Sequel: Running With Scissors ›
Those Worse Off Than You
Part 50
My mother is an understanding person. She placed her flowers on the dresser and left without a word, leaving me feeling completely odd.
It took a long time for Ace to settle down enough for me to understand what he was saying. All he said was, "I'm sorry," over and over.
"Sorry for what," I asked, confused. He relpied by saying it again.
I sat him down on the bed, trying to get him to settle down. But it didn't work. He was shaky and nervous. By the time I got him to settle down, he had cried himself to sleep.
It wasn't until after I had called my mom, telling her I wouldn't be home till later, that he woke up. "Hello," I greeted with a smile.
He just looked up at me strangely; as if he were a child. He looked empty... hollow, maybe scared. I imagined him a small child wearing this expression hiding in a closet; away from his father. I quickly shake the thought away.
"Are you feeling better," I asked.
"I'm sorry. I've made your life so difficult," he replied miserably.
"We already had this discussion."
"I know," he started. "But I just... I dunno- I feel guilty I guess. I just wish my life could have gone differently- we could have met another way. Maybe things would have been different."
"Of course they'd be different. But you wouldn't be you."
"But I don't want to be me. I want to be a ghost."
"No you don't."
"I dunno. All the words in my head are all scrambled. I can't think straight..."
"Well, that's alright," I stated, ruffling his hair. He smiled. It wasn't big; more like the tweak of his lips. But it made me smiled my first real smile that evening.
It took a long time for Ace to settle down enough for me to understand what he was saying. All he said was, "I'm sorry," over and over.
"Sorry for what," I asked, confused. He relpied by saying it again.
I sat him down on the bed, trying to get him to settle down. But it didn't work. He was shaky and nervous. By the time I got him to settle down, he had cried himself to sleep.
It wasn't until after I had called my mom, telling her I wouldn't be home till later, that he woke up. "Hello," I greeted with a smile.
He just looked up at me strangely; as if he were a child. He looked empty... hollow, maybe scared. I imagined him a small child wearing this expression hiding in a closet; away from his father. I quickly shake the thought away.
"Are you feeling better," I asked.
"I'm sorry. I've made your life so difficult," he replied miserably.
"We already had this discussion."
"I know," he started. "But I just... I dunno- I feel guilty I guess. I just wish my life could have gone differently- we could have met another way. Maybe things would have been different."
"Of course they'd be different. But you wouldn't be you."
"But I don't want to be me. I want to be a ghost."
"No you don't."
"I dunno. All the words in my head are all scrambled. I can't think straight..."
"Well, that's alright," I stated, ruffling his hair. He smiled. It wasn't big; more like the tweak of his lips. But it made me smiled my first real smile that evening.