I Left You Bound and Tied With Suicidal Memories

[[Tracy's POV]]

The girl, Poison, whom I got to know a few days ago was really nice. So were her friends. They've been visiting me a lot lately - I have no idea why since I don't really know them at all.

They told me that I do. I do know them. And I feel like I do. But why does it seem like I can't remember a thing?

I can't even remember my own name. They told me it was Tracy. So I have to believe them, since they are my friends.

A week after being in the hospital, this guy named Brian came into my ward.

All the time that I know Brian, he wasn't much of a talker. He always looked like he's thinking of something - like he had problems in mind. And there is something about his eyes - I just can't put what it is.

"Hey," he said, awkwardly.

"Hey," I said, a little too quickly, trying to sit up.

He rushed to my side and helped me up. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.

"You're being discharged today?" he tried to remind me as I slapped my forehead.

"Of course I am," I mumbled to myself. How could I even forget about the day I've been waiting for since I can remember.

He gave me a small grin. "I'm here to pick you up. Bring you to," he cleared his throat, "your house."

I gave him a you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look. He shook his head.

"The guys had to do something with their girlfriends," he said before mumbling to himself, "Except for Zacky. He's still moping around all day."

I chuckled and nodded my head.

:::::::::::::::::

We got into his black mercedes - him driving and me sitting to the seat next to him.

"I'm sorry," Brian blurted - out of the blue.

I turned to face him with my eyebrows raised. "You're sorry for?"

He shook his head, laughing nervously. "Nothing."

"Come on, tell me," I shook his arms playfully.

He looked at my hands holding his arm before looking up at me, surprised. I quickly pulled it away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," I mumbled, focusing on the surroundings outside the car.

"No," he quickly said, "No. I don't - I don't mind."

I shook my head, my smile fake. I feel really embarrassed for him looking at me like that.

Our ride to my house was totally quiet since the incident. "Here we are," Brian told me as we drove into the garage.

The house from the outside was amazing. It was a white two-floor house. "I live here?" I asked, in disbelief.

*****

[Brian's POV]

"I live here?" she asked in disbelief. I looked at the house before us. It's actually Matt and Poison's house but they were cool about making her believe that it was her house for the time being.

"Yeah. You and Poison live together. Matt just comes occassionally," I lied as I held open the door for her.

She smiled and went in. "Wow. This house is beautiful," she whispered to herself.

"Why do you insist on saying that this isn't your house?" I asked, shutting the door close as I took off my coat.

She paused as she thought. "I just don't like big houses. I don't know if I do in the past, but I know that right now," she paused looking around her surrounding, "I prefer a smaller apartment."

She turned to look at me as she grinned. "I don't want to be like the big shots who have to buy a huge house just to show everyone how rich they are."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Why was this woman so down-to-earth? The bruises around her face made me feel even more guilty than ever. She didn't deserve it.

"Tracyyyy!" someone interrupted my thoughts.

We both turned to see Poison by the stairs walking down as Matt tailed her. Poison gave the woman a light embrace before saying, "Let's have dinner. The guys would be here soon."

She led us to the dining room, as we took our seat. There was silence between us as we stared at each other - well, me, Matt and Poison mostly.

"So!" Poison said in her high pitched voice which made me jump, "How are you feeling?"

"Good, good," The woman replied with a smile.

"Hey guys," someone called. We all turn to see Mara and Johnny, hand-in-hand, grinning over at us.

"Mara! Johnny! Come sit down," Poison grinned as the latters did as they were told.

"Actually, Johnny, Matt and Brian. Can you help me bring the food out from the kitchen?" Poison asked as she looked at us.

There was that thing on her face - her expression - telling us that we were in hot soup. I just nodded my head and walked straight towards the kitchen.

"We have to tell her the truth," she said immediately after she closed the kitchen door.

"What? No we can't," Johnny shook his head.

"But she's just too nice," Poison insisted.

"That woman isn't nice," I pointed outside the door, "If she was, the woman wouldn't have a job as an escort."

"Why do you keep calling her the woman? She has a name, you know," Poison interrupted, glaring at me.

"I -" I paused, not knowing the real reason why.

"You're ashamed?" Poison seem to be pouring the salt into the wound.

"Poison, that's enough," Matt gave her a light squeeze.

"Look," Poison rolled her eyes and raised both her arms in the air in exasperation, "I don't care how it takes. I don't care what the outcome might be, you HAVE to tell her."

She turned to look at Johnny. "Does Mara know?"

Johnny shook his head. "And I'm hoping it'll stay that way," he looked at us for support.

I nodded my head. "Yeah. She doesn't have to know. Johnny never really did anything wrong with her." I said, realizing that Johnny and Matt had always been the one to try to stop me from what I tried doing.

"Thank you," Johnny thanked me.

I gave him a curt nod before turning back to Poison. "We will tell her the truth - soon. After she's regained her health," I told her and she nodded her head.

"Fine," she took out a tray of lasagne and rushed out of the kitchen.

I turned to look at Matt, "Seriously, do you have to get her involved in something that is between us?"

He shrugged. "I'm planning to propose to her dude. I'm practicing the no-hiding secrets between us."

"You're planning to propose to her?" Johnny and I asked at the same time - having the same reaction.

Matt gave us a shy smile - something he hasn't done since he was in love with a girl back in Elementary school. "I love her, man," he tried to defend himself, "And besides, we're already living together."

I stared at him in disbelief. Johnny, however, nodded his head and patted Matt's shoulder. "You have my support, dude," Johnny told him and Matt grinned.

::::::

After dinner, I showed the wom - Tracy to her room. She stared at the guest room.

"What?" I asked, and a moment after that, I felt stupid for asking. What if she asks a question where I could not answer?

"It - Doesn't look like my room," she said and I felt my heart pound wildly against my chest.

"Sure it is," I lied.

"There's no pictures of me or anyone - for that matter."

I knew we should've put her photo or something. Since we had her camera with her pictures in it. I ran towards a table and took her pink camera. "This is your camera with your pictures in your room," I said and handed her the camera.

She took it and grinned. "Sorry. It's just - I can't remember a thing."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it." And mumbled, "I should be the one apologizing."

"Say what?" she asked looking up from looking at a AC/DC album.

I shook my head.