We Were Right From The Start

The next morning I got up at 7 to get ready for school. It felt weird not having to get Sam ready for nursery or to make him breakfast. I sighed and got myself a cereal bar and then started the walk to school. It wasn’t too far, I usually walked anyway. It was just the last week that things had changed. I sighed, annoyed at myself. Why do I make myself think about him? Why won't I let myself forget about him? I knew the answer to that but I didn't want to say it. Not even to myself. Not anymore.

A car pulled up alongside me and I knew who it was before I even looked. I turned and looked through the window. "Just let me give you a ride to school," he said and I frowned. School wasn’t that far away, but, against my better judgement, I wanted to spend time with Liam. I nodded and got into the car slowly. I looked over at Liam and saw him smiling slightly. I looked away and out of the window. The journey was silent and I couldn’t help but feel awkward. I hated that. I didn't want to feel awkward around Liam. Of all the people in the world, he was the person who I would talk to about anything.

When we pulled into school and Liam had parked I slowly got out of the car. Liam came round the car and stood in front of me. I looked up at him but I didn't know what to say. He looked down into my eyes sadly and then brushed my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry about everything," he said simply. "I really am." Then he walked away, leaving me in slight shock. I wanted him to come back, I realised. I wanted him to come back so that I could say I forgave him.

I didn't see him the rest of the day because he was at a rugby tournament all day. I wished I had said something this morning. I was tempted to text him but I realised that this was something I wanted to say to his face.

Dom gave me a lift home after school, before he and Mandy went to the cinema on a date. I smiled at them and then went inside, however, I stopped on the doorstep when something caught my eye. Dom and Mandy had driven off already, so I just picked up the small package and went up to my room. I glanced at my phone and saw I had a text from Liam. Sorry I couldn't give u a lift home. X I smiled slightly. I then turned my attention to the wrapped rectangular parcel. It was addressed to me, but it just said, 'Francesca' on the front, not my address, so someone had dropped it off. I opened it and a small square of card fell out first. I picked it up and read it,
This was £50, the amount I won from Brad when we won the bet.
I hope it helps you to see who I really am.
All my love,
Liam. X
I pulled out the object that was inside and saw it was a silver frame, engraved with hearts. Inside there was a picture of Liam and I when we were 5, hugging and grinning at the camera. I smiled and tears came to my eyes. He was...that was the real him. I knew it. Finally, I decided to phone my mum, to tell her that Sam was with Gran and Granddad and that I had the most amazing boyfriend in the world.

I went downstairs and found the address book we kept of all our friends' numbers. I found Anne and phoned her number. "Hello?" she said when it connected.
"Hi, Anne, it's Francesca," I said happily. I was suddenly in the best mood that I had been in for days.
"Oh, hi, honey, are you ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, is my mum there, please?" I asked and Anne hesitated.
"Sorry, Frankie, I haven’t spoken to your mum in weeks," she said and ice flooded my veins.
"But...she said she was going to stay with you a while..." I said, my heart racing with fear.
"Sorry, I haven’t seen her," she said, worry in her voice. I frowned and looked around me, as though hoping to find some clue. I did, but it wasn’t the clue I wanted.

Everything in the room was wrong. Where were mum's favourite mugs? Where were mum's shoes that she left by the backdoor? "Frankie?" Anne asked in my ear, but I just dropped the phone and rushed into the living room. Where were her glasses and book that always stayed next to the sofa for when she had to watch films with Sam? Where were her pictures of Gran and Granddad that were usually on the windowsill? I ran into the bathroom and flung open the cupboards. Where was her favourite soap? Her favourite perfume? Tears sprang into my eyes and I slammed the doors shut and ran up to my parents bedroom. I knew it was different even before I properly looked around. Mum's bedside table was bare, the picture of me and Sam was gone. I went to the wardrobe. One half of it was empty. My heart was racing. There had to be something of hers left... Tears ran down my cheeks as I searched in vain for something, anything, of hers. I just sank down to the floor next to the bed and sobbed. I tried pressing my face into the pillow and blankets on mum's side of the bed, but her smell had gone. I curled myself into a tight ball and cried and cried.

