Dude Looks Like a Lady

The next few months were bizarre… telling everyone that we were expecting at least one baby and that we were happy and that we loved each other very much. No – one quite believed us, and Gerard was still behaving like someone had shoved a pikestaff up his ass and was wriggling it about.

Frank and Jamia were great, coming round and keeping the peace between Mikey and me when needed and then backing out when not needed later. They understood about the trials and pain we went through when we fought, because Mikey and I helped them through their hard patches.

I would like to say that Mikey and I never fought for the months of my pregnancy. I would like to say that Mikey and I lived in a kind of rose haze were nothing but love and happiness pervaded as emotions. However it was very different. I had mood swings, terrible morning sickness and the most random cravings.

It took Mikey ages to learn that when I snapped most of the time I couldn’t really help it. And it took me ages to learn to control my temper and not snap at him. We fought regularly but we had progressed from our first fights. We could now make up and put them behind us.

This baby was being good for our relationship, tearing us apart and then sewing us back together. Mikey and I were learning to swallow our pride and worries to show the other our love. This baby helped us in ways you can’t write on paper. Whilst nearly everyone was being sweet and helpful when Mikey and I fought Gerard looked happy then and sad and miserable when we were making up.

I was unhappy that Mikey would be away from when I was eight months pregnant… and that from then you can’t fly. The first stop of their tour was France. I was buggered for touring with them but I didn’t want to stop them from doing what they loved. Mikey phoned me at least once every day and Jamia moved into our house so we could keep each other company.

Jamia helped with my label, and I employed her full time to help with the sewing and designs and selling the ideas to people. All the people who bought the clothes seemed happy with them and the creativity seemed to flow all the better during my pregnancy.

I was amazed that the baby came when expected – first pregnancies are usually early or late, but the baby came on the date expected so Jamia and I put into action the plans we’d made for the eventuality of the baby arriving. I was transported to hospital and then dumped in a closed off ward and told to keep breathing. Needless to say I was severely pissed off… I had the manager of the hospital down to see me and then I sent him packing with a few well chosen words and from then on I was seen to by the best of the mid – wifery team. They all knew I’d ripped the manager limb from limb and I’m guessing I wasn’t looking particularly placid.

As I was actually giving birth, and clinging to Jamia’s hand in the process, I had the biggest shock of my life. I had been whineing about the fact that Mikey wouldn’t be there for the birth of his baby. We’d decided that the check ups would just be to tell us how the baby was doing… we wanted to be surprised by the number and the sex. I knew that Mikey would be playing the night the baby was born, or I thought I knew so that when I looked up from pushing what felt like my whole insides out of the ten centimetre gap in my pelvis I was amazed to see that it was Mikey who was holding a cloth to my forehead and squeezing my hand.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered to me, “I’m so glad I’m not too late.” He kissed my forehead softly and smiled at me bashfully. “Jamia and I planned it. We thought you’d love the surprise.”

I smile up at him and kiss him quickly as I feel a high come after the pain… I’d gone for a completely natural birth after my mother had told me that the highs you get from a natural birth are more miraculous than the highs you get off drugs.

“I love you” I whispered into his ear as our little bouncing, baby girl was born into the world. I collapsed against him, from where he’d clambered illegally onto the bed behind me. We held our baby together and cooed over how gorgeous she was.

“You name her.” Mikey whispered into my ear, tears tripping down his face.

My eyes widen and I think a little bit before suggesting, “Lizzie.” I pause, “I can’t think of a second name…”

“Rose?” Came Frank’s voice from the door. I looked up and squealed in surprise.

“Frankie!” He laughs and comes forward smiling.

“I have presents for the baby as well as a name. I think Lizzie’s a beautiful name.” He tells me before asking with his eyes if he can hold her. I nod and pass her across gently. I nudge Mikey with my elbow to remind him of something that we’d discussed time and time again. Godparents.

Mikey cleared his voice, “Uhm, Frankie… wouldyoubehergodfather?” He asked all rushed and embarrassed.