Dude Looks Like a Lady
Chapter 32: My Mikey.
*Gerard’s POV*
Only Frank and Mikey went back to Jersey to see the new born baby. Frank because he was craving Jersey and Jamia, Mikey because it was his baby. If you believe Lou. I don’t know why I’m being such an ass to them… Mikey and I were really close, and I was never this bad over previous girlfriends. Maybe that’s the problem – I knew they weren’t a pain… they weren’t real. Lou’s obviously here to stay, and with one baby the bond between them is a strong as the one that Mikey and I used to have.
I’ve always been jealous of competing for Mikey’s affection – even with our parents. Mikey and I were close because that way I knew he loved me, as a brother. That’s all I wanted. To know that someone valued me. To know that someone won’t forget me. Mikey was that person, until Lou came along. Sure, he’s never forgotten me, and I know he still values me but it’s my head telling my heart that, not my heart telling my head.
I’m sure Lou’s a nice girl and all, but I want Mikey to be my Mikey. I’m a possessive person. I got along with Alicia when they were dating, maybe it’s because I could sense that love wasn’t really there. I don’t know. I know I’m being an ass, but I’m too proud to say sorry about it and I don’t know if I can fix it. I know Mikey thinks this will just blow over, but I don’t know what Lou thinks.
I don’t know what I’m going to make of this baby – I was horrible all during the pregnancy. I don’t know if I was trying to make her miscarry or what. Every time I try to show her in a bad light, she comes out tops. Maybe Mikey’s already seen her worst – the first ten months of their marriage was hell for him. She treated him so badly.
Maybe that’s the problem? They hit it off on the wrong foot, and I haven’t forgiven her for that.
What if it was Mikey’s fault? It wouldn’t be. Mikey knows how to treat a woman.
But Mikey admits he treated her badly… she brainwashed him.
She admits she treated him badly. That means that treated each other badly.
I’m so confused. I don’t like being an ass… I’m not normally an ass, and this new side of me is coming out in the shows and the conferences… I need to sort this shit out.
I reached slowly for my phone, pressing the numbers of the local hospital in Jersey. I sighed, I was finally swallowing my pride… but I was doing blindly – and for the wrong reasons. I didn’t want to sort myself out for ease of family connections, I was doing it because it was making the band suffer.
“Hello, is this Jersey Central Hospital? Can I talk to Mrs Lou Way? I believe she just had a baby…”
Could I really face Lou and pretend I wanted to sort this out for the family when I was only doing it to save the band?
No. She’d see right through it. Is that why I don’t like her? She can see through my bluffs? I put the phone down, without giving a name or a number. I couldn’t do it.
Only Frank and Mikey went back to Jersey to see the new born baby. Frank because he was craving Jersey and Jamia, Mikey because it was his baby. If you believe Lou. I don’t know why I’m being such an ass to them… Mikey and I were really close, and I was never this bad over previous girlfriends. Maybe that’s the problem – I knew they weren’t a pain… they weren’t real. Lou’s obviously here to stay, and with one baby the bond between them is a strong as the one that Mikey and I used to have.
I’ve always been jealous of competing for Mikey’s affection – even with our parents. Mikey and I were close because that way I knew he loved me, as a brother. That’s all I wanted. To know that someone valued me. To know that someone won’t forget me. Mikey was that person, until Lou came along. Sure, he’s never forgotten me, and I know he still values me but it’s my head telling my heart that, not my heart telling my head.
I’m sure Lou’s a nice girl and all, but I want Mikey to be my Mikey. I’m a possessive person. I got along with Alicia when they were dating, maybe it’s because I could sense that love wasn’t really there. I don’t know. I know I’m being an ass, but I’m too proud to say sorry about it and I don’t know if I can fix it. I know Mikey thinks this will just blow over, but I don’t know what Lou thinks.
I don’t know what I’m going to make of this baby – I was horrible all during the pregnancy. I don’t know if I was trying to make her miscarry or what. Every time I try to show her in a bad light, she comes out tops. Maybe Mikey’s already seen her worst – the first ten months of their marriage was hell for him. She treated him so badly.
Maybe that’s the problem? They hit it off on the wrong foot, and I haven’t forgiven her for that.
What if it was Mikey’s fault? It wouldn’t be. Mikey knows how to treat a woman.
But Mikey admits he treated her badly… she brainwashed him.
She admits she treated him badly. That means that treated each other badly.
I’m so confused. I don’t like being an ass… I’m not normally an ass, and this new side of me is coming out in the shows and the conferences… I need to sort this shit out.
I reached slowly for my phone, pressing the numbers of the local hospital in Jersey. I sighed, I was finally swallowing my pride… but I was doing blindly – and for the wrong reasons. I didn’t want to sort myself out for ease of family connections, I was doing it because it was making the band suffer.
“Hello, is this Jersey Central Hospital? Can I talk to Mrs Lou Way? I believe she just had a baby…”
Could I really face Lou and pretend I wanted to sort this out for the family when I was only doing it to save the band?
No. She’d see right through it. Is that why I don’t like her? She can see through my bluffs? I put the phone down, without giving a name or a number. I couldn’t do it.