The next thing I knew, dad was standing at the doorway looking down at me. "What are you doing in here?" he asked angrily. I stood up shakily and glared at him.
"It's your fault!" I screamed at him and his face paled. "She left because of you! She hated you so much that she would rather leave you than look after me and Sam! This is all your fault! I hate you!!" I pushed passed him, grabbed the photo from Liam and ran out the house. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have anywhere to go. I could go to Mandy's but her parents were really strict and didn't allow sleepover's on school nights, no matter the situation. I couldn’t make it all the way across town to Dom's house. That left one person.

Twenty minutes later, I rang the doorbell of a house I hadn’t been to in 10 years. I prayed that he hadn’t moved. A familiar woman opened the door. "Francesca!?" she cried as she took in my appearance.
"I-is L-Liam here?" I asked between sobs. She shook her head.
"He's not back from rugby," she said and I let out another sob. I had nowhere to go now. "You can wait for him if you want." I looked up at her and smiled gratefully. She moved out of the way and I walked passed her into the house. It was exactly how I remembered it. A small smile flickered over my face briefly. "Do you need anything? Can I help?" she asked soothingly but I just shook my head. She nodded and motioned for me to go upstairs. "You can wait in Liam's room if you like. Do you remember where it is?" I nodded and smiled slightly.
"Thanks," I managed to get out. She smiled and then I went upstairs.

Liam's room was exactly how I remembered it except it now had several trophies and medals along one shelf. I looked at them and smiled slightly. I then went and lay on the bed. I curled up on my side, facing the wall, hugging the picture of Liam and me to my chest. Would she ever come back? Would I ever see her again? She's gone... I couldn’t control the sobs that overwhelmed me for the next few hours. Liam's mum didn't come in, and I was more than grateful for that. The darkness grew around me as time passed and eventually the room was dark except for the light coming from under the door.

While I was still sobbing uncontrollably, the door opened behind me and there was a pause before it was shut again. I felt the bed sink under new weight and then Liam wrapped his arms around me and curled himself against me. I moved slightly and pressed my back against his chest and gripped his arm, which was tightly around my waist. I continued to cry, but miraculously, I found my tears slowing down. I thought at first it was because I was tired and had run out of tears, but I knew that, really, it was because Liam was with me. "She's gone," I whispered, almost to myself, but I wanted him to know as well.
"I'm so sorry, Frankie," he said softly. He didn't need to ask who I was talking about. He knew. He may have even figured it out before. We lay silent for a while and Liam gently stroked my arm.
"What am I going to do?" I whispered into the darkness. "I can't leave Sam with my grandparents. And...mum won't be back for him or she would have come already. How am I going to go to university if I have to look after Sam?"
"Frankie, listen to me," he whispered and I closed my eyes as I felt his warm breath against my neck. "You are going to be fine. Both you and Sam. You are going to go to uni, Sam will be perfectly fine. You could talk to your grandparents, they may even want to look after him."
"But...I can't ask them to do that," I said.
"They might want to," he said. "You don’t know unless you ask." I sighed and nodded.

Liam then leant up on his elbow and I rolled onto my back and looked up at him hovering over me. He gently wiped away the remainder of my tears. "Do you know how I found out?" I whispered. He shook his head. "I was phoning to tell her that I was happy because I was in love. I wanted her to know, to be happy for me, with me. She ruined it..."
"No," Liam whispered and gently stroked my cheek. I looked up into his eyes. "She'll only ruin it if you let her. You can be still be happy, Frankie." I looked up into his eyes and smiled.
"I love you," I whispered and Liam smiled tenderly.
"I love you," he whispered back and then kissed me tenderly.