Never Trust a Crow

The lights from the ghost-like streets did nothing to soothe my fear. The fear of moving. The fear of strangers. The fear of the unknown. I hate being afraid. I want to make everything go away. I want to go back to the grimy streets where I was born, where no monsters lurked, where I was safe, where I found out who I was. Moving has shifted my identity. I don’t know anything anymore. Life has become a blur. I’m lost, but I can’t ask for help.

I never would’ve thought that the graffiti infested streets of Jersey would be so comforting. I seemed so indestructible back then. I had no fears. But now as I glance out at the streetlights of Tokyo everything seemed to fit in a different place. I was starting on a blank board. This was a new puzzle, but I didn’t have a picture to look off of. How will I piece it together?

The condensation stayed glued to the window as we raced through the barren countryside. Sure Japan was one of the most beautiful countries I have seen, but I didn’t even speak their tongue. I’m feeling completely out of my element, but there’s no one to run to.

My dad and I moved to lovely Japan for a change of scenery, a new life. But did we really need to move to the other side of the world for a new start? When I stepped onto the plane on Jersey soil my only thought was ‘would my hair stand on end because Japan is on the opposite side of the globe?’ but now all the questions keep flowing into my head. What will my so-called mother do now that we aren’t there as her crutch? Why me? And the ever so famous, will I fit in?

I looked at my dads face. His face has never looked so old. His dyed black hair stuck up on end and showed traces of balding. The wrinkles on his face were colored in with deep shadows from the night sky. Hollows lie beneath his forest green eyes like black holes you see in outer space. Sure he was a nice guy but he has been quiet ever sense his marriage with my mom plummeted.

The streets of Tokyo didn’t seem to fit as a place to start over. Everything seemed alien and upside down. Now as I look back I think that Tokyo is a magical place, a playground, and a place where the wolves lurk. The sun was brighter there, and after the rain, rainbows were more vivid. Almost scary like a storybook. Nothing scares me now though. You just have to watch out for the crows. You can never trust them.