We Were Right From The Start

After about an hour I decided to go home and relieve Sue from looking after Sam. I walked through the front door and went into the living room. Sue was watching television but Sam was no where to be seen. "He went to bed, he was tired, the poor mite," she said softly and I nodded. "There were several phone calls in the last hour. All from Liam? He asked me to tell you to phone him." I nodded, but had no intention of phoning him.
"Sue, you've got to let me pay you," I said, because she had once again refused to accept payment.
"No, I just want to help you guys out," she said and I smiled.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it, if I can ever do anything for you, just ask," I said and she smiled and nodded and then left. I went up to Sam's room. He was fast asleep on his bed. I silently closed his door and then went downstairs again and into the living room.

I sat on the sofa and just stared out the window. As I sat, tears built up again and fell from my eyes. How could I have honestly believed he liked me? I should have known he wouldn’t want someone like me, he'd want a blonde Barbie. I wiped at my tears but more replaced them within seconds. I gave up, fell sideways and lay on the sofa, staring at nothing.

When my eyes opened again, I realised I had been asleep. "Frankie!" someone shouted. This is what had woken me up. I went to the front door and saw Liam through the glass.
"Go away!" I shouted back but he didn't move.
"Frankie, please open this door," he said desperately. His voice tugged at my heartstrings, but I wouldn’t, couldn’t, let him back in. I reached out for the door handle and opened the door slowly. "Frankie-"
"Please leave me alone," I interrupted him. I didn't want to listen to what he had to say. I didn't want him to mangle my heart any more than he already had.
"Frankie-" I shut the door on him and then went upstairs. He didn't ring the door bell, or knock or shout any more. I think he knew when to quit. I went and lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I looked at the clock and saw it was 6.30. I decided to go and check on Sam, considering he was still quiet.

I went and sat on his bed and he rolled over and looked up at me. "Is mum home?" he asked me and I frowned.
"No, sorry, honey," I said. He sat up and crawled into my lap. Nothing more was said, we just held each other, lost in our own thoughts. Soon, I knew that Sam was asleep but I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet. I held him close to me and then when the room was getting dark, I lay him back in his bed and let him go to sleep. I then went back to my room and got changed into pyjamas and then got into bed.

I stared into the darkness thinking about Liam. I hated myself for not seeing through him, for believing he was different, special. He was nothing special, he just wanted a top grade and to win some money. That night I had an uneasy sleep and I woke up frequently because of a bad dream I couldn’t recall.

The next morning, I decided not to go into school. Besides, I couldn’t ask Sue to babysit again, and I wasn’t big on the idea of seeing Liam. So instead, I hid under my duvet and went back to sleep. At 7.30, the doorbell rang. I got out of bed and looked down. I saw Liam looking up at me, hope in his eyes. I looked back coldly for a short time and then closed my curtains and went back to bed. Minutes later I heard a car outside speeding away. I ignored the pain in my chest and closed my eyes and forced myself to think about something else. I couldn’t.

I sighed and got out of bed and went downstairs to make breakfast. Only a few minutes after I had gotten downstairs, Sam came down. "Aren't you going to school?" he asked as he sat at the table.
"Nope, I'm having the day off with you, what do you want to do?" I asked him and he smiled. "Do you want to go to the cinema? Or the park?" I noticed the twinkle of excitement in Sam's eyes and commended myself on putting it there.
"Can we see The Wild?" he asked, clapping his hands. I laughed and nodded.
"Of course, eat breakfast and get dressed and I'll check what times it's on," I said and he nodded and quickly ate the cereal I had put in front of him.

On the internet I found that The Wild was on at 11.45. We had time to get the bus there and buy sweets and stuff before it started. At 10.30, we were ready to leave the house. Sam and I walked down the road to the bus stop and waited only 5 minutes for the right bus, which took us straight to the cinema. The bus trip was 35 minutes, so we still had plenty of time, but I knew Sam was picky so we had a lot of time for him to choose sweets.

Once he was sorted with his decision, it was half past 11 and they were admitting people into the screen. Sam and I went and got our seats which were half way up in the middle so we had a good view. And I knew that this wouldn’t be busy, it being a Thursday and midday. I was right, there was only about 10 other people in the place. But it was good, it meant that Sam had a good view of the screen.

Throughout the movie he sat close to me, often holding onto my arm. I knew that this is what mum usually did with him when nursery wasn’t on. I knew I needed to get mum home soon.

After the movie finished, Sam and I got the bus home. Sam fell asleep on the bus so I carried him back up the road and to my house. When we got home I saw a familiar car outside my house. I sighed but continued towards it. When I was only a few metres away, Liam climbed out of his car and walked round it to get to me. "Frankie, you have to listen to me," he said but I just walked away.
"No I don’t," I said over my shoulder. I was worried about waking up Sam. I got to my front door but couldn’t get my key out of my pocket because both of my hands were in use holding Sam. I sighed and regretfully turned to Liam. "Can you help?" I asked him, not sure if he would or not. He nodded, as though keen to prove he could. "My key is in my front pocket, can you get it out?" I asked. Liam looked into my eyes and then nodded. He reached towards my left hip and then went into my pocket, his hand brushing against my skin. My heart was racing and I hated myself for it. Liam got the key out and then opened the door for me. "Thank you," I said and walked through. Liam followed me in and I couldn’t say no because he had just helped me. "I'll be right back," I said and walked upstairs and put Sam softly into his bed.

I went back downstairs after several deep breathes. "What do you want, Liam? Want me to get you an A in Geography? Write you an essay? What?" I asked and he glared at me.
"Frankie you know I did just as much work on the presentation as you did," he said angrily. I had to admit to myself, that he was right.
"Why are you here then? You got your A*, what else do you want from me?" I asked him.
"You," he said and I stopped. He stepped towards me and softly brushed his knuckles down my cheek. "Frankie, I just want you. I love you." I finally got control and took a step backwards. I saw hurt and rejection flash across Liam's face.
"Don't say that, I know it's a lie, you're just saying it, trying to make me believe you, just like you did last week, so that I will do work for you," I said angrily.
"That's not true, Frankie!" he said, also angrily.
"I...I can't..." I sighed and looked at the floor. "Just leave me alone, Liam," I said resignedly. He set his jaw.
"Fine," he growled and stormed out of the house. The front door slammed and I crumpled to the floor and sobbed into my hands.