Dude Looks Like a Lady
Chapter 5: Saving Face
The phone rings and rings, I can see what’s happening on the screen which makes me giggle.
“Do you mind if I…” Mikey asks quietly, looking desperate. Steven shakes his head and makes up the coffee. “Thanks.” Mikey dashes out into the living room and picks
up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey.” I mumble into the phone.
“Oh. Um. Hi.” Mikey mumbled back.
I giggle, “Wow, this is awkward.”
Mikey laughs, “What an ice breaker you are.”
“Me!! I’m saving your ass.”
“How?”
“I’m watching you on FUSE.”
“Oh shit.”
I giggle, “Infact me, Bert and Jeph are.”
“Double shit.”
“You know the camera’s can pick this up, don’t you?”
“Triple shit.”
“Anyway… how are you?”
“Missing you.”
“Thank God you have a brain!”
“Nice to hear you’re missing me too.” He mumbles sarcastically.
I bite my tongue, “I am missing you.”
“That’s nice to know. How’s the tour so far?”
I shrug, “Shit. You can’t see me. Uhm, s’ok. I guess.”
“Why’d you ring?”
“Because you looked like you weren’t expecting the door to be Steven.”
“It was that obvious?”
“I wasn’t sure who you were expecting, but it sure as shit wasn’t Steven.”
“So you’re being a mercy vehicle now?” He snaps.
I take a deep breath, “I’m just trying to help, Mikey.”
I hear a sigh down the phone, “You know how sulky you just sounded, right?” I growl
at him down the phone. “Ok. You sounded rabid?” He tries again.
I roll my eyes, “Do you know which state I’m in?” I ask, hoping he does know.
“Nope.”
“Damn. Neither do I.”
“Uhm… if Bert and Jeph are sitting next to you why don’t you ask them?”
I turn to them. They shake their heads. “They won’t.”
He nods. “You can’t see me can you?”
“Can you see a camera near you?”
“No.”
“Then I can’t.”
“Don’t be mean.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll take away your sweets.”
“Cupcake – I’m in a moving bus. You’re in a house.”
“I got a nickname!”
“What the fuck are you on?”
“The Earth?”
“Haha how funny.”
Bert’s voice appears in my ear, “You two squabble like little kids.”
I look at Bert, “You wanna talk to him?”
“Alright.” Bert nods, and I pass the phone over, “Heylo, Mikey boy.”
“What the fuck?”
“That’s a new way to say hello.”
Jeph and I start to giggle as Quinn’s head comes out of the shower and looks around for Dan. As Quinn moves to open the door and come out he falls over Dan who was sitting at the bottom of the door.
“That’s a little bit of a strange way to greet people.” I call across to them
“Fuck you.” Quinn mumbles.
“I don’t think Mikey would like that…” I get up and make some coffee, passing it to Quinn, “Take it back?”
He nods and downs the coffee.
Bert’s still on the phone to Mikey and eventually he nods and mumbles, “Uhuh. Sweet. Yep. Ok, mate, talk to ya later. You wanna talk to Lou? Nope. Ok then. Oh, we’re in New York. First and last shows are there. OK. We’ll send you tour dates. Yep. Right. Kay. Bye.” He put the phone down and threw it to me. He grinned and wriggled his fingers at me.
“What the fuck, Bert?” I ask him confused.
“I dunno.” He tells me grabbing a coffee.
“Do you mind if I…” Mikey asks quietly, looking desperate. Steven shakes his head and makes up the coffee. “Thanks.” Mikey dashes out into the living room and picks
up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey.” I mumble into the phone.
“Oh. Um. Hi.” Mikey mumbled back.
I giggle, “Wow, this is awkward.”
Mikey laughs, “What an ice breaker you are.”
“Me!! I’m saving your ass.”
“How?”
“I’m watching you on FUSE.”
“Oh shit.”
I giggle, “Infact me, Bert and Jeph are.”
“Double shit.”
“You know the camera’s can pick this up, don’t you?”
“Triple shit.”
“Anyway… how are you?”
“Missing you.”
“Thank God you have a brain!”
“Nice to hear you’re missing me too.” He mumbles sarcastically.
I bite my tongue, “I am missing you.”
“That’s nice to know. How’s the tour so far?”
I shrug, “Shit. You can’t see me. Uhm, s’ok. I guess.”
“Why’d you ring?”
“Because you looked like you weren’t expecting the door to be Steven.”
“It was that obvious?”
“I wasn’t sure who you were expecting, but it sure as shit wasn’t Steven.”
“So you’re being a mercy vehicle now?” He snaps.
I take a deep breath, “I’m just trying to help, Mikey.”
I hear a sigh down the phone, “You know how sulky you just sounded, right?” I growl
at him down the phone. “Ok. You sounded rabid?” He tries again.
I roll my eyes, “Do you know which state I’m in?” I ask, hoping he does know.
“Nope.”
“Damn. Neither do I.”
“Uhm… if Bert and Jeph are sitting next to you why don’t you ask them?”
I turn to them. They shake their heads. “They won’t.”
He nods. “You can’t see me can you?”
“Can you see a camera near you?”
“No.”
“Then I can’t.”
“Don’t be mean.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll take away your sweets.”
“Cupcake – I’m in a moving bus. You’re in a house.”
“I got a nickname!”
“What the fuck are you on?”
“The Earth?”
“Haha how funny.”
Bert’s voice appears in my ear, “You two squabble like little kids.”
I look at Bert, “You wanna talk to him?”
“Alright.” Bert nods, and I pass the phone over, “Heylo, Mikey boy.”
“What the fuck?”
“That’s a new way to say hello.”
Jeph and I start to giggle as Quinn’s head comes out of the shower and looks around for Dan. As Quinn moves to open the door and come out he falls over Dan who was sitting at the bottom of the door.
“That’s a little bit of a strange way to greet people.” I call across to them
“Fuck you.” Quinn mumbles.
“I don’t think Mikey would like that…” I get up and make some coffee, passing it to Quinn, “Take it back?”
He nods and downs the coffee.
Bert’s still on the phone to Mikey and eventually he nods and mumbles, “Uhuh. Sweet. Yep. Ok, mate, talk to ya later. You wanna talk to Lou? Nope. Ok then. Oh, we’re in New York. First and last shows are there. OK. We’ll send you tour dates. Yep. Right. Kay. Bye.” He put the phone down and threw it to me. He grinned and wriggled his fingers at me.
“What the fuck, Bert?” I ask him confused.
“I dunno.” He tells me grabbing a coffee.