Killing Joy

It had been three days since the incident between me and Caleb. He was in the no talking term with me, he kept ignored me and always avoided me whenever we passed in my house. But he’s a very good on actor, so he acted there’s nothing happened with us by showing some affection in front of mom.

Jack? He knew something went wrong with us. He kept asking about our relationship but I chose to zip my mouth everytime we slipped into Caleb conversation. Fortunately, Jack didn’t have a lot presence in house so he couldn’t find more peculiarity in our marriage. He chose to out with Alex or his bandmates.

“Nicky? What happen? Finish your lunch, honey” my mom distracted my mind. I was having lunch with her without any presence neither Caleb nor Jack. I didn’t know where Caleb went, I didn’t care though.

I nodded at my mom and scooped my meal, but I thought I had already big meal that time. But I just ate three scoop, my stomach lurched. Oh no, I knew it, my pregnancy. I suddenly became so nauseated and found my way to the nearest bathroom. I let out my stomach content on toilet.

I hated to be pregnant.

I made it thrice to puke on the toilet. As I looked on my content, I flushed it and came to rinse my self on basin. I heard a worried knock from the door.
“Honey? You’re okay?” my mom called.

“Yes, mom. I’m alright” I said drying my mouth and came out from the bathroom. My mom spotted me and frowned. She stroked my head and my cheek with a look I couldn’t guess.

“You… you puked your lunch?” she asked tensely. Without waiting for my response, she suddenly pulled me into a hug and stroked my back. I could picture her smiling to me. “I knew it, baby. I knew it. You’re pregnant, right?” she pulled out and smiled genuinely.

I was lost of words. How did she know!

“I’m so glad baby… thank goodness, finally I can have grandchild from you and Caleb”

“Mom—“ I couldn’t lie to my mom, it would just get worse.

“Have you told Caleb? Have you taken any doctor appointments??” she rubbed my flat stomach with the most-happiest smile I’d ever seen on her. Oh shit, I couldn’t let her down at that time.

“Uhmm..” I managed to talk “Yes, I’ve told him. And Uhh.. I haven’t taken this to the doctor”

“You should then!” she chuckled when we were heading back to the dining room. I stopped my track and clenched my teeth.

“Mom… I have some confession to make” I started

My mom started at me in confusion, “I.. I don’t love Caleb, mom… and I’m going to really break up with him soon”

My mom gasped while her eyes glowered. “Nicky! Of course you cant; you both make a very cute couple!”

“But I don’t love him, mom. please.. Just listen to me, I really need to break up with him” I whined and half cried. My mom stared me deeply and frowned in displeasure. She was kinda shocked and showed some sad emotion.

“My dear, you’re pregnant…”

“And I don’t care”

“You can’t break up with him” she said softly while my tone grew higher

“Mom! You have insisted me to marry him and then he raped me, took advantages of me, and freaking stole my virginity!!!! AND THE WORST THING IS I’M PREGNANT! I don’t want to hear you again, mom! This is my life! I have rights to decide it!”

My mom seemed tying back her tongue and she slipped her tears from the corner of her eyes. My unsteady breath was softened when I actually saw my mom cried. And it’s because of my yell obviously.

“I’m.. I’m such a horrible person…” my mom sobbed “I’m really sorry, Nicky.. I don’t know the matter I’ve made really bounds you like this… I’m really really sorry…” my mom cried out loud as I pulled her into a tight hug. I groaned in my mind wishing she could have realize how she insisted me a lot from the day one.

“Mom.. d-don’t cry.. I’m sorry too I have yelled at you like that…” I said softly

“Nicky…” she took a deep breath, “You really want to break up with him? I mean, i.. after what I’ve done to you.. I’m sorry but.. but.. you’re pregnant, you cant divorce with him while you’re pregnant. Ca-can y-you…” she stuttered

“What do you mean mom?” I whispered

“Can you wait it until you born him?”

My breath choked. UNTIL THIS THING BORNED?? It’s soooo long to take!

“Mom… I don’t know..” I said hesitated

“Honey, I know I’m a bad person, but please give me one last happiness… let me see the baby finds his complete parents for awhile, and then you can break up with Caleb. I promise, I would never get you into misery again” she sobbed harder and squished me in such a firm grasp.

“I…” I responded biting my lip. Seriously, seven months isn’t a short term. It’s quite long for a pregnant girl like me to wait for the break up. I sighed in defeat, “Alright…”

My mom’s eyes was lightened up, “Oh dear Lord, thank you, Nicky”

But she kept crying on my chest hugging me with her motherly grip. She smiled weakly and kissed my cheek, “You’ll be a great mother” she whispered.

XXX