Excuse The Obscene

Everyone has a breaking point and I was no stranger to mine. Drew called it recklessness. I call it a combination of instinct and adrenaline. Couple that with the sheer rage that had been building up over the years and it was no shock to me that I did what I did.

'You'

That was all it took. Me. He wanted me. He had the nerve. The fucking audacity. The unmitigated gall.

And then the feeling of my wall crumbling. The wall I had built around the thoughts of my past. The wall that kept the memories at bay. The same wall Johnny had cracked last night, Zacky just full on fucking destroyed. Everything that had happened that night over two years ago. Everything that had happened in the last two days. He was ruining my life all over again. He was taking away everything I had built and earned over the last few years without him.

My instinct, adrenaline and rage all agreed. Fuck. That..

In the space of a few seconds my hand reached for the lamp that sat on the bedside table. Gorgeous and expensive. And flying through the air right towards Zacky's egotistical head. And shattering against the wall. After that anything within reach was fair game. The bottle of pills Cain had left out for Drew. The thick role of white gauze. Once the small bedside table was empty I lifted that and sent it flying as well.

Then multiple things happened at once. The bedside table slammed into Zacky, making it the first thing to actually hit him, and cracked. Drew grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side against him, abruptly stopping my impromptu attack. The door swung open and the guys plus Val stormed into the room.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Matt shouted, taking in the shit scattered on the floor while Zacky brushed himself off, still managing to smirk.

"Toni just got a little upset." Zacky looked at me and winked.

"I'm going to fucking kill you." I launched myself forward but before I could reach Zacky, Brian stepped in front of me and grabbed my shoulders.

I kneed him in the groin and elbowed his back. Before he hit the floor I pulled his gun from where he had it tucked into his pants.

I'd barely aimed the gun when three more were trained on me. Jimmy, Matt and Johnny had all pulled out there weapons and were waiting for Zacky to place some order. It hadn't taken long for Brian to spring back to his feet and simultaneously pull a gun from somewhere down by his ankle. Why the fuck were they all packing heat this early in the morning?

"Atta girl, she's still got it." Val said from her spot near the door, smiling at me.

"Unbelievable." I heard Drew mutter underneath his breath.

"Put the fucking guns down." The smirk left Zacky's face and his voice came out harsh and controlling. Almost immediately the guys lowered their guns. Instinctively I started to lower mine as well. Zacky tended to have that affect on people.

I caught myself before I lowered my gun entirely, instead leveling it back on Zacky who didn't seem all that disturbed by the pistol.

"Why doesn't everyone leave and give Toni and I some time to talk." Val said, speaking to Zacky but looking at me.

"Blondie, I'm not leaving this room without Toni." Drew spoke, his loyal side shining through despite the beatings he had already taken because of me.

"Well you're expendable." Matt spoke, lifting his gun again and pointing it at Drew this time. "Call my girl 'Blondie' again and I'll show you just how expendable you are."

"Let's not get violent. Yet." Val gave a slightly sadistic smile but still got Matt to lower his weapon.

I nodded towards Drew, letting him know I'd be fine alone with Val. I waited until all the guys had filed out of the room before pocketing Brian's gun.

"You assassins are so trigger happy. Cute trick by the way, taking Brian's gun like that. Though the groin was a cheap shot." Val spoke quickly as she glided over to the bed and sat down as if this was an everyday occasion.

"I'm leaving Val." I stared Val right in the eye and got right to the point. "This was a fun little game you guys played here but I'm leaving. The end. El fin. No mas."

"Well haven't you just gotten hostile over the years." Val leveled her gaze with mine without so much as a flinch.

I sighed internally and tried to figure a way out of this mess. There was no way in hell I was walking out of this place without someone's help and Val seemed like the most viable candidate.

"It's not what you think, you know." Val broke me from my train of thought.

"Not what I think?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and cocking my head slightly to the side.

"He wants to give you a job. Well, your old job back anyway. That's what he meant."

I took a few seconds to think this over quickly in my head. A job. Zacky wanted me to work for him again after everything that had happened. No. He always had an ulterior motive and it wasn't hard to see what that motive was this time.

"So are we pretending he's not using that as some excuse to get back in my pants?" I asked after a few moments.

