Love Like Cyanide
An Awkward Environment
I felt weird just standing there, now inside the house. Inside the house of the man that raped my mother and then fathered me (except he really wasn't considered my father or a father at all for that matter).
I set my bag down on the wood paneled floor. It had all the necessities in it: a couple pairs of clothing, a tooth brush with some tooth paste, underwear, bras, socks, and of course, my ipod. Yes, I considered my ipod a necessity. Without music I'd literally just die. The current tunes on my ipod were by My Chemical Romance, Three Days Grace, and Evanescence. And don't you dare call the bands Emo or I Goth! If you do I'll seriously have to skewer your eyes out with a spork.
Derrik spoke now. "Um...why don't I take your bag?" It was plenty clear that he was either embarrassed somewhat with his daughter-of-the-woman-he-raped-once-upon-a-time standing in his house or awkward. All the same, I knew he didn't want me here any more than I wanted to.
I found it impossible that he and Kathryn still talked at all and shared me as if they were just married but divorced. I wondered if he felt bad for it or just felt the responsibility to help out somehow. Highly doubt it though.
"No," I told him, "I can carry my own stuff." I didn't really intend it to be a mean response (okay, maybe just a little) but I saw him flinch a bit.
"Fine. Let me show you to a room where you can stay." He guided me through the hallway and then up the stairs. Like the outside, the house was just as nice but more in a I-have-money kind of way and not I'm-super-fancy-and-have-classy-taste. Class? Pfft. Definitely not something he'd have.
As we walked through the hallway I could see into the living room. It was a warm orange color but I think it was mostly from the glow of the lit fire. Most of the furniture were shades of brown and mahogany. Derrik walked to fast, making me struggle to keep up with him so I couldn't see was pictures he had framed on the walls of the living room.
Was he seriously the only one living here? There were five rooms upstairs. Unless they weren't all bedrooms.
The room he stopped in front of was at the end of the hall. He reached out and poked the door. "This," he said, "is your room." He pointed to the door a couple doors down from mine. "That, is my room. Meaning you don't go in there...ever." He turned to me with cold eyes and demanded in a stern voice, "Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah. I understand." I held up three fingers like a girl scout did before they recited the Girl Scout Honor (I was never in GS, so it was more of a mocking gesture). "I promise."
He pushed open the door without taking his narrowed eyes off me. I walked past him into the room. I set my bag down gently on the bed that had a blue blanket and white pillow on it. I sat down slowly and cautiously. I looked back at Derrik to see him watching me carefully.
"Comfy," I told him.
He cracked a tiny smile for a brief second and said, "I'll tell you when dinner will be ready."
And that was that. He left and didn't bother me for the next couple hours. Too bad Kathryn wasn't this easy to live with. She would constantly be checking on me to make sure I didn't climb out the window to meet with my friends (in truth it was just friend whom was my neighbor Mark).
It wasn't like she was checking on me because she cared about me and didn't want me getting in trouble, she just always thought I was up to no good and couldn't trust me. I have no idea what gave her that idea. I never did anything wrong. I had fairly good grades (only one or two D's here and there) and never got suspended or expelled. And I never talked or even joked about doing anything violent and/or dangerous.
I was listening to The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance on my ipod and playing air guitar when I heard someone clear their throat loudly and knock on the door. I spun around immediately to see Derrik standing in the door way with an amused look on his face.
I pressed "pause" and removed the headphones from my ears.
"Food's on the table," he said to me.
"'Kay. I'll be down in a minute."
He nodded and descended through the hallway and back down the stairs.
I set my bag down on the wood paneled floor. It had all the necessities in it: a couple pairs of clothing, a tooth brush with some tooth paste, underwear, bras, socks, and of course, my ipod. Yes, I considered my ipod a necessity. Without music I'd literally just die. The current tunes on my ipod were by My Chemical Romance, Three Days Grace, and Evanescence. And don't you dare call the bands Emo or I Goth! If you do I'll seriously have to skewer your eyes out with a spork.
Derrik spoke now. "Um...why don't I take your bag?" It was plenty clear that he was either embarrassed somewhat with his daughter-of-the-woman-he-raped-once-upon-a-time standing in his house or awkward. All the same, I knew he didn't want me here any more than I wanted to.
I found it impossible that he and Kathryn still talked at all and shared me as if they were just married but divorced. I wondered if he felt bad for it or just felt the responsibility to help out somehow. Highly doubt it though.
"No," I told him, "I can carry my own stuff." I didn't really intend it to be a mean response (okay, maybe just a little) but I saw him flinch a bit.
"Fine. Let me show you to a room where you can stay." He guided me through the hallway and then up the stairs. Like the outside, the house was just as nice but more in a I-have-money kind of way and not I'm-super-fancy-and-have-classy-taste. Class? Pfft. Definitely not something he'd have.
As we walked through the hallway I could see into the living room. It was a warm orange color but I think it was mostly from the glow of the lit fire. Most of the furniture were shades of brown and mahogany. Derrik walked to fast, making me struggle to keep up with him so I couldn't see was pictures he had framed on the walls of the living room.
Was he seriously the only one living here? There were five rooms upstairs. Unless they weren't all bedrooms.
The room he stopped in front of was at the end of the hall. He reached out and poked the door. "This," he said, "is your room." He pointed to the door a couple doors down from mine. "That, is my room. Meaning you don't go in there...ever." He turned to me with cold eyes and demanded in a stern voice, "Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah. I understand." I held up three fingers like a girl scout did before they recited the Girl Scout Honor (I was never in GS, so it was more of a mocking gesture). "I promise."
He pushed open the door without taking his narrowed eyes off me. I walked past him into the room. I set my bag down gently on the bed that had a blue blanket and white pillow on it. I sat down slowly and cautiously. I looked back at Derrik to see him watching me carefully.
"Comfy," I told him.
He cracked a tiny smile for a brief second and said, "I'll tell you when dinner will be ready."
And that was that. He left and didn't bother me for the next couple hours. Too bad Kathryn wasn't this easy to live with. She would constantly be checking on me to make sure I didn't climb out the window to meet with my friends (in truth it was just friend whom was my neighbor Mark).
It wasn't like she was checking on me because she cared about me and didn't want me getting in trouble, she just always thought I was up to no good and couldn't trust me. I have no idea what gave her that idea. I never did anything wrong. I had fairly good grades (only one or two D's here and there) and never got suspended or expelled. And I never talked or even joked about doing anything violent and/or dangerous.
I was listening to The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance on my ipod and playing air guitar when I heard someone clear their throat loudly and knock on the door. I spun around immediately to see Derrik standing in the door way with an amused look on his face.
I pressed "pause" and removed the headphones from my ears.
"Food's on the table," he said to me.
"'Kay. I'll be down in a minute."
He nodded and descended through the hallway and back down the stairs.
♠ ♠ ♠
I took out this one lame joke in the beginning that was after the phrase Without music I'd literally just die. After that I put: I'd commit suicide. I would probably just have to eat myself ('cause I'm cyanide, get it?). But I took it out 'cause it was seriously not that funny. Haha.Comment and/or subscribe please! I'll try to update every other day if not every day.