Status: complete :)
Set on False Pretense
2
I could hardly keep the smile from my face as I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I'd spoken to him, had a conversation with him. And he was blushing when we talked...he's so cute. I grinned and imagined his face smiling at me. When he had laughed my heart had fluttered wildly, I was worried he could tell. I wish I had touched him, just on his shoulder or his hand or something. Would I ever have the chance again?
I remembered the first time I had seen Will. It was my first day at Augustine College. I had seen him looking at me and felt my heart immediately skip a beat. I had wanted to go say hi, but before I knew it, people were swarming round me and Will had disappeared. And then I was too scared to break away from those people to find him. The way they spoke about him when he was around was horrible and I knew that if I went to talk to him they would say the same about me.
My happy mood vanished and I was immediately annoyed with myself. I was a coward. I hadn’t even told my parents I was gay. I knew mum wouldn’t care, she wouldn’t love me any less. But my dad was a different story. It wouldn’t surprise me if he banished me from the house. Just the fact that I liked to draw made him awkward about me. But even if I told them that would mean everyone else would know and...I don’t think I could handle all my team knowing. I groaned and put my arm over my eyes. Why was I such a fucking coward?
There was a knock on my door. "Yeah?" I said without moving.
"Hey, sweetie," mum said as she opened my door. "You alright?"
"Yeah, mum, I'm okay," I smiled. I sat up and she sat at the end of my bed.
"Sure?" she asked. This was my chance to tell her, I knew, but I couldn’t.
"Yeah," I smiled.
"Okay, well dinner's in 15 minutes," she said and I nodded and smiled. She kissed me on the cheek and then left. I lay back down and Will came back into my mind. I smiled slightly. I imagined kissing him and was amazed by my body's reaction. I tried to will away the bulge in my jeans but it wasn't leaving. "Chad, honey, dinner!" mum shouted from downstairs.
"Shit," I muttered. Okay, think of a turn off. Um... I moaned in frustration. The only thing in my mind was Will. He wouldn’t leave. Okay...grandma...hmm, that worked.
I went downstairs and saw mum and dad sitting at the table. I smiled at them and sat down in my usual place. "How was school?" dad asked and I shrugged.
"My team and I all got detention for skipping yesterday morning," I said as I ate some mashed potatoes.
"But you guys needed the practise," he said. It had been dad's idea that we skip those lessons. He had suggested it while Max was over as well and so Max immediately jumped at the idea. I hadn’t thought it was such a good idea, we didn't need the practise we were already state champions, and the time we spent in detention could just as well have been used for practise. I didn't reply to my dad's remark because I knew we would get into an argument. "Oh, Coach Tennison phoned earlier," dad said and I looked up. Tennison was our football coach.
"Oh," I said, trying to sound interested. To be honest, I didn't care much about football anymore. My passions, my aspirations, had changed.
"He said that scouts from universities were coming to watch your state championship game," he said and my heart immediately sank but I didn't let him see that.
"Oh, cool," I said, trying to feign enthusiasm.
"So for the next couple months I want you practising nearly every night," he said. "You're probably a top candidate for a scholarship." I smiled slightly and nodded. I glanced over at mum and saw she was frowning slightly at me. I smiled weakly at her and then continued eating while dad went on about how amazing it would be if I got into Loughborough. I didn't want to tell him that that was the last place I'd want to go. I didn't want to tell him I wanted to go to UCL to study Art.
I endured dad's comments for the next half an hour and then escaped by saying I had homework to do. I sat up in my room, wishing I could talk to Will. I searched on the computer on Facebook and Myspace for him, but he didn't seem to have an account on either. How many teenagers don’t have a facebook or a myspace? Will was different in so many ways and I loved that about him. I knew none of my friends would have his number and I didn't know anyone else that knew him. I guess I'd just have to wait for school tomorrow. I went on facebook and saw Max had left me a message.
Why were u talking to that guy
for so long in detention?
We needed your help with the
team strategies. Captain.
I rolled my eyes. I never wanted to be captain. They all voted me in, so they can't very well have a go at me for not doing it properly. I didn't even bother replying. I didn't have to defend myself against Max. He was the biggest idiot I have ever met. I changed into my boxers for bed and then turned the light off and lay staring at the ceiling. I thought about Will again and my body had the same reaction as last time. I closed my eyes as stroked myself and thought about Will. I didn't last long.
The next morning I drove to school and parked in my usual space. I noticed Will's car was already here and smiled slightly. I was slightly embarrassed about what I had done last night, but I was also thrilled as well. I wanted to find him and talk to him but I knew I had to be subtle about it. I went to my first class, which was English. Will was in this class as well, but so was Max, so I had no hope of talking to him. I got there early and sat in my usual seat, half way back. When I saw Will come in I immediately sat up straighter and watched him. His black jeans were tight and showed his amazing body. He wore a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his blazer was over one arm. As we were year 13, we no longer had to wear the school uniform, but we had to wear our blazers. I smiled slightly and licked my lips. He saw me and smiled and I smiled back. He walked passed me to his seat at the back of the room and as he did, he dropped something on my desk. I picked up the white folded paper and opened it, my heart racing.