"Fine, so Zacky wants you back. What's so wrong with that? Toni, I get it, you're upset but-"

"Upset?" I cut Val off. "I'm upset when I get pulled over for doing 5 above the speed limit. I'm upset when I realize I'm out of clean panties. I'm upset when I lose my car keys. This goes so fucking far beyond upset. He beat the shit out of me. He held a gun to my head. He threw me out on the street. All for something I didn't even fucking do. I'm not upset, Val. I'm fucking livid. I'm infuriated. I'm fucking pissed off beyond anything I ever thought I was ever capable of."

"Yeah. Okay." Val looked at me somewhat like a doctor might view an deranged patient.

I tried to get my breathing under control and reel my anger in.

"Toni you're not seeing every aspect of the situation though." Val continued to speak once she decided I was calm again. "Just think about it. He's offering you a job here. A really good one, all things considered. You can either walk out of here, dragging your bruised and hopefully still alive friend and go back to whatever it is you were doing or you can stay and work for one of the most powerful men on the west coast. Work for him for a few years and you won't ever have to work again for the rest of your life, which is good considering no one is going to hire retired assassins. And we'd get to be partners again." Val said the last part excitedly.

I didn't want to admit it out loud but she was right. Walking out the front door with Drew in tow and unharmed was highly unlikely. And I loved what I did now but it's nothing compared to life a few years ago. Back when I had a family to back me up; when I didn't have to worry about some pissed off fucker coming after me in my sleep. And doing the occasional hit on someone paid well but not nearly as well as a steady job with Zacky had. And I could deny it all I want but I missed that life. I love Drew but he could never make up for the friendships I had with Val, Johnny, Matt, Jimmy and even Brian. And Drew definitely was no substitute for Zacky.

Zacky. That was the only thing holding me back. I can't do that to myself again. No matter how much I want to come back...I'm not sure I can handle working with him but not being with him. I'm 80 percent sure that I don't love him like I used to but every bone in my body was telling me it would be all to easy to fall back in love with him. I can hate him now but I can't stop myself from loving him again.

"Toni, you know you want it." Val broke my train of thought again.

I ignored Val and thought about it for a while longer. If I was going to do this than there was still one more thing that needed to be taken care of.

"Fine, I'll do it on one condition."

Val squealed, literally squealed. Grown men feared her and she just squealed.

"Don't get so excited. You haven't even heard my condition yet."

"Don't tell it to me. You have to tell it Zacky."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zacky's P.O.V.

"That went well." I said, dropping into my office chair while Brian perched on the desk and the other guys took seats.

"She threw a table at you and kneed Brian." Matt pointed out, shooting me a confused look.

"And for Toni, that went well. She didn't shoot anyone or even seriously harm anyone." I smirked just thinking about it.

Toni had always been incredibly feisty and it was hard to find another girl like her. In fact, there were a lot of things about Toni that I could never find in another girl.

I propped my legs up on the desk and waited for Val and Toni to return. I could hear the guys muttering to each other about what to do about the Drew guy who was currently locked in a spare room. I personally thought we should kill the fucker and move on but the guys convinced me that it wasn't the strongest game plan considering Toni's 'attachment' to him.

I tuned out the guys and instead thought about Toni. About how gorgeous she looked pissed off. I'd never had a gun pointed at me and let the person live but for Toni I was willing to make all kinds of exceptions. Brian couldn't comprehend what I was going through. None of the guys could. But just having Toni back here was enough for me. I wanted to chain her to me and keep her beside me forever. But that's plan B.

I snapped out of my thoughts when the door to my office flew open and Val pranced in with Toni stomping in behind her.

I turned to the guys and they all stood and started filing out of the room. Val gave Toni one last look before wrapping her arms around Matt's waist and leaving the room.

Toni kicked the door closed behind her and walked over to the chair facing my desk. She sat and just stared at me.

"So, I take it Val told you everything." I broke the silence but kept my eyes right on hers.

"Yes and I'll only do it on one condition."

"And what's that?" I asked, leaning back in my chair.

I made it a point to look cool and calm on the outside but on the inside I was a little worried. If she wanted me to promise not to try and get her back then we'd have a problem. I never made promises I had no intention of keeping and there was no fucking way I was letting Toni stay out of my arms for much longer.

