The Jocelyn Letters
Fat Bastards Will Rule The World...
Just another one of those days. I'm so sick of the sumpathetic looks I'm getting from everyone. They think I'm worthy of it, therefore I need it. How wrong they are, eh Milo?
Ryan and I went to see Framing Hanley yesterday. They guys all recognized me from when you and I went to see them before. They asked about you and said they're sorry to hear about your death. They also said they'd beenplanning a shirt to help prevent drunk driving. Your name, along with quite a few others, is going to be on it. And I'm getting one for free. Those guys are pretty damn cool.
Treatment... it hasn't gone too well the past few times I've gone. The psychiatrist has basically told me to just forget about you completely. That's just impossible. If we had been the type of siblings who positively hated each other, then I might've been able to. But no, we were twins who did pretty much anything and everything together. I'm grateful for that, to be honest with you.
And Maria. That girl just screams "Shoot me!". She makes crude remarks about me being in love with you in the middle of class. It gets dead silent as everyone waits for my reply. "He was my only family left," is all I ever say about it anymore.
Auntie abandoned me the day she married that scumbag. He thinks that I'll do what he tells me to. Yeah right, that'll happen when pigs fly. I've taken to staying the night with Mikey, Jullian or Ryan whenever possible. That or I have them stay the night. Which ever is the safest on that day. Usually we all sleep here, unfortunately. That bastard tried to come in and rape me again the other night.. Boy did he have a surprise when Ryan and Mikey both rose from the bed and beat his ass. It was pretty damn funny, considering he's the size of both of them combined.
So I'm not exactly sure where I stand with Ryan. I know I love him, and I know he loves me, but there's still a lot of uncertainty there. But I know you. You'd tell me not to worry about it because Ryan really does care about me. I'm right, aren't I, Milo? Course, I know I'm right. I also know I'm still talking to my dead twin brother. No wonder half of the people at school think I've lost my bloody mind. It seems that the only ones who understand are Ryan, Jullian and Mikey.
Then again, all three of them have been through some sort of hell themselves. I've come to find that there is a lot more in their pasts then they've let on before. It amazes me when I find out something new about them. The same goes for when they learn something new about me. Which there is an awful lot of, eh? There are things that not even you knew about me... yeah, sorry about that.
I miss you so much, Milo. The others only understand so much about the loss that I feel. Nobody around here truly understands how much you meant to me aside from Auntie. And since she has pretty much abandoned me, that leaves nobody who really understands. There are so many days that have gone by when I wished that I could have one more chance to keep you from going out. I really think I might've been able to stop you had I tried any harder. Who knows for sure though? I might not have been able to stop you. But I feel the slightest bit of comfort knowing things might have been different if I would've tried just that slightest bit harder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let it go. It's in the past and there's nothing I can do to change this. Sometimes, I think of you when I make a decision. I always double check my answer to the one you would have made in the same situation. It's saved me from getting into trouble quite a few times. It seems like I always see your face or hear your voice when I think I'm about to make a bad choice. It's almost as if you're watching over me to keep me safe.
I've got to go. Auntie's forcing me to go the grocery store to restock eht kitchen. That bastard of a man goes through practically everything in little under two weeks. Then he blames it on me, Ryan, Jullian and Mikey, when we all know how little all of us eat when we are home, let alone antwhere else. That bloody man is going to fuck up so badly one of these days, and I'm gonna laugh so bad because he'll get caught.
Anyways, I don't know when I'll be able to write again, Milo. But this isn't hte last time I'll write to you, I promise.
Much love, as always,
Jocelyn
Ryan and I went to see Framing Hanley yesterday. They guys all recognized me from when you and I went to see them before. They asked about you and said they're sorry to hear about your death. They also said they'd beenplanning a shirt to help prevent drunk driving. Your name, along with quite a few others, is going to be on it. And I'm getting one for free. Those guys are pretty damn cool.
Treatment... it hasn't gone too well the past few times I've gone. The psychiatrist has basically told me to just forget about you completely. That's just impossible. If we had been the type of siblings who positively hated each other, then I might've been able to. But no, we were twins who did pretty much anything and everything together. I'm grateful for that, to be honest with you.
And Maria. That girl just screams "Shoot me!". She makes crude remarks about me being in love with you in the middle of class. It gets dead silent as everyone waits for my reply. "He was my only family left," is all I ever say about it anymore.
Auntie abandoned me the day she married that scumbag. He thinks that I'll do what he tells me to. Yeah right, that'll happen when pigs fly. I've taken to staying the night with Mikey, Jullian or Ryan whenever possible. That or I have them stay the night. Which ever is the safest on that day. Usually we all sleep here, unfortunately. That bastard tried to come in and rape me again the other night.. Boy did he have a surprise when Ryan and Mikey both rose from the bed and beat his ass. It was pretty damn funny, considering he's the size of both of them combined.
So I'm not exactly sure where I stand with Ryan. I know I love him, and I know he loves me, but there's still a lot of uncertainty there. But I know you. You'd tell me not to worry about it because Ryan really does care about me. I'm right, aren't I, Milo? Course, I know I'm right. I also know I'm still talking to my dead twin brother. No wonder half of the people at school think I've lost my bloody mind. It seems that the only ones who understand are Ryan, Jullian and Mikey.
Then again, all three of them have been through some sort of hell themselves. I've come to find that there is a lot more in their pasts then they've let on before. It amazes me when I find out something new about them. The same goes for when they learn something new about me. Which there is an awful lot of, eh? There are things that not even you knew about me... yeah, sorry about that.
I miss you so much, Milo. The others only understand so much about the loss that I feel. Nobody around here truly understands how much you meant to me aside from Auntie. And since she has pretty much abandoned me, that leaves nobody who really understands. There are so many days that have gone by when I wished that I could have one more chance to keep you from going out. I really think I might've been able to stop you had I tried any harder. Who knows for sure though? I might not have been able to stop you. But I feel the slightest bit of comfort knowing things might have been different if I would've tried just that slightest bit harder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let it go. It's in the past and there's nothing I can do to change this. Sometimes, I think of you when I make a decision. I always double check my answer to the one you would have made in the same situation. It's saved me from getting into trouble quite a few times. It seems like I always see your face or hear your voice when I think I'm about to make a bad choice. It's almost as if you're watching over me to keep me safe.
I've got to go. Auntie's forcing me to go the grocery store to restock eht kitchen. That bastard of a man goes through practically everything in little under two weeks. Then he blames it on me, Ryan, Jullian and Mikey, when we all know how little all of us eat when we are home, let alone antwhere else. That bloody man is going to fuck up so badly one of these days, and I'm gonna laugh so bad because he'll get caught.
Anyways, I don't know when I'll be able to write again, Milo. But this isn't hte last time I'll write to you, I promise.
Much love, as always,
Jocelyn
♠ ♠ ♠
Well...I think it's past time for an update on this. I've been thinking about it a lot more lately, and the more I think about it, the more I wanna make it into an actual story. I just don't know if I'll be able to keep it going long. Tell me what you think?