holding Lange up by his hair and forcing him to look me in the eye.

“I don’t know. Please. I got out. I have a wife and kid now.” Lange spoke around the blood gushing from his face.

“Oh you do?” The question was rhetorical since Johnny had already found out this information. “Then we have a little something in common. See I have a woman I love too. I’m very protective of her and I can’t help it – she turns me into this primal animal sometimes. And Slade threatened her. How would you feel if I threatened –” I looked to Brian for a name.

“Alyssa and little Tommy.”

“How would you feel if I threatened them?”

“Please, leave them out of this.” Lange’s head rolled forward as Jimmy released his hold on him.

“I can’t promise I’ll do that.” I leaned forward in my chair, moving even closer to Lange.

“I swear I don’t know. I swear, please. I wouldn’t do that I fucking swear on my life. I have everything to lose and nothing to gain by helping Slade please, I’m fucking telling you the truth.” Lange rambled on, coughing up blood as he practically sobbed.

I moved my face back to avoid the splatter of blood and looked over my shoulder to share a look with Brian.

Shaking my head I stood up again, walking over to Johnny and taking the heavy chain from his hands.

“The good news is I believe you.” I said, walking behind Lange.

“The bad news is” I swung the chain around his neck, “it doesn’t exonerate you.” Wrapping the ends of the chain around my fist I yanked it back so hard Lange’s head snapped back at record speed and his body struggled again to leave the chair. I held the chain tight until he was blue in the face before dropping it to the floor. He fell forward again, coughing and heaving.

Jimmy wrapped his fingers in Lange’s bloody hair and pulled his head up.

“You’re going to find Slade and you’re going to do it fast. You knew him better than anyone else so that shouldn’t be too hard.” I said, watching the fear in Lange’s eyes. “And if you don’t, well I don’t need to go into detail about the many different types of pain I can introduce you and your precious family too. You’re a smart guy – I don’t need to warn you not to try to fuck me over. Say ‘I understand, Zacky’.”

“I understand, Zacky.” He gasped out.

“Good. It was nice catching up.” I patted him twice on his bloody face before turning on my heel and leaving the basement.

Toni’s P.O.V.

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Val hopped out of her car and walked up behind me. We would’ve rode together like we normally do but the Hummer only fit me and my four muscular bodyguards and even then I was sandwiched uncomfortably between two unbelievably ripped bodies.

It had been about an hour and half drive out to the foster home address Johnny had found for Emilee Berry.

“Positive.” I said, looking up and down the shady streets. This place made Matt and Emilee Berry’s old place look like Zacky’s massive house.

“Well, we came, we saw, let’s go.” Val said, already trying to push me back into the car.

“Val. We haven’t seen anything.” I shook her arm off and looked at the rundown house across that street where Emilee Berry was supposedly getting acquainted with her new foster parents.

“I’m going to go inside.” I said without looking at Val.

“And say what? ‘Hey, I’m the woman who found her murdered father, I just thought I’d pop in to say hello.’ Toni, come on.”

“I’ll say I was a friend of her dad’s. It’ll be really fast.” I started to move forward and so did two of the big guys.

“Uh, I think it’s pretty safe for you to stay out here. I’ll only be a minute.”

They didn’t look all that comfortable with the plan but I didn’t really give them a chance to argue. I’d waited almost two weeks to do this and I was going to do it alone.