Dreaming of Acceptance

"How long were you here?" I asked.
"Since this morning. After breakfast I came down here and waited, I really want to know what the reason is." he said the smile gone.
"Well," I sighed and sat next to him on the grass. "Other than the fact that I did not want you to treat me like nobility, I wanted to get to know you better without the 'princess' coming in the way of things." I replied.
"But it still gave you no right to lie." Nicholas looked at me.
"You are incredibly right. I shouldn't have lied but you wouldn't have thought of me other than the title I have." I explained.

"I would've treated you like a normal person." he said.
"I wish I would've known that from the beginning." I replied.
"Ignorance was bliss." he sighed.
"Why?"
He looked away from my face, at the ground, and began running his hand over the blades of grass. "Why?" I asked yet again.
Nicholas sighed. "It was only because, I thought you were like the rest of us. I could see you anytime I wanted, get to know you. Instead you turn out to be the principessa and I was stuck not being aware that I was falling in love with you."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "I hadn't even realized, I'm sorry." I sighed and looked at the sky. "What the ironic thing is, is that I was absentmindedly falling as well."
"What?" I could tell he was looking at me.
I looked back at his face, then at the ground. "I was absentmindedly falling in love with you as well, and I don't know what to do ab-" and that was when I felt a hand slide under my chin and soft, warm lips press up against my own.
My eyes opened wide and I saw a glimpse of Nicholas' closed eyes as mine closed as well.

He pulled away after a moment and I could still feel the heat swarming through my body. The same warmth I felt in my hand and on my side as we had danced. How could that happen when the simplest kiss only lasted a few seconds?
"What did we get ourselves into?" I sighed.
"I don't know." he replied and leaned back against the base of the oak tree.
"Ugh!" I leaned back and my back hit the grass. "and now I still have to get married to that no-good, vain Lord Marco."

"Which I find to be an excuse for your parents insecurities about how you're so independent. You don't need a husband to rule over the Senate as far as I'm concerned." Nicholas explained.
"I wish that was the cause." I said and put my hands to my face.
"What else do you wish for?" he asked.
"Absolutely anything and everything." I replied, chuckling.
"Like what?"

"About, how I could paint and not be told I can't."
"And you shouldn't be told you can't do something. It hasn't stopped me." he smiled.
"I know it hasn't." I smiled back. "If I could just get somebody to help me, that would be the greatest thing yet." I closed my eyes to try to block out the brightnesss of the sun.
I heard the grass shift and crackle and that's when I saw Nicholas sitting next to me. "How about, you come back here later tonight and I'll help you out with everything." he smiled sweetly.
"All right, but we can't get caught. My parents would have me locked in the castle like they had been for a few days." I warned.

"I'm willing to take that chance if you are." Nicholas replied.
I smiled at him, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." he said getting up.
I got up as well and looked up to his perfect face. "I'll see you tonight, love." he chuckled from the word and pressed his lips to my cheek.
I felt the heat run to my cheeks and I knew they were a deep pink color now. He chuckled and walked away, looking behind him ever so often to make sure he wasn't being followed. He put himself at risk just to come get an explination for deceiving him.

I looked around as well and finally sat back against the tree, pulled out my sketch book and charcoal, and began to draw different things that had popped into my head.
I saw a carriage being pulled up the dirt road to the castle. Lord Marco was back. I heard he'd left to go talk to his father yesterday but I was hoping it wouldn't be a short amount of time before he came back. Something bad was happening.

XXXXX

My room was still warm from the summer day and I already had my things hidden inside my clothes chest and I was just waiting for the sun to set. I closed the door and quickly went to my clothes chest and pulled out a pair of loose-fitting pants and a shirt to go over it. I was taking one of the biggest chances in my life right now, but since the beginning of the summer when did taking chances start to matter? Certainly not tonight, not after what I'd gone through to make my way back to Nicholas.

Things had gone particularly quiet today after I'd come back inside from drawing. Mother had caught me with the charcoal still on my hands. I wasn't expecting that she would let me go but she did. Something's up but I wasn't about to let that get in my way. I'd decided that I would worry about it later. My mind had wandered all day from what Nicholas might be doing right at that moment in time and what to draw next.

I made my way out the door of my room silently and slipped down the hall. Luckly, I didn't have to worry about my dress being in the way so I could run freely and be at the oak in no time at all. I walked down the stairs and out the back door. Clear here. I made my way over to the gate and opened it slowly and closed it quietly. Still nobody. I was finally home free, I ran across the field following the gate down to the old oak. It's branches were still reaching to the sky trying to touch the stars.

There sat Nicholas looking through the branches at the stars on a blanket layed out across the grass. I slowed my pace down and smiled as he saw me and a crooked smile graced his face. "There you are, I was waiting for you." he said.
"Sorry, I had to wait until sundown to come because of the guard and well, I knew I would be caught if I didn't come until now." I said and sat down next to him.
"It's all right, I was just sitting here, looking at the stars." Nicholas replied and looked back up to the sky. "So what did you want advice on?" he asked.

