And She Was Strong.

Lily’s keys jingled in her pocket as she walked out of the shop and out to the car. It was somewhat of a late night, tonight, though she would trade as many late Friday nights as she had to for the price of arriving home just a bit later. She’d get up at three in the morning to be at work on time to open the shop if it meant that she would be able to have a Friday night spent alone.

Her phone went off. It was a text message.

Hurry and get home.

It was from Jeremy. She didn’t feel like telling him that she’d be there soon, because he already knew that she would. She never told him otherwise.

That night, it was warm. It was the perfect temperature, one where it wasn’t cold in the least bit, but not too hot, either. The night was still young, although it was nearly seven o’clock; the sun was just beginning to set, as it was the summer and the sun always sets later than when the winter takes the city.

Daylight was still alive, albeit scarce, and all that Lily had to look forward to was Jeremy, waiting for her to get home so he could fuck her until her breathing became difficult. Lily’s insides squirmed and she stared at her shoes.

Don’t cry, she thought desperately, or you won’t be able to stop.

“Lily!”

She thought she had heard her name being called. But she wouldn’t turn around. Just keep walking.

“Lily!” the voice came again; it was closer this time, and loud footsteps came thundering toward her. What else could she do? Run away? The footsteps were too close, and continuing walking would do her no good whatsoever. So she stopped. Soon after, the footsteps did, too. She could feel a presence behind her, but she still did not turn.

“Lily?”

Wait, she thought. Her mind was suddenly alive. Is that who I think it is?

“Matty?”

She looked up at him, stunned. Her eyes were as wide as the world right then, and he saw right through them into a feeling that made her feel like crying. He didn’t worry about her crying, though. He didn’t worry about anything other than holding her.

“I missed you,” he said.

Her features bloomed; her face was alight, her eyes were brighter than stars. She jumped into his arms. Nothing could have felt more right than being with Matthew right then, right when she felt so lonely and afraid. As soon as she felt him hug her back, she forgot entirely about the message that Jeremy had sent her. She forgot about it all, and didn’t care about remembering it. Her mind was on fire, and she felt like she was burning up from the inside, out.

“I didn’t know you were coming back today,” she whispered. “I thought it would be longer.”

“We’re playing a show here tonight,” Matthew whispered back, though he wondered why either of them were speaking so quietly. Maybe it was just the fact that they didn’t want to disturb the quietness of the whole night, or take away from that feeling of belonging that both of them held. “I want you to come.”

Her senses flared; everything about her felt like it was on fire, burning and blazing until her entire body went numb with a passionate heat. She knew that no matter how badly she wanted to go with Matthew, she wasn’t allowed to. She just couldn’t. He didn’t need to know why, though she was almost certain that he would ask her why. She didn’t want to explain. She didn’t want to do anything but be held by Matthew right then, feeling his heartbeat pumping in his chest through her own. She wished that she could slow down her own to match his, so that they could be so in sync with each other that the whole world just stopped and left them alone.

She planted a kiss silently on his left cheek, her arms still wrapped tightly around his neck. Matthew was so unorthodoxly happy that he couldn’t even think to return the favor. He just smiled, staring down at her through his sunglasses. He was betting that right then, he looked like the biggest cheese the world had ever known. Although Lily didn’t seem to mind it… she was a bit preoccupied with other things, at the moment.

“Matty…” she began. Once she started, she didn’t really know how to end it. She didn’t know if she even could end it, whether it would be just too hard to do.

“What is it?” he asked. His heart picked up just a little, and Lily noticed the change.

She bit her lip and looked away. “I… don’t think I can come tonight.”

“What?” he asked, dumbfounded. “What do you mean ‘you can’t come’?”

She felt like she was being a horrible friend right then. She didn’t want to deny Matthew anything. She didn’t want to let him down, make him think less of her, or tell him ‘no’ in any way. But she couldn’t give this to him. She couldn’t stay away from home. “I just can’t. I already made plans tonight, I can’t break them.” She wanted to cry again. “I’m so sorry. I wish that I would have known.”

“But…” he trailed off. He pulled off his sunglasses so he could get a better look at her, so he could really see her better. “…I just got here.”

He just couldn’t get it through his head why she would want to do anything else but see him right then. He didn’t want to sound conceited, as his thoughts often did, but it wasn’t his intention. Matthew really had missed Lily, and he knew that she’d missed him, too, perhaps more than he had. And he couldn’t understand why she couldn’t accompany him; she could just drop her plans, just come with him and everything would be perfect in the world again.

“Please, Lily.” He sounded like he was begging. Lily felt like such a selfish whore. She didn’t want him to think that of her, but she knew that he would when she had to return home to Jeremy. She really hated herself right then.

“Matt,” she pleaded with him, “I wish that I could go. I want to more than anything, I do. But I’m not allowed to. I just-”

“Why can’t you come?” He cupped her face in his hands. “Just tell whoever you’ve made plans with that your good old friends have all come back home, and you can’t miss seeing them tonight. Whoever it is, they’ll understand. I promise.”

She could feel herself giving up. He was getting to her, Matthew was. His way with words was profound and persuasive and she positively hated it. But, at the same time, she loved it. She loved everything about Matthew.

She couldn’t tell him ‘no’.

“Are you sure?” she asked him. “My plans are actually pretty important-”

“They’ll be fine,” he smiled. He knew that he would win. He just knew. “You can talk to them later. Okay? Come on, just for tonight. Hang with them later, just come and see the show.”

His smile was priceless and bright, and Lily was just too weak.

“Alright,” she caved, though a smile had found its way on her own lips. “I’ll go.”

As Matthew led her to his car, and as she got inside and buckled her seatbelt, and as he pulled off toward the concert, she thought back to Jeremy’s text message. She thought of it, and- oddly enough- felt a rebellion inside of her that was strong and as formidable as Matthew was. Maybe it was just because of his presence, that which made her feel so fantastic and impossible.

Hurry and get home.

Not tonight, she thought silently. Not tonight.