Dude Looks Like a Lady

I blush at the recognition of biting my husband in public. And Mikey growls before taking off after the paparazzi. I just sigh and sit on the floor, hugging my knees and resting my head on them too.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Mrs Way, but I saw you and your husband cuddling. I thought your marriage wasn’t exactly happy?”

I turn towards the cloying voice and snarl, “Who the fuck are you?” I stand up and zip my beaten leather jacket up.

“I’m an interviewer for Hot as, the magazine.”

“I’ve never heard of it.” I tell her rudely. I turn to move away and she grabs my hand.

“Please. This would be exclusive news that you and Mikey are actually happy. Hot as is a new magazine.”

I wrench my hand from hers, “My husbands gone off to look for some shit who snapped us. You’re too late.”

“The ‘shit’ as you called him, works for Hot as.”

“How nice.” I commence on my way into the pub, when she grabs my hand again.

“Please. I’m begging you.”

“Look – I don’t mean to be rude and I know that I have been anything but nice to you, but I don’t want my private life splashed across the front of some unknown, possibly made up gossip filled magazine. To be read by people who have nothing better to do with their lives than read about mine.”

“I can write an article on how nasty you are, and how there’s no surprise in the fact that you and Mikey hate each other.”

I shrug, “It’s not true – so it doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh really?” She asks, trying to look arch.

I nod, “Cupcake, I’ve been touring with The Used for ten months. We’re very close. If they can stand me, and so can Frank Iero and you have a picture to prove that Mikey and I are happy together then your column will look stupid.” I turn away, again, “Oh and before I forget – if you want to lift your magazine from obscurity then slagging me off isn’t the way to do that. I’m simply not famous enough.” I continue walking into the pub and sit down next to Frank. My face flushed and my breathing ragged.

“Stupid, fucking, nosey, insupportable, fucking reporters.” I grumble. He looks at me, confused.

“What’s up?”

I sigh, “Mikey and I were sorting out our relationship when some shit snapped us… Mikey took off after him and I got landed with the reporter.” He pulls a face. “Yeah, for some magazine called Hot ass or something. You heard of it?” The four guys round the table shake their heads. “Hang on – what are y’all doing in New York?”

Frank shrugs. “Bert said you’d be here. And here you are. I think he’s playing Miss Match.”

I sigh and shake my head, “His ass is dead meat when I next see him.”

“Why?” Comes Mikey voice, I look up and see him looking a bit battered but not too bad and stand up. I wrap my arms round him and nuzzle into his neck.

“Hello.” I whisper into his neck, gently kissing it. “Find what you were hunting?”

“No, but I did find an upset reporter.” I hiss, he laughs and picks me up, “We’re gonna do an interview with her.”

“WHAT?!” I shriek, instantly struggling. “Put me the fuck down!” I kept flailing my limbs and trying to bite at him.

“Stop behaving badly, Lou.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Hi.” I stopped struggling and looked at the reporter.

“Hey.” I mumbled as Mikey put me down and shook hands.

“Nice to meet you.” Mikey mumbled, sitting down in the booth, and pulling me down with him. Giggling I snuggle into his side and kiss his cheek. He wraps his arm round me, and pulls me closer to him. I shake my head and sit in his lap. He wraps both arms round me as I snuggle into his neck and place my hands over his.

“So you two seem very happy together. Is this the sham or was the first ten months the scam?” The reporter asked.

I shake my head, “The marriage was arranged so Mikey and I didn’t know each other. It was unfortunate that Mikey had been seeing someone else, before the marriage and was very in love with her. Neither phases of our marriage is a scam. The first ten months were emotionally draining and unbelievably difficult on our friends. This new found happiness together is great.”

Mikey smiles and kisses my neck, “Our joint friend Bert was playing Miss Match tonight, or so Frankie says. Frank tried to sort our marriage out before, but I think that Lou and I needed to grow up a bit. We weren’t ready for marriage.” I smile and mouth ‘I love you’ to him, before kissing him gently.