"I need help deciding what to do." I said and pulled the strap of my bag from around my body and put it next to me.
"And what's the dilemma and the choices?" he looked at me.
"An arranged marriage and the Senate, and to marry and let Marco rule, or to forfeit the crown and become my own person." I replied.
"A-ha." he said putting a hand to his chin and thinking for a moment. "Shouldn't there be a compromise? Maybe combining the two, like you ruling over the Senate but being able to paint and create your amazing pictures."

"If only it were that simple." I sighed.
"Well either way, you should know that I loved your picture of the fireworks and the stars, it was beautiful." he smiled sweetly.
I smiled to myself. "Thank you." I said looking at him.
"You're very welcome." he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
We sat there quietly, the only noise coming from the frogs and crickets and our breathing. My head was on his shoulder as we looked through the branches and into the night sky. I hadn't felt so at home in a long time.

Fireflies showed themselves out in the field, flying across the grass and slowly passing my vision and I smiled to myself. I could feel a set of eyes on me and I looked up to them and Nicholas was smiling at me. "What?" I chuckled.
"You're so beautiful." he smiled wider. "And you amaze me that you can sit out here and be so at peace. You're not like most nobility you know that?"
"I've been told it once or twice." I smiled. "And I'm glad you think I'm nice looking. Truely I don't really care for the way I look." I said and layed my head back on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of my head. "It's okay, I think you're beautiful, and you should too. We'll have to work on that." I could tell he was smiling.
"Try as you might, it probably won't happen." I chuckled. There was silence for a few minutes between us before I spoke again. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.
"What's going to happen soon, whether or not I'll be able to keep you." he chuckled.
"Why don't you just focus on what's happening now and not worry about tomorrow?" I yawned.
"Guess I'll have to work on that." I chuckled at his commment.

"What else?" I asked.
"How I think I might want to dance with you again." Nicholas replied.
"With no music?" I looked up at his face.
He smiled. "Music is all around, you just have to listen to it."
"Really?" I smiled slyly. "Why don't you show me then."
He moved his arm from around me and got up and then held a hand out to me. "Can I take over from here?" he smiled.
I smiled back and placed my hand in his. He helped me up onto my feet, pulled me closer to him, and placed a hand on my back making the warmth spread through my body again.

He smiled at me. "Now just listen and you might be able to here it."
I looked at our feet and listened carefully and soon the sounds of the night somehow joined together and made their own type of music. I smiled up at him and soon we were spinning in a small circle and dancing to the type of music that I had never thought to listen for.
We stopped sooner than I would've liked to by hearing him yawn. I chuckled, "Tired are we?" I smiled.
"Yes, actually, I had a long day." he replied.
"Well then, I might want to get back inside if you're going to fall asleep on me."

"No, please stay. Just this one night." he asked.
I thought about it for a moment, thinking over the consequences. "All right, one night." I replied.
He smiled at me and we sat back down on the blanket and he had an arm wrapped around my shoulders as I layed my head back on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and listened to the night's music as I slowly fell asleep next to Nicholas.

XXXXX

I woke up the next morning as the sky was just brightening. The sun was coming up. I heard hoofs on the dirt road just up a ways and then heard footsteps and talking. My eyes widened as I just realized where I was this morning after the most restful sleep I've had in nights. My hand lay upon Nicholas' chest and he had an arm still wrapped around me. I slowly found out that the clacking hoofs were coming closer.

Alarmed, I looked up to Nicholas' face and started to wake him up. "What?" he asked putting a hand to his face and letting it slide down once he looked at me, sleepily.
"You need to get out of here, Nicholas, the guard is coming." I replied urgently.
"What?" his eyes opened fully and soon he stood up and placed the strap of his bag over his shoulder.
"Please, just go I'll make it look like fell asleep drawing." I said.
"Okay, I'll see you later." he said and quickly pressed his lips against my cheek.

"Goodbye." I said as he ran through the field looking back towrards the dirt road occasionally watching for the guard.
I quickly got out my sketch book and charcoal and placed them above my head as I layed myself across the blanket. The hoof beats came closer until the stopped abruptly and I heard someone dismount and walk over to me. "Lady Dahlia? What are you doing out here?" I heard a member of the guard ask me.
I pretended to wake up and rub my eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. I think I fell asleep drawing." I replied.

"That's quite all right." the man replied. "C'mon, we'll get you back to your room."
"Oh, no that's quite all right. I'll get back myself." I told him.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I nodded my head and began gathering my things as the two men went on their way down the road. I folded up the blanket and went up to my room only to be on my way again as quickly as my feet could carry me to the bakery.