I can't stop thinking about you. X
I stared at the words on the paper, my heart hammering in my chest, ready to burst out and tell Will I feel exactly the same way. I didn't want to stop looking at the 6 words and the x at the end but I knew I had to other wise Max might see it. I folded it carefully and put it in my blazer pocket right above my heart, which was begging me to turn around and kiss Will.
I remembered the first time I had seen Will. It was my first day at Augustine College. I had seen him looking at me and felt my heart immediately skip a beat. I had wanted to go say hi, but before I knew it, people were swarming round me and Will had disappeared. And then I was too scared to break away from those people to find him. The way they spoke about him when he was around was horrible and I knew that if I went to talk to him they would say the same about me.
My happy mood vanished and I was immediately annoyed with myself. I was a coward. I hadn’t even told my parents I was gay. I knew mum wouldn’t care, she wouldn’t love me any less. But my dad was a different story. It wouldn’t surprise me if he banished me from the house. Just the fact that I liked to draw made him awkward about me. But even if I told them that would mean everyone else would know and...I don’t think I could handle all my team knowing. I groaned and put my arm over my eyes. Why was I such a fucking coward?
There was a knock on my door. "Yeah?" I said without moving.
"Hey, sweetie," mum said as she opened my door. "You alright?"
"Yeah, mum, I'm okay," I smiled. I sat up and she sat at the end of my bed.
"Sure?" she asked. This was my chance to tell her, I knew, but I couldn’t.
"Yeah," I smiled.
"Okay, well dinner's in 15 minutes," she said and I nodded and smiled. She kissed me on the cheek and then left. I lay back down and Will came back into my mind. I smiled slightly. I imagined kissing him and was amazed by my body's reaction. I tried to will away the bulge in my jeans but it wasn't leaving. "Chad, honey, dinner!" mum shouted from downstairs.
"Shit," I muttered. Okay, think of a turn off. Um... I moaned in frustration. The only thing in my mind was Will. He wouldn’t leave. Okay...grandma...hmm, that worked.
I went downstairs and saw mum and dad sitting at the table. I smiled at them and sat down in my usual place. "How was school?" dad asked and I shrugged.
"My team and I all got detention for skipping yesterday morning," I said as I ate some mashed potatoes.
"But you guys needed the practise," he said. It had been dad's idea that we skip those lessons. He had suggested it while Max was over as well and so Max immediately jumped at the idea. I hadn’t thought it was such a good idea, we didn't need the practise we were already state champions, and the time we spent in detention could just as well have been used for practise. I didn't reply to my dad's remark because I knew we would get into an argument. "Oh, Coach Tennison phoned earlier," dad said and I looked up. Tennison was our football coach.
"Oh," I said, trying to sound interested. To be honest, I didn't care much about football anymore. My passions, my aspirations, had changed.
"He said that scouts from universities were coming to watch your state championship game," he said and my heart immediately sank but I didn't let him see that.
"Oh, cool," I said, trying to feign enthusiasm.
"So for the next couple months I want you practising nearly every night," he said. "You're probably a top candidate for a scholarship." I smiled slightly and nodded. I glanced over at mum and saw she was frowning slightly at me. I smiled weakly at her and then continued eating while dad went on about how amazing it would be if I got into Loughborough. I didn't want to tell him that that was the last place I'd want to go. I didn't want to tell him I wanted to go to UCL to study Art.
I endured dad's comments for the next half an hour and then escaped by saying I had homework to do. I sat up in my room, wishing I could talk to Will. I searched on the computer on Facebook and Myspace for him, but he didn't seem to have an account on either. How many teenagers don’t have a facebook or a myspace? Will was different in so many ways and I loved that about him. I knew none of my friends would have his number and I didn't know anyone else that knew him. I guess I'd just have to wait for school tomorrow. I went on facebook and saw Max had left me a message.
Why were u talking to that guy
for so long in detention?
We needed your help with the
team strategies. Captain.
I rolled my eyes. I never wanted to be captain. They all voted me in, so they can't very well have a go at me for not doing it properly. I didn't even bother replying. I didn't have to defend myself against Max. He was the biggest idiot I have ever met. I changed into my boxers for bed and then turned the light off and lay staring at the ceiling. I thought about Will again and my body had the same reaction as last time. I closed my eyes as stroked myself and thought about Will. I didn't last long.
The next morning I drove to school and parked in my usual space. I noticed Will's car was already here and smiled slightly. I was slightly embarrassed about what I had done last night, but I was also thrilled as well. I wanted to find him and talk to him but I knew I had to be subtle about it. I went to my first class, which was English. Will was in this class as well, but so was Max, so I had no hope of talking to him. I got there early and sat in my usual seat, half way back. When I saw Will come in I immediately sat up straighter and watched him. His black jeans were tight and showed his amazing body. He wore a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his blazer was over one arm. As we were year 13, we no longer had to wear the school uniform, but we had to wear our blazers. I smiled slightly and licked my lips. He saw me and smiled and I smiled back. He walked passed me to his seat at the back of the room and as he did, he dropped something on my desk. I picked up the white folded paper and opened it, my heart racing.
I can't stop thinking about you. X
I stared at the words on the paper, my heart hammering in my chest, ready to burst out and tell Will I feel exactly the same way. I didn't want to stop looking at the 6 words and the x at the end but I knew I had to other wise Max might see it. I folded it carefully and put it in my blazer pocket right above my heart, which was begging me to turn around and kiss Will.