“Was the tour with The Used planned before or after the wedding? Was it an escape route for you Lou?”

“The tour has been planned for me for about 6 months before the wedding was planned. My parents assumed that Reprise would just shrug away the tour, but they didn’t. They were nice about it – they sent us some flowers and a PR bloke turned up at the reception but they stood firm about the tour. It wasn’t so much an escape route as a learning curve.”

“Would you explain yourself?”

“About the learning curve? Sure. Before I was a very square personality; I was very guarded and bitchy. I wasn’t very tolerant or particularly easy to deal with. Now, I’m much more rounded. I’m not a very rounded person, but I’m more than I was. I’m more tolerant and easier to deal with.”

“Do you agree with this Mikey?”

“I can’t really say. I mean, Lou and I spent a night together away from everyone else before the tour and I’ve spent about half an hour with Lou today. You’d have to talk to The Used or possibly Frank.”

I suddenly look gob - smacked, “That sounds terrible. But, unfortunately it’s true.”

“Are you continuing your career of a sound tech, Lou?”

I shake my head, “No. After this tour I’m resigning. I want to spend more time with my husband and I have clothing orders from certain people. I can’t say who. Or more on that subject.”

“Are you looking forward to having Lou around more, Mikey?”

He nods, “Yeah. My bed shouldn’t be as cold or the house as quiet. I’m looking forwards to being a family and having children, hopefully.”

I look at Mikey, “Moving swiftly there, Mr Way!”

“You don’t want kids?”

“It’s the first I’ve heard about kids!!”

He shrugs, “But do you want kids?”

“At some point, sure. But I still stick forks in toasters and stuff.”

“Me too. This isn’t good.”

“Maybe we need a live – in nanny?” I question him, looking cute. He bursts out laughing and we end our ‘first’ marital row.

“Was that a first proper row?” The reporter asks.

I nod, “Well… it’s a second fight, but we never really ended the first one.”

“Till about half an hour ago.” Mikey finishes for me. I raise an eyebrow at him and he
nods. “I think you lost that one. We’re definitely married in more than just name.”

“Not yet.”

“We will be.”

I raise an eyebrow, “When?”

He puts his lips to my ear, and licks the shell of it, “Tonight.” His lips ghost down my neck, “Tonight.”

My head rolls back against him and my hands clench over his, “Stop it, Mikey, I like it.”

The reporter coughs, “You were recently seen with Alicia Simmons, your ex. Was that the end or the start of another relationship with her?”

My head snaps straight up and my eyes narrow, I lean across the table between us,

“How dare you insinuate that my husband is anything less than faithful? He could have been seeing Alicia to discuss guitar riffs or discuss the ending of their relationship, which was before the marriage. Or they could have been seen together as a purely platonic arrangement.”

“Would you agree with any of those, Mikey? You seemed rather shifty when a picture of you was snapped.” She shoves a picture under my nose. I glance at it. My heart feels like it’s been fed into a shredder, Mikey was holding Alicia close, looking down into her face whilst she looked adoringly up, pouting to kiss him. It was taken in front of our house. And they had sex hair. I fix a smile onto my face. Dieing inside, but never showing on the outside.

“I’m often seen with Bert or Jeph holding hands. Even Frankie.” I shrug.

Mikey nods, “It’s purely platonic. We are just good friends. I am faithful to my one and only love.”

“Thank you for your time, would you like to say anything else? Maybe to each other.” She suggests.

I look at Mikey and gaze into his chocolate brown eyes, I smile and kiss him, “I’m glad we sorted everything out, Mikey. We’re stronger now than ever before. I’m here to stay and I love you.” I tell him, clearly, never breaking eye contact. I was not letting him go. He was mine. I kiss him once more, before gently trailing my lips to his neck.

“I love you too, Lou.” He mumbles quietly, before lifting my head softly with his fingers and he kisses my lips gently.

*Read "Romance On Warped Tour?" If you click on my username you go my profile (shock horror) and from there you can go to see it. And you want to do that. Please?*