The Confessions of a Heart Broken Woman

When I returned home from the doctors office the morning I found out what we were having, Zack was at the studio with the guys. They were working on new material. I sat down on the couch with the house phone and dialed his cell phone number. He didn’t answer so I figured he was either busy or he left it in his car. I left him a message telling him I was home and to call me back when he could.

About an hour later, I was woken up from my nap to the phone ringing. I reach for it and just missed the call. Sighing, I rolled over my hand resting on my tummy I fell back to sleep. I woke up when Zack came rushing in, he came straight to me, I stared up at him scared at what was happening. I wasn’t sure what was going on.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yea baby why what’s wrong?” I asked. He gave a sigh of relief.

“You called and said to call you back but when you didn’t pick up I worried. So I rished home.” he said, he then crawled on the bed next to me. I had gone up to our bedroom after calling him. I cuddled up to him. “So how did the doctors go?” he asked.

“Great, the baby is growing perfectly. She has a strong heart beat, and she’s moving into position slowly everyday.” I said, dropping hints at what else I had found out. He nodded closing his eyes. They were closed for no more then thirty seconds before popping open.

“She?” he asked looking at me.

“She.” I said. He wrapped his arms around me tighter. Taking one hand he placed it on my tummy.

“I’m gonna have a little girl.” He said. His voice cracked I looked up and seen tears building up in his eyes. I wiped them away and told him I love him. We both fell asleep for another hour. When I woke up, I had to use the bathroom so I waddled down the hall to the bathroom. When I came out the door bell rang, thinking it was probably the guys checking up on us since Zack had left so quickly. I waddled down the hall more and opened the door. I was shocked to see Gerard standing there with Eric. Eric threw himself at me. I took him from his father and moved aside wordlessly to let them both in.

“I’m sorry to bother you.” Gerard said. “I just need to be around someone who I loved before they come for me.” he said. Confused, I looked Eric and was in shock when I finally noticed the stain on his shirt.

“Gerard what have you done?” I asked back away from him. He looked up to see the fear in my face.

“I killed her.” he said.

“Who?” I asked. I knew who he was talking about because there was no way in hell that Lindsay would let him take Eric.

“Lindsay. I stabbed her. I took Eric. I ran. We’ve been driving for days. No major highways only back roads.” as he spoke I kept walking backwards until my back hit the hall, then I slid down it. My best friend was gone and her murderer stood in my living room. I looked over when I heard Zack come out of the bedroom. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us. Eric got from where he was laying against me, and went to Zack who picked him up, Eric leaned his head against his shoulder. Gerard crumbled to the floor like did. He sat there staring at the floor. “Lily, I need you right now.” he whispered.

I crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. I couldn’t help start blaming myself. If I had been enough for him, if I had given him another chance then Lindsay would still be alive.

“I’m sorry.” Gerard whimpered. As I held him the police arrived surrounding the house, Gerard went willing knowing what he had done was wrong. He kissed his son good bye, walked out the front door with his hands held high. After the hand cuffs were put on him two officers came in to talk to Zack and I. after Zack gave his statement he took Eric back to our bedroom and laid him down on the bed. I was in so much shock at what had happened I didn’t know what to do. The police officer had me sit down the he took a seat next to me.

“Is she really gone?” I asked. He looked at me confused. “Lindsay is she really gone?” I asked.

“No, he stabbed her but an ambulance arrived and she’s in the hospital back in New York.” he said. I started to hyperventilate, tears were building up in my eyes, Zack came back out, Eric must have fallen asleep, he came to me and wrapped his arms around me. I held on to him so shocked that everything that had just happened was almost over nothing. That my best friend was still alive.

“Zack she’s not dead.” I whispered. He looked at me then at the officer that was sitting next to me. He nodded.

“Baby’s that great.” he said kissing my forehead. I nodded smiling up at him.

A few days later after talking to Donna, Zack and I flew to see Lindsay with Eric. Donna met us at the airport. Taking Eric from Zack she hugged his tiny frame to her.

“How was he?” she asked, holding him in one arm taking my hand in the other.

“He was great.” I said. We grabbed our bags then went to find Donna’s car. I sat in the back seat with Eric who was in his car seat. I wanted to Lindsay right way so we went straight to the hospital after the flight.

Walking into the main entrance of the hospital, a nurse came right over with a wheel chair. We all looked at her, Zack then asked her where we would find Lindsay. Confused, the nurse pointed at me then pointed at the main desk. Taking Zack’s hand I giggled once we out of ear shoot.

“I think she thought we were for the baby.” I said rubbing my tummy a little. He laughed with me.

We arrived, at Lindsay’s room, we could heard the TV on and one of her favorite shows was playing. We all piled into her room, she smiled at us, I went straight to her side and hugged her tightly. Bursting into tears, I pulled away looked at her and hugged her again.

“I thought you were gone, I thought I lost my best friend.” I whispered as I hugged her.

“No, I’m to stubborn to die. Plus there was no way in hell I was going to miss the birth of this baby.” she said placing her hand on my tummy. I giggled placing y hand on top of her and the baby kicked right against them.

“I’m glad you’re alright.” Zack said. She smiled up at him.

“Where’s Eric?” Lindsay asked. Donna had taken him home to change, because we had used the last of what we had on the plane. I explained that to her and she nodded. I took a seat on the edge of the bed holding her hand in mine. She told us what had happen that night. She told me that was the only time she ever scared for not only her life but Eric’s also. “What I don’t get is why he traveled all that way to you?” she asked.

“He stilled loved Lily.” Zack said. We nodded. “He needed to be around someone who had never in is whole life judged him.” Zack said. I looked at him.

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“Look at everything he’s done and said.” he said. I nodded understanding his point now.

When Donna got there, Eric smiled his first real smile in days. Lindsay took him and he curled up with her. I smiled at him.