Sequel: Running With Scissors ›
Those Worse Off Than You
Part 111
He was sleeping, but he twitched and rolled around as if he were in a nightmare. I watched in wonder as he turned from side to side, wondering what was going through his mind. He had a troubled look on his face, that realized had been there for a very long time.
"Ace," I called quietly, tapping his shoulder lightly, waking him as he looked up in shock, a single bead of sweat forming on his forehead. "You were dreaming," I stated, sitting at the bedside.
He stared at me silently for a few minutes, half in shock, half in despair, before he laid his head back on the pillow. "Why couldn't I have just died," he stated, turning his glance to the ceiling and swallowing as a lump formed in his throat.
"Because- it's not your time. You need to be here."
"Well, now I just screwed up the rest of my life. I'll be lucky if I don't land myself in a mental hospital. Or on medication everyday for the rest of my life. I'd rather just die now. If I were on a plug, I'd gather the energy to pull it myself. Please... I need an escape. I need to get out of here... away from myself."
"I've got an idea."
"You don't understand. I... don't feel comfortable in my own body. I can't deal with the things I've seen and done. And I know that there is no way I will be able to get rid of those memories... and that will be the only way to make me happy. I just.. can't be helped. I can't fix the broken."
"Ace, just let other people try to deal with this okay, you're not a hundred percent yourself right now, nor are you sane. So just hang in there, you'll be okay. I'm gonna go get you some things and I'll be back in the morning. Take care you yourself, alright?"
"Wait... no, Jayde, don't go.. please."
"I'll come back first thing in the morning. I promise, okay. I'm going to go get some stuff that I hope will make you feel a bit better, just hold in there. I'll be back."
He nodded. " Okay... okay... alright, go."
I smiled, "Okay?"
He nodded. "Alright- I'll see you in the morning. I'm going to hold you to it."
"I'll be back."
"Okay... okay," he stuttered in a storm of sighs and nods.
"Ace," I called quietly, tapping his shoulder lightly, waking him as he looked up in shock, a single bead of sweat forming on his forehead. "You were dreaming," I stated, sitting at the bedside.
He stared at me silently for a few minutes, half in shock, half in despair, before he laid his head back on the pillow. "Why couldn't I have just died," he stated, turning his glance to the ceiling and swallowing as a lump formed in his throat.
"Because- it's not your time. You need to be here."
"Well, now I just screwed up the rest of my life. I'll be lucky if I don't land myself in a mental hospital. Or on medication everyday for the rest of my life. I'd rather just die now. If I were on a plug, I'd gather the energy to pull it myself. Please... I need an escape. I need to get out of here... away from myself."
"I've got an idea."
"You don't understand. I... don't feel comfortable in my own body. I can't deal with the things I've seen and done. And I know that there is no way I will be able to get rid of those memories... and that will be the only way to make me happy. I just.. can't be helped. I can't fix the broken."
"Ace, just let other people try to deal with this okay, you're not a hundred percent yourself right now, nor are you sane. So just hang in there, you'll be okay. I'm gonna go get you some things and I'll be back in the morning. Take care you yourself, alright?"
"Wait... no, Jayde, don't go.. please."
"I'll come back first thing in the morning. I promise, okay. I'm going to go get some stuff that I hope will make you feel a bit better, just hold in there. I'll be back."
He nodded. " Okay... okay... alright, go."
I smiled, "Okay?"
He nodded. "Alright- I'll see you in the morning. I'm going to hold you to it."
"I'll be back."
"Okay... okay," he stuttered in a storm of sighs and nods.