And She Was Strong.

Matthew had been gone for a little over an hour and a half, doing exactly what he had set out to do: he met with fans for what felt like a lifetime. Although it had not trulybeen that long, it was simply Matthew’s mind focusing itself solely on Lily. Sure, it was great hearing what the fans had to say, telling him how much they loved his music, how great it was to have the band back in their hometown… But all that he really wanted to do was get back to the bus and meet up with Lily again.

The band had been informed that after they all had completely finished whatever it was that they had to do after the show, they would all report back to the bus so that they could be dropped off by said bus at each of their homes in the Huntington Beach area. Matthew hoped that the bus hadn’t already left without him, though he was fairly certain that those already on the bus wouldn’t leave him there alone; even theyknew better than that.

“I’m sorry, everyone,” Matthew apologized half-heartedly to the massive group of people crowded around him, “but I’ve kind of got to leave… I wish I could have met all of you, but I’ve got to leave.”

A few of the younger girls made whining sounds. They must have been ‘die-hards.’ The others just cheered for him.

Matthew smiled. “Hope I’ll see you all again next tour!”

The crowd cheered even more, and allowed him to return back the way from which he came. Hardly any argued or were sour about his departure; for this, he was grateful, as he really didn’t want to seem like a bad guy for leaving all of them. He kept telling himself that if it had been any other night, if he’d seen Lily more than he had, he would have stayed longer. And he was right, he probably would have.

But the fact of the matter was that it wasn’t any other night. Tonight wasn’t any other night, because he hadn’tseen Lily more than a half an hour at the most, and he certainly didn’t want to waste any more opportune time that could be spent next to her.

Matthew was just so completely and utterly hopeless.

He began making his way back to the parking lot where the tour bus was parked. Along the way, a few people waved, a few fans passed him and congratulated him with their sparkling reviews, and a few of the tour support guys gave him a nod and told him they’d had a great time working with Avenged Sevenfold on tour. He thanked all of them.

When he finally made it back outside, he noticed that, while many of the lights on the tour bus were on, there were quite a few that were off.

He entered the lock combination on the bus door and walked in. Inside, he found everyone sitting around, having a few beers, talking over the sound of the TV show on; he guessed that, as Johnny was the only one really watchingit, it was likely Ninja Warrior.

Lily lay beneath Jimmy’s arm, smiling. She didn’t notice that Matthew had just walked onto the bus, she just continued talking to everyone around her. Her emotions ran across her face like wildfire, spreading gladness throughout.

“Hey.”

Matthew was greeted by Brian, the first to take note of Matthew‘s recent appearance. “What’d everybody say?”

Everyone turned their eyes upward at this, looks of astonishment coating their features. They didn’t realize he was there. He just looked at all of them, then just to Lily. And then he looked at everything again.

Matthew shrugged at Brian’s question. “Dunno. They just said they loved the show, I guess. What they usually say.” He smiled a little at the conceitedness of his statement. A lot of the things he said sounded that way, but he didn’t mean for them to. It was ironic at best.

Lily’s face lit up completely. Just being near him brought a smile to her face.

God, she had been so lonely.

“Matt,” she said, patting the empty space beside her on the couch, “come sit.”

He nodded, trying his best to hide the smile that was threatening to creep up onto his face. Matt walked over toward Lily and sat down beside her. He took her hand without even realizing he’d done it. He rubbed the back of it with his thumb, off in a world other than the one everyone else was in.

Lily smiled, glancing down at him. He was what she had missed; he was what she had needed for so long while Jeremy was still around. And she was glad to have Matthew there beside her, even if she knew that he wouldn’t be there forever due to his changing social scene and all of the responsibilities he was obligated to fulfill because of his job. Lily knew that he loved what he did, and that made her happy, too… But she really couldn’t lie to herself and say that she didn’t need him there beside her, too.

Lily knew how selfish she sounded to herself. She knew that there were so many other people that were more deserving of his time than she was; it’s not like she was blind to this. But she couldn’t help but long for him whenever she so much as saw him.

It was hard for her to control herself when he was so close.

The others chatted amongst themselves, and after a half an hour or so, Jimmy, Brian, Johnny, and Zachary had all gone outside for a smoke. They had invited both Lily and Matthew, but they knew better and didn’t press when they both declined the offer.

“No thank you,” Lily told them with a shy smile, “I’ve never been much for smoking.”

Jimmy looked pointedly at Matthew. “You coming or not?”

Matthew reflexively shook his head. “Nah,” he said, “I’m all good.”

As the others walked off the bus, he caught Jimmy glancing back at him, a knowing look streaking over his features. Immediately, Matthew made sure that Lily had not seen it; with a sigh, he noticed her observing the ends of her hair, inspecting them for split ends, no doubt.

Once the door had closed, Lily turned her eyes upward to meet Matthew’s. She smiled at him, and he smiled right back. It wasn’t awkward; it was comfortable and loving.

Love, Lily thought, maybe that’s what this is.

Her hand was still gripped firmly in his, though it was calm and kind. And Lily was happy with herself right then, happy with the night and what had occurred. She was happy that Matthew was home, she was happy that she was reunited with all of her friends. Lily was content. She was at peace.

And Matthew felt like he’d been smiling since he got home. He missed the city, he missed the feeling he got when he drove down the road and saw the beach, and of course, he had missed Lily. In fact, though he would never admit it, he had missed Lily most of all. That thought remained continuous in the back of his mind, a thought that he wished to God never existed, but he couldn’t help but realizing the fact that it was there. It wouldn’t leave him, and he knew that eventually, no matter how long he denied its existence, that thought would grow until it took over him.

He wondered what would happen then, what would happen when he truly understood the fact that he was in love with Lily. He wondered what would happen when he started showing it, when he started to want to tell her. And, what he wondered most, was what would happen when Lily got married; at the rate it was going, a year and a half of consecutive and continuous dating, it was evident that Jeremy would soon propose. How would Matthew deal with that once there was this love that hung off of him whenever he was around Lily? How could he?

Perhaps that was the real reason he was so depressed all of the time: because he was beginning to recognize that emotion he felt whenever he thought of her. And he’d just fall even deeper into that darkness that he was living in until he couldn’t even see. Even Lily couldn’t save him then.

“I missed you,” she told him.

He laughed. “You’ve said that so many times today,” he laughed. “You must have really missed me, I guess.”

“I have,” she said.

Lily stared at him only a moment longer before reaching over and pulling off Matthew’s sunglasses. He stared at him, her eyes wider than any Matthew had ever seen. She had these big blue eyes and she looked almost like she was about to cry; they were all watery and beautiful. But she didn’t cry, and so Matthew was left astonished and wondering how she got to be so gorgeous all of the sudden.

“You look the different,” she commented. “But that’s alright. You’re still the same old Matt.”

He smiled. “You look different, too.”

“Is it alright?” she asked him. “The difference, I mean.”

That was the thing; she looked just different enough so that he could tell something was wrong with her. He could tell that something was just slightly changed from what he had known Lily to be before he left. And as much as he loved Lily, he couldn’t tell her the truth.

So he lied, just like he always did.

“You look great.”