When No One's Watching

The next morning I woke up unnaturally early, at about seven. Considering it was a Saturday, I wasn’t too happy about being up before ten. I stared at the ceiling for a while before stepping out of my warm cocoon and trudging into the bathroom. I pulled my hair into a messy, high ponytail and sighed. Once again, I had forgotten to take off my mascara before bed. I wasn’t used to wearing a lot of make up, and I often wore it to sleep and woke up with raccoon eyes. Today was no exception.

After washing my face, I made my way slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen. My parents were already up and drinking coffee, the morning paper spread across the table.

“Good morning, honey,” My mom greeted me as I grabbed the orange juice.

“Good morning,” I replied sleepily back. I poured my juice and placed the carton back in the fridge.

“You’re up early, do you have any plans today?” My mom asked me. She always wanted to know my business.

“No, Kendra and Tanner are out of town,” I replied.

“Oh, that boy,” My mother replied thoughtfully and I smiled.

“Yeah, that boy, mom,” I mocked her lightly.

“Well, since you’re not doing anything today maybe we could go shopping,” She suggested. I refrained from groaning, but before I had a chance to decline, my dad spoke up for the first time that morning.

“Or better yet, we should head to the gym and we can work on your offense. I noticed that at your last game that needed work,” My dad said gruffly.

“Really dad? I just want to relax today,” I said, trying my best not to whine.

“We need to work on it, Sam, state tournament is coming up and you need to improve,” My dad was firm, “You turn over the ball too many times.” I sighed. There was no way I was getting out of it.

“Ugh, fine, but can I have the morning to myself?” I asked, hoping he would at least grant me that freedom.

“Sure, be home by one and we can head over to the gym,” He said, and with that, he turned back to his paper.

“I’m gonna shower,” I mumbled and raced back up to my room.

After I showered, I dressed in jeans and a shirt from last year’s tournament, and headed out towards my car. I was going to Paul’s. My damp hair was cold against my head as I entered my favorite store, cell phone in hand. Adjusting to the warmth, I looked up and met a pair of friendly blue eyes.

“I knew you couldn’t stay away from me,” Finn greeted me. I laughed.

“Sure,” I replied, “I really just wanted to get away from my over controlling dad.” I didn’t know why I told him that, but it just slipped out, but strangely, it didn’t change the atmosphere.

“Oh,” Finn paused, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I guess,” I found myself saying. Finn and I walked over to the armchairs nestled in the front corner of the store. I curled up into the chair and sighed. Finn sat across from me, watching.

“It’s pretty simple,” I said after minutes of silence.

“What is?” He asked.

“The thing with my dad,” I replied, staring out of the window. There was left over snow on the ground, made crusty from the sand and salt, and melted down from the sun. “He wants me to be this huge basketball star, but I don’t love it like he does,” I state, still looking out at the street. We sat in silence for a little bit longer.

“What do you love to do?” Finn asked.

“Huh?” I asked.

“If you don’t love basketball, what is it that you love?”

“I really don’t know, and that’s what worries me. I don’t know,” It was weird for me to say that, because I’d never really thought about it before. I’d never admitted to myself that I had no idea what I loved to do. Basketball was ninety percent of my life not devoted to schoolwork.

I noticed a ladybug crawling around the edge of a lampshade. Every time it moved one of it’s fragile legs, it looked like it was ready to fall all the way off. I began to feel sorry for it. It was drowning in air. And then I realized that it was exactly like me. I’m drowning in my life.