Fever Dreams and Secrets
Telling the Truth
The tour was going as well as was to be expected. More than expected actually. But after weeks on the road, Mike Dirnt was getting tired of the up and go time he was having. He was seated on the table, playing with glass of water, seeing with how much force he could push it to his other hand without spilling it. Billie was across from him, trying to fill out a crossword. Looking at all the squares was making Mike dizzy so he started playing with his cup again. Tre was at the wheel, and by God they both should have know better but their driver had had to leave for a family emergency.
“You okay Mike?” Billie asked, concerned, wondering why his friend was so pale and quiet.
“Fine.” But he wasn’t. Mike knew he wasn’t, but he’d be damned if he was to going to tell Billie. The guitarist could be a protective son of a bitch if he wanted to be, and the last thing Mike wanted was somebody asking way too many questions when his head felt like it was going to explode. And why in hell was it so hot in here?
“Bullshit Mike. You’re shivering and it’s not even cold in here.”
Yup, it was bullshit. And why the hell was he shivering? Why the hell was he shivering when he was burning? Mike shook his head and tried to stand up, hoping to get away form his over protective friend and into his room on the bus. Why the hell was he so protective anyway? He wasn’t like that with Tre. And not really with Adie…he was walking ever so slowly to his room, hoping to steady the pounding in his head, when he keeled over.
“Mike!” Billie ran to the bassist and almost caught him as he crashed to the floor. He was most definitely not fine. He helped the taller man up and realized that he was burning up with fever. What illness could he have possibly caught? Millions of things, he concluded, what with jumping around from place to place with millions of people, the only answer was millions of things that could have made his friend sick.
“Everything all right back there?” Tre asked, diverting his attention from the road for a moment.
“Yeah! Mike just has the flu or something!” Billie yelled back, downsizing the problem so that Tre wouldn’t crash into something. That’s the last thing they needed.
“Come on Mike, its time for a nap and some antibiotics.” Billie said, grabbing the first aid kit from its place on a shelf. Mike said nothing as he walked, supported by Billie, to his bus room. He lay down on the bed gently and sighed at the cool feeling of the pillow.
“You okay Mike?”
“Just fucking great BJ.”
“Does your head hurt?”
“More like pounding, but yeah, hurt is okay.”
“Anything I should know about?”
“Like what?”
“Like why you didn’t tell me that you weren’t feeling so hot.”
“I don’t know Billie.”
But he did know. He knew perfectly well why he didn’t tell. Why he didn’t tell him lots of things.
“Stop bullshiting me Mike.”
He seemed to be doing that a lot. Lying. But the truth was that he didn’t want to be getting false hopes when the guitarist worried about him and fussed over his every want, not knowing what Mike really wanted. Him. So he answered, hoping to keep the lie alive a little bit longer. Long enough for Mike to accept that Billie didn’t love him. Not more than a friend anyway. Nope, that spot belonged to Adrienne, and Mike hated her for it. Hated it when Billie kissed her and not him. Hated it when Billie bragged to him and Tre about the great time he had last night in bed, and when all he wanted to do was scream that he could have made it better. But most of all he hated it when Billie kissed him onstage and laughed it off like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing. So he answered.
“I’m telling the truth BJ.”
And with that he closed his eyes and fell asleep…
“You okay Mike?” Billie asked, concerned, wondering why his friend was so pale and quiet.
“Fine.” But he wasn’t. Mike knew he wasn’t, but he’d be damned if he was to going to tell Billie. The guitarist could be a protective son of a bitch if he wanted to be, and the last thing Mike wanted was somebody asking way too many questions when his head felt like it was going to explode. And why in hell was it so hot in here?
“Bullshit Mike. You’re shivering and it’s not even cold in here.”
Yup, it was bullshit. And why the hell was he shivering? Why the hell was he shivering when he was burning? Mike shook his head and tried to stand up, hoping to get away form his over protective friend and into his room on the bus. Why the hell was he so protective anyway? He wasn’t like that with Tre. And not really with Adie…he was walking ever so slowly to his room, hoping to steady the pounding in his head, when he keeled over.
“Mike!” Billie ran to the bassist and almost caught him as he crashed to the floor. He was most definitely not fine. He helped the taller man up and realized that he was burning up with fever. What illness could he have possibly caught? Millions of things, he concluded, what with jumping around from place to place with millions of people, the only answer was millions of things that could have made his friend sick.
“Everything all right back there?” Tre asked, diverting his attention from the road for a moment.
“Yeah! Mike just has the flu or something!” Billie yelled back, downsizing the problem so that Tre wouldn’t crash into something. That’s the last thing they needed.
“Come on Mike, its time for a nap and some antibiotics.” Billie said, grabbing the first aid kit from its place on a shelf. Mike said nothing as he walked, supported by Billie, to his bus room. He lay down on the bed gently and sighed at the cool feeling of the pillow.
“You okay Mike?”
“Just fucking great BJ.”
“Does your head hurt?”
“More like pounding, but yeah, hurt is okay.”
“Anything I should know about?”
“Like what?”
“Like why you didn’t tell me that you weren’t feeling so hot.”
“I don’t know Billie.”
But he did know. He knew perfectly well why he didn’t tell. Why he didn’t tell him lots of things.
“Stop bullshiting me Mike.”
He seemed to be doing that a lot. Lying. But the truth was that he didn’t want to be getting false hopes when the guitarist worried about him and fussed over his every want, not knowing what Mike really wanted. Him. So he answered, hoping to keep the lie alive a little bit longer. Long enough for Mike to accept that Billie didn’t love him. Not more than a friend anyway. Nope, that spot belonged to Adrienne, and Mike hated her for it. Hated it when Billie kissed her and not him. Hated it when Billie bragged to him and Tre about the great time he had last night in bed, and when all he wanted to do was scream that he could have made it better. But most of all he hated it when Billie kissed him onstage and laughed it off like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing. So he answered.
“I’m telling the truth BJ.”
And with that he closed his eyes and fell asleep…