Welcome to the Dark Carnival

A Battered and Beaten Soul

Sitting on the couch between Monoxide and Madrox, I didn't really get much of a chance to dwell on my sorrows. Madrox was busy trying to hit on me, which none of his advances worked and Monoxide was just being nice, trying to keep me happy. J and Shaggy were acting like waiters, handing me all the things I wanted for the day. Alex and Rob just watched, hoping that being around friends would keep me from my sorrow, even if it was only for a little bit. "so you guys are on Psychopathic?" I asked Monoxide. "yeah, we just recently got signed and we're really excited to get started" he said with a little grin. Monoxide was a really thin little individual and when you put him next to Madrox, he looked even skinnier. He had this adorable smile and it was the kind that reached his eyes. Monoxide got his name from the fact that he was the biggest chain smoker I've ever met.

As for Madrox, he was a fat kid. He had the biggest appetite I've ever seen and had a pretty chubby face. Next to Monoxide, he looked gigantic and looked like he'd crush Monoxide. The thing that the both of them had in common, was the fact that they were both very sweet guys. Madrox was loud compared to Monoxide, but they also were funny. "Hannah, this has been bothering me since last night. How come your father was arrested the first time?" asked Shaggy. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "He threatened my mother back when I was around 3. I walked into the room and saw his hand crushing her windpipe. He was yelling at her, calling her a whore and that I was going to be a dirty little slut like she was. He was also a gambler, we lost most of our money because of it. That's how the arguement began. My mother confronted him and he lost it. You want to know what's sick? I came into existance because he raped my mother" I explained, lifing my head up to see their reactions.

Monoxide had dropped his cigarette into the ash tray and sat there with a shocked expression on his face. Madrox was fuming and clutching his hands into fists while J and Shaggs tried to keep calm while Alex sat there. Rob got up and hugged me, wiping the tears that I hadn't realized had been rolling down my cheeks. "My father, he also burnt down our first home, hoping he'd kill my mother and I" I muttered as I hid my head into Rob's shoulder. In a matter of moments, the guys all started to hug me. "Shit Hannah, we didn't realize shit was that bad in your life" muttered Alex. "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger I suppose" I said as I pulled away from the guys and left the room. "J, do you want to go talk to her or should I?" asked Rob. "Why not us?" asked Monoxide and Madrox at the same time. "I think there's something J and Rob would like to bring up to Hannah" said Shaggy.

Monoxide and Madrox nodded, sitting back down. "I'll go" said J as he left the room. "How does one child manage to suffer through all that?" asked Monoxide. "I have no idea, but her father is a bastard for putting her through all that shit" spat Shaggy. "Yeah, and at a young age too" said Alex. "I have a feeling there's a lot more to this whole chaotic story" Rob said. "What do you mean?" asked Madrox. "She's not telling the story to completion. Delibrately leaving parts out" Rob explained. "How can you tell?" asked Monoxide. "Easy, she's showing resistance to the story. You can see she hesitates when she tells the story, as if asking herself if she wants us to know or not" said Shaggy. Rob nodded and the faces of the guys grew grim. "Maybe J will get it out of her" said Alex softly.

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Somehow I had made it up onto the roof and I sat there, staring at the night sky. The wind grew cold, nearly chilling me to the bone, as it blew past me. My tears had dried upon my cheeks and now felt like frozen rivers. The stars didn't seem as bright as the usually do and the moon seemed to be weeping. 'Maybe it's just my perception of the world due to how I'm feeling' I thought as I nearly jumped when the sounds of footsteps reached my ears. Turning around slowly, I saw J standing behind me, his eyes full of concern. "Why?" I asked as he sat down next to me. "You seemed sad. Actually, that's not the correct word for this situation. More like depressed" he said. I didn't say anything, just turned and looked back at the sky. A moment of silence was passed before J broke it. "My brother, sister, and I were molested" he said.

Those words made me whip around and stare at him. "Who?" I asked, my voice shaky and cracking. "this guy my mother was with at the time. His name was Lester. We called him Lester the Molester" said J. I didn't know what to say so I just did what my heart told me to do, which was to rest my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear that...my father..." I started, but felt tears well up and I ended up with a shaky voice. "When I was 16, he broke out of prison and ended up at my house. My mother wasn't home and I knew there was something wrong with him being here. He had grabbed my hair and slammed my head into the wall. He punched my stomach and told me that I was nothing more than a filthy little slut, his favorite thing to call me. My pain brought him pleasure as he grinned and then started to punch me. Grabbing his belt, he whipped me until I was bleeding on the ground. After that, he started to rip my clothing off" I said, sobbing at this point.

J, who had moved so he could see my face, rubbed my back while hearing my tale. "I tried to fight back, but he only ended up leaving a gash in my head. He started to grope me with his filthy hands and laughing as I cried. My father raped me at 16. After he finished, he left me there on the ground. My mother had to rush me to the hospital. It was there I stayed for about a month because I was in a coma for 2 weeks. When I awoke, I had been told I was pregnant with my father's child" I said, sitting up and wiping the tears.

The look on J's face seemed calm, but his green-blue eyes showed hatred and anger, not towards me, but towards my father. "What of the baby?" he asked, trying not to snap at me. "I went back to school after another month. In gym, I had been shoved onto my stomach and ended up miscarrying" I explained, finally letting J envelope me into a hug. "That bastard will never get to you. I swear on my life Hannah. We won't let him" he said as I slowly fell into unconsciousness.

Violent J's POV

I stared down at Hannah's unconscious body. She was about 5'5" and had to weigh no more than 100 pounds. The stress of her life had made her very thin and frail looking, but under that lied a heart that wouldn't give up. She had been determined to life her life, despite the horrible cards that she had been given. Here she lied in my arms while my anger flared. Her innocence had been stolen so many times, her emerald eyes had seen way too much, and when we first met her, she seemed like a shell. Hardly talking, hardly making contact, just hoping for a job. This girl had been to hell and back. As I picked her up to bring her inside, her sweatshirt sleeve rolled up to show me a tattoo that read 'Life isn't glamorous, but I refuse to give up'. 'she's strong willed, that much I am thankful for' I thought. Truth be told, I had almost expected to see razor cuts and gashes from self-mutilation, but I am glad I didn't see any such things.

Once I got inside, I put her down on the couch while Madrox watched me. "So?" he asked. He was curious about the girl, and I didn't blame him. This girl had suffered so much and she is a living testament to show you can make it through the hard times. "Her life fucking sucks man" I said, sitting on the chair next to her. "Care to explain?" he asked. I shook my head. "She should tell you on her own. What she told me, I can't tell to you. It's her story, let her tell it on her own terms" I said. Madrox nodded before heading off to find somewhere to sleep. Looking over at Hannah, I couldn't believe how I had hated her because of a fear that was rightly justified.
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