Hell and High Water

It’s unknown as to where you go when you die. The majority prefer to believe in heaven, that when we die we all float off towards the sky, where we receive a shiny halo and a pair of soft, feathery angel wings, and then upon entering the gates of heaven, we are assigned a cloud where we are seated upon until further notice.

If you believe in heaven, then it makes sense to believe in hell also. Hell is the opposite of heaven, where you are treated gently and with care. If you go up, you’ve earned your place there by being good all of your life. If you end up going down, clearly your life was a very different story.

Hell is the home of torture. It’s filled to the brim with the very worst human beings to ever walk the earth. Each of them sold their soul to the devil the second they committed their first sin, and so when they died, they were destined to spend the rest of eternity in the fiery pits of hell itself.

Unfortunately for Kris Coombs-Roberts, he had just become hell’s latest inhabitant.

He had landed outside a castle. A very tall, sinister looking castle at that. It looked nothing like the show off ones that were dotted around the UK. This one was the colour of charcoal and a couple of skulls were stuck to the walls. Kris shuddered just looking at it.

“You need to knock,” a very unfamiliar voice broke through Kris’ terrified thoughts.

His head whipped around to see a tall man standing to the left of the large, heavy looking door. He wore a black cloak and his face was wrinkled, a pair of glasses was sitting on the end of his nose. His appearance was almost nothing out of the ordinary, apart from the tiny, sharp looking horns sticking out of his forehead.

Kris stared at him in disbelief. “Where am I? What happened? I was just in the car and – “ he trailed off. He couldn’t remember anything after furiously driving along the empty roads, the radio blasting in his ears and heavy rain pouring onto the windscreen, faster than the wipers could remove it.

The man rolled his eyes and knocked sharply on the door, which was opened only seconds after his hand had left contact with it.

Kris swallowed hard and took a small step forward. The demonic looking man standing before him glared, tapping his foot impatiently. He hesitated, chewing his lip, wondering if it would be best to turn and run.

“Just go!” The man exclaimed in annoyance.

His anger seemed to spur Kris on and before his thoughts could protest, his feet had taken him over the threshold of the door and he was standing in a very grand, yet eerie room. His eyes swivelled around, taking in the blazing fire, roaring away in the fireplace, to the pokers that were neatly stacked beside it. He gulped, knowing exactly what they were used for.

“Aah, Kris Coombs-Roberts!” A loud voice boomed from Kris’ right. He spun around to see a huge red and black velvet chair, in which Lucifer himself was seated on it.

“W-w-why am I here?” Kris asked, curiosity lacing his tone, alongside fear and anxiety. He had so many questions and no guts to actually spit them out and get some answers.

“You’re here for what you did, my boy.”

Kris frowned, annoyance taking over, quickly erasing his fear and curiosity. “What did I do?”

“You killed yourself, along with your best friend.”

His frown deepened.

The devil rolled his dark eyes. No one ever understood why they were sent to hell. Everyone always thought too highly of themselves, and so they always protested their innocence, claiming that the suicide was for the benefit of someone else, or they stole because they were desperate and that particular old couple were rich anyway, or that murder was all in the name of justice.

So he stepped down from his comfortable, velvet chair and pointed his gnarled fingernail at Kris. “You, Kris, murdered your best friend. Of course, it was probably unintentional, we are all aware of your undying love for him. I suppose that love died when you both flat lined in the hospital.”

“I don’t – “

“March eleventh, two thousand and nine! You were annoyed! In fact, you were livid! Neil had decided not to go to that party you were throwing. The party for Funeral For a Friend leaving to go and tour the UK! So of course, when you found out he was busy with his girlfriend, whom he adored, you got yourself a case of the green-eyed monster. So you drank. You drowned your sorrows. Everyone told you to stop and go home, and that’s exactly what you did, but instead of walking, like your good friend Ryan suggested, you got into your car and you drove. You got so wound up over Neil that you drove too fast. Unfortunately, Neil’s car was coming the other way when you lost control and skidded onto the other side of the road. Both of you were killed instantly.”

Kris’ jaw dropped open slightly. “I killed him? Where is he then?”

“Heaven. That is where all the victims go.”

“I have to see him.”

The devil’s eyes rolled again. It was a wonder he wasn’t dizzy with the amount of three hundred and sixty degree turns his eyeballs did. “Very well. You have half an hour. I’ll send a message to the heavens and I’ll send you to the scene of your deaths.” And with a wave of his hand, the scenery around Kris melted and he was standing beside an empty road. Everything was familiar now.

He looked around, wondering if anyone would see him standing there if they were to walk by and drive past in their car. He spotted a few bunches of bright flowers attached to the bottom of a street lamp. He walked over and read one of the cards attached to a bunch of rain splattered lilies. Of course they were in Neil’s memory. Kris wouldn’t be surprised if all the flowers and cards left at the scene were for Neil. It was his fault he was dead anyway.

“Kris.”

He turned around to see Neil standing a few feet away from him. He was dressed head to toe in white, the faint hint of a golden halo hovered above his head and there seemed to be a glow surrounding his entire body. He looked simply angelic, aside from the glare etched into his face.

“You killed me, you bastard,” he spat.

“I never meant to! If anything, that was the last thing I wanted,” Kris pleaded, desperation evident in his tone.

“Course not. That’s why you were jealous. You were jealous of my girlfriend! What is wrong with you? Seriously, Kris. You could’ve just talked to me, instead of slaughtering me,” Neil’s glare softened slightly.

“I didn’t mean to kill you! It was an accident and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry’s not gonna bring us back though, is it?” He glanced at the flowers tied to the street lamp and sighed heavily. “I don’t hate you. I do blame you though.”

Kris inhaled deeply and took a few long strides towards Neil. “What will it take for you to stop blaming me? I just wanted you to love me.”

“I did! But as a friend and nothing more. I was in love with Jen. I still am, being dead doesn’t change that.”

“I can change your mind.” He leaned forward as if he was going to kiss Neil.

The latter jumped away as though Kris had electrocuted him. “In your dreams, Kris.” He clicked his fingers and disappeared into thin air.

Kris looked up to the sky. “You can’t change the way I feel, Neil! Nobody can!” As soon as those words escaped his lips, the scenery around him returned to the sinister room in the devil’s castle.

The devil was now seated in his chair, he clapped his hands together in pure amusement and smiled to himself. “Oh very entertaining, Kris. I think you’ll fit in perfectly here,” he waved his hand and two tall, horned guards were standing either side of Kris, “take him to the torture chambers.” He cackled evilly as Kris was dragged away by the guards, screaming words of protest as they did so.

The devil smirked to himself. “Oh, I love my job.”