Dude Looks Like a Lady
Chapter 15: The Start Of My Journey.
When Mikey told me to ‘start’, I didn’t know what he meant. Looking back, I’m sure he didn’t either. But I think what he meant was to start behaving like an adult and loving him, trusting him. Which, thinking about it, is the exact opposite of what we had agreed to do in some respects. Having agreed to behave as though not married, so we could further . It doesn’t matter though, because it made me think. Not something someone as impulsive, and as run by emotions as me does often.
I never considered marriage a journey to be honest. I don’t think many people do. But marriage is a journey. A journey of expression, love and maturity, and that’s just for you. It’s a journey of two people, battling everything (including each other) to support each other, to love each other and to mature together. A journey to show how two people can bring the best out of each other day after day, a journey of improvement. That’s why marriage is hard. It’s an endless journey. Day after day you journey. You don’t get a break. It’s like parenthood – but that’s a chapter of marriage.
My personal journey started that afternoon. Approximately one thirty pm, on October 16th 2007. It started with three people to witness it. Me, Mikey and Frank. Two people knowing witness and one clueless, but sensitive to the emotion of the moment. My journey of life entwined with another didn’t start on my wedding day, nearly ten months previously; on the 20th January 2007. It didn’t start with sixty people watching. It was a simple show of true affection and emotion between man and wife. Because we were just that: Man and Wife.
The start of my marriage was nothing to the rest of it. Mainly because I never count my marriage as starting those ten months; they were like the betrothal period in the middle ages. I don’t know if Mikey understood the importance of his words and I don’t know if Frankie understood what he was witnessing. I sure as hell knew neither.
For a threesome of innocents and naïve people we scrabbled through our journey respectably well. I say threesome, because Frank was like the third wheel in my marriage. When something went wrong, Frank would stick it back together. He was our glue, the gel. He knew both sides perspectives and he explained each. He never took sides, and spent many hours sorting out (for free) the mess that was his best friend’s love life.
For the most part Mikey and I managed well, we sorted many of our own problems and no – one was any the wiser. Marriage teaches you tolerance and patience. It teaches you that you have to work through problems. You can’t just walk out and leave it. You are bound to one another. Legally, religiously and, hopefully, emotionally.
Some of the fans were pissy about Mikey’s marriage. Some of them were great. Most people understood or had the sense to leave well alone. I was never stalked – I was too scary to stalk. It was no secret that I worked out, I went running with Ray and I practised, daily, my kick boxing.
The biggest person who was a problem to my marriage, especially in the beginning was Gerard.
I never considered marriage a journey to be honest. I don’t think many people do. But marriage is a journey. A journey of expression, love and maturity, and that’s just for you. It’s a journey of two people, battling everything (including each other) to support each other, to love each other and to mature together. A journey to show how two people can bring the best out of each other day after day, a journey of improvement. That’s why marriage is hard. It’s an endless journey. Day after day you journey. You don’t get a break. It’s like parenthood – but that’s a chapter of marriage.
My personal journey started that afternoon. Approximately one thirty pm, on October 16th 2007. It started with three people to witness it. Me, Mikey and Frank. Two people knowing witness and one clueless, but sensitive to the emotion of the moment. My journey of life entwined with another didn’t start on my wedding day, nearly ten months previously; on the 20th January 2007. It didn’t start with sixty people watching. It was a simple show of true affection and emotion between man and wife. Because we were just that: Man and Wife.
The start of my marriage was nothing to the rest of it. Mainly because I never count my marriage as starting those ten months; they were like the betrothal period in the middle ages. I don’t know if Mikey understood the importance of his words and I don’t know if Frankie understood what he was witnessing. I sure as hell knew neither.
For a threesome of innocents and naïve people we scrabbled through our journey respectably well. I say threesome, because Frank was like the third wheel in my marriage. When something went wrong, Frank would stick it back together. He was our glue, the gel. He knew both sides perspectives and he explained each. He never took sides, and spent many hours sorting out (for free) the mess that was his best friend’s love life.
For the most part Mikey and I managed well, we sorted many of our own problems and no – one was any the wiser. Marriage teaches you tolerance and patience. It teaches you that you have to work through problems. You can’t just walk out and leave it. You are bound to one another. Legally, religiously and, hopefully, emotionally.
Some of the fans were pissy about Mikey’s marriage. Some of them were great. Most people understood or had the sense to leave well alone. I was never stalked – I was too scary to stalk. It was no secret that I worked out, I went running with Ray and I practised, daily, my kick boxing.
The biggest person who was a problem to my marriage, especially in the beginning was Gerard.