"Drew." Was all Toni said.

"He gets to go free." I responded easily.

"No. He gets to stay. Right here with me. We're a package deal. You want me then you get him too." Toni leaned back in her chair and smirked.

I raised one eyebrow and waited for her to say something else. Those conditions were not going to suit my needs.

"No."

"Fine then. We'll be going." Toni moved to stand up out of her chair and I stood up too.

"Why the fuck would you want to do something like that?" I leaned over the desk until our faces were mere inches from each other. "If he stays around here it's only a matter of time before somebody snaps and kills his whiny ass."

"He's good at what he does. You want my skills you get his too." She gave a shrug but didn't back up. In fact, she had leaned in more and our faces got slightly closer. "Consider it a deal."

"And what exactly are his skills?" I asked.

"Communications. Things like that." I felt her breathe slid over my face and I instinctively leaned in even closer.

"I've got Johnny for that. Why would I need him?" I asked, paying more attention to her eyes that were slowly becoming more cloudy than I was to her words.

"Because it's the only way you're going to get me." She spoke and I noticed her eyes staring at my lips.

"Done." I said.

"Good." I watched her plump lips form the word.

I watched as Toni slowly pulled her lower lip between her teeth, something I hadn't seen her do in ages. She only bit her bottom lip when she was trying hard to keep from saying something but most of the time she didn't bother filtering her words. The simple act of her teeth pulling on that plump, red lower lip pushed me over the edge. My hand, acting on it's own volition, reached up and grabbed her chin, holding her face in place. And before I could stop myself, I felt those lips against my own. I held her chin as my mouth attacked hers.

I was starting to run out of breathe when Toni pulled back, forcing my hand to fall back to my side. Her eyes were no longer cloudy with lust but instead filled with a sexy anger that I knew so well.

I smirked as Toni stood up straight and glared at me.

"Another condition. You can't just sexually harass me whenever you feel like it."

"No dice. You've already made your one condition and it's been met. A deal's a deal." I smiled and sat back down, looking up at Toni's glare.

She growled a little before spinning on her heel and heading towards the door. I couldn't help but watch her hips move as she stomped angrily from my room. Drew's presence was a small price to pay in exchange for being able to watch Toni all the time. Those hips, legs and lips; that fiery, 'takes no bullshit' personality; the almost constant fight for dominance. In comparison, Drew's permanent stay was nothing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toni's P.O.V

I left Zacky's room feeling an old and familiar combination of lust and anger. I stormed through the hallway opening doors in an attempt to find Drew. I'd made it to the second floor when I spotted Jimmy perched against the wall beside a door.

"You look...hot and bothered." Jimmy shot me a grin as I got closer and closer to him.

I ignored his comment and threw the door beside him open. I shut the door behind me before walking over to where Drew was sitting on the windowsill.

"Your psychotic ex-boyfriend sure knows how to make a man comfortable." Drew said sarcastically, hopping off the windowsill and walking towards me.

"What'd he do to you? What's the plan? Did you kill him yet?" Drew asked, circling me and looking for bruises.

"I'm fine and we need to talk." I said, pushing him down onto the bed.

"That sounds ominous and I need a drink." Drew responded as I dropped onto the bed beside him.

I turned and looked at Drew. Over the last two years he had become the closest thing I had to a best friend. He was my only companion and on some level I gave him a small ounce of trust and a large pool of loyalty. Over the past few years he'd given me the same thing. And that made me wonder why I was doing this to him. Why I'd taken it upon myself to relocate the both of us and our services, if you could call what we did 'services'.

And I couldn't lie to myself and say that I wasn't doing it because of Zacky. The very reason I wanted to run and never look back was the same thing that compelled me to stay. Because Zacky made it so easy for me to want to fall in love with him again. It was easy to want to be near him and fight with him and kiss him and hurt him. And me being the selfish person I was, couldn't do it without Drew. I wanted him to be here with me as the guy I'd come to consider my best friend.

Assuming he would even agree to it. God knows he wouldn't do it without putting up a fight.

But no matter how hard Drew made this argument, the feeling wouldn't compare to how easy it was to want Zacky.