Dude Looks Like a Lady
Chapter 17: Not Some Much Marital Arguments As Sib
Frank made very unsubtle retching noises as Mikey and I made out in front of him.
Mikey did his best to point out to Frank that this was ruining the moment by flipping him off, but Frank was blind to the signs and too lazy to move.
So Mikey and I split from our embrace and turned to Frank. “Frank – Lou and I are fixing our marriage. What the fuck is your problem?” Mikey snapped.
Frank nodded at the door and I spun round. There was Gerard. “I just wanted to be sure that you were placing her over me, Mikey?”
I turned back to the counter and began cooking lunch, trying my hardest not to scream in irritation. What was it with this boy and terrible timing? I couldn’t hear Mikey’s response, so curious I turned round.
Mikey’s mouth was working like a goldfishes. I rolled my eyes; did Gerard really mean to make Mikey do that? I mean, shock him senseless. “Mikey’s not choosing anyone over another Gerard.” I started.
“What do you know?” he snapped, “You’re in Mikey’s favour.”
I frowned, “I’ve been out of favour for ten months! Can I have ten minutes love from my husband?” I asked.
He looked at me, witheringly, “It’s not my fault you wasted the first ten months of your marriage.”
“And it’s not mine, either. What do you expect me to do? Leach from you and Mikey?”
“No. You could get a proper job.”
I laughed, “You can’t talk about a proper job!”
“At least my job doesn’t impinge on my relationships!”
“You don’t have a relationship for it to impinge on!”
Frank mewed like a cat at that. Mikey’s jaw stopped moving, it just hung there. I blushed. Gerard eyes bulged and a vein thumped over his temple.
“I’d thank you, Gerard, if you left me and Mikey to squabble over our marriage. As far as I remember I married Mikey. Your name doesn’t appear on the certificate. So keep out.” I turn back round and continue cooking.
“Are you gonna let her talk to me like, Mikey?” Gerard complains, coming back to his senses.
Mikey blinks slowly and his jaw closes slowly. He shakes his head, “You started it Gee. You got no more than you deserve.”
“So you choose her?”
I spin round, furious, “HE’S NOT FUCKING CHOOSING ANYONE! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, GERARD?” I scream at him, I breathe deeply, “Mikey loves us both. It’s a different form of love for each of us. If you have a crush on your brother, please, kiss him and see what happens.” I tell him calmly.
Mikey pulls a disgusted face, “It’s not that, Lou. I think Gee’s just possessive of me.”
I shrug, “Just an idea.” I mumble.
Frank backs away slowly from the family argument, shocked at my short temper and the volume of my shout. I turn back to lunch and notice Frank backing to the French doors leading to the garden.
He clears his throat, “I’m, uhm, just going to check the flowers.” He mumbles and turns to run out of the doors.
I sigh and laugh at him, I turn to Gerard, “Are you staying to lunch?” I ask him civilly, trying to bury the hatchet and start again.
“What? And have you poison it? Get lost.” Gerard snaps.
Mikey did his best to point out to Frank that this was ruining the moment by flipping him off, but Frank was blind to the signs and too lazy to move.
So Mikey and I split from our embrace and turned to Frank. “Frank – Lou and I are fixing our marriage. What the fuck is your problem?” Mikey snapped.
Frank nodded at the door and I spun round. There was Gerard. “I just wanted to be sure that you were placing her over me, Mikey?”
I turned back to the counter and began cooking lunch, trying my hardest not to scream in irritation. What was it with this boy and terrible timing? I couldn’t hear Mikey’s response, so curious I turned round.
Mikey’s mouth was working like a goldfishes. I rolled my eyes; did Gerard really mean to make Mikey do that? I mean, shock him senseless. “Mikey’s not choosing anyone over another Gerard.” I started.
“What do you know?” he snapped, “You’re in Mikey’s favour.”
I frowned, “I’ve been out of favour for ten months! Can I have ten minutes love from my husband?” I asked.
He looked at me, witheringly, “It’s not my fault you wasted the first ten months of your marriage.”
“And it’s not mine, either. What do you expect me to do? Leach from you and Mikey?”
“No. You could get a proper job.”
I laughed, “You can’t talk about a proper job!”
“At least my job doesn’t impinge on my relationships!”
“You don’t have a relationship for it to impinge on!”
Frank mewed like a cat at that. Mikey’s jaw stopped moving, it just hung there. I blushed. Gerard eyes bulged and a vein thumped over his temple.
“I’d thank you, Gerard, if you left me and Mikey to squabble over our marriage. As far as I remember I married Mikey. Your name doesn’t appear on the certificate. So keep out.” I turn back round and continue cooking.
“Are you gonna let her talk to me like, Mikey?” Gerard complains, coming back to his senses.
Mikey blinks slowly and his jaw closes slowly. He shakes his head, “You started it Gee. You got no more than you deserve.”
“So you choose her?”
I spin round, furious, “HE’S NOT FUCKING CHOOSING ANYONE! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, GERARD?” I scream at him, I breathe deeply, “Mikey loves us both. It’s a different form of love for each of us. If you have a crush on your brother, please, kiss him and see what happens.” I tell him calmly.
Mikey pulls a disgusted face, “It’s not that, Lou. I think Gee’s just possessive of me.”
I shrug, “Just an idea.” I mumble.
Frank backs away slowly from the family argument, shocked at my short temper and the volume of my shout. I turn back to lunch and notice Frank backing to the French doors leading to the garden.
He clears his throat, “I’m, uhm, just going to check the flowers.” He mumbles and turns to run out of the doors.
I sigh and laugh at him, I turn to Gerard, “Are you staying to lunch?” I ask him civilly, trying to bury the hatchet and start again.
“What? And have you poison it? Get lost.” Gerard snaps.