I Am the Drug You Can't Deny
Prologue.
The amount of pills I'm taking, counteracts the booze I'm drinking
and this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in.
"Your nothing but a mindless self-indulgent being who doesn't care about anything but drugs."
It's dark. I can't see shit. I know were at the hotel at the end of Birch Brooke Lane. Hotel Bella Muerte. I know it. I can faintly see the an outline of the other druggies flung around the floor, trying to rest in blankets and pillows they collected from the closet in the far corner.
Im in a bed, someone was sleeping beside me. I rubbed my eyes and noticed him looking at me. His light brown eyes shining in the limited light coming from the streets outside. His grasps my hand, his is warm against my cold hands.
"You okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
I nod, he stays silent. I notice he can't see me. I sigh, "Yeah, of course im fine."
The light of his eyes disappears as he lays back down to go to sleep.
Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
".. everyone's eyes were dark and cold from the drugs, his eyes were brighter then the sun itself.. that golden honey brown...."
He didn't do drugs. He was just our friend since childhood, and whether we did drugs or not, he was there for us to watch us. So if we took a drug, nothing happened to us. None of us slept with the other, none of us did something the other regreted. Nothing.
Of course, he only told me that sometimes he would choose one of us and have sex with them. He said he only did it to one of us, but he never told me who. He nervously bit his fingernail, and said, "Tonight im gonna fuck him again." I wanted to know who, so I faked taking the drug ectasy. I switched it with a smartie I had in my pocket. I pretended to get woozy and then I started laughing.
Ryan sat there staring at me, I stared back with a smirk on my face. He returned it, and my eyes turned dark. Thats when it was his cue to crawl over everyone and sit next to me. But they were clouded with lust.
His hand touched my cheek, as his lips collided with mine. It was pure bliss.
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out (we're not working out)
We're not working out (we're not working out)
And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it
".. there's nothing more realistic then the desire in your eyes.."
He bit at my neck. I tightly closed my eyes. His hands were roaming everywhere. It was pure bliss. His eyes were extra brown. Shining in the dim moonlight. Pete and Bert were all over eachother, and Gerard joined in. It seemed like they were having an orgy, but I was having my own fun.
I was happy I didn't take ectasy, because I wouldn't be enjoying this as much as Ryan. But, since he thought I was drugged, he didn't have to worry.
As he thrusted in with all his might, I couldn't cry. For some reason, I felt numb. I simply put to terms that he did it more then he implied. A lot more.
We made-out. Tongues fighting for dominance. I let him win to keep going that im drugged and can't think straight. He thrusted in hard, blocking our moans with nothing but our lips.
Well I hope I'm not mistaken by the news I heard from waking
and it's hard to say I'm shaken, by the choices that I make
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
"..Your great at sex Frank. I wish you were sober..."
Both of us waking up in our boxers. He slid them on, when I faked being passed out after our amazing sex. He ran his hands through my hair, wishing I wasn't drugged the experience this with him. I was going to tell him tomorrow. Over breakfast. We usually had it together, because I could lead on an intelligent conversation with Ryan, while Bert, Gerard, and Pete returned home.
I woke up and waited for Ryan, getting dressed slowly and feeling the pain in my ass. I sighed and sat down, biting at my lip. He awoke only seconds later with a small smile.
"You had sex?" I asked casually.
He nodded, "Amazing. If only he wasn't drugged. He did seem less stoned then he usually is."
I shrugged, "I wonder why."
"Ready for breakfast?" He asked, slipping on a pink t-shirt. I nodded and we walked down into the lobby. Nothing from last night was left behind in the hotel room.
Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
".. his eyes stung with tears when he knew I wasn't stoned.."
"Ryan, I have something to tell you."
"Shoot," he said, sipping at his coffee.
"I wasn't stoned last night. And I.. I know what you did."
His eyes widened and he stared at me. Hoping I was just kidding. I looked up at him, and those gorgeous brown eyes were cold and clouded with anger. Ryan stood up, trying to escape. I stood up infront of him. He tried to push me away, I did nothing but pull him into the guys bathroom.
I locked the door behind after checking that no one else was in here. He collapsed into the ground, crying. "Im such a whore. Im sorry. I do this to you every night Frank. I- I love you."
I dropped to my knees infront of him, lifting his head up. Tears were streaming down his face. I simply wiped them away.
"I love you too."
We shared our first, loving kiss.
Your the drug I can't deny.
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out,
We're not working out
And you can't keep my brother, and you won't fuck my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it.
".. he stopped doing drugs, because Ryan was the only drug he needed.."
and this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in.
"Your nothing but a mindless self-indulgent being who doesn't care about anything but drugs."
It's dark. I can't see shit. I know were at the hotel at the end of Birch Brooke Lane. Hotel Bella Muerte. I know it. I can faintly see the an outline of the other druggies flung around the floor, trying to rest in blankets and pillows they collected from the closet in the far corner.
Im in a bed, someone was sleeping beside me. I rubbed my eyes and noticed him looking at me. His light brown eyes shining in the limited light coming from the streets outside. His grasps my hand, his is warm against my cold hands.
"You okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
I nod, he stays silent. I notice he can't see me. I sigh, "Yeah, of course im fine."
The light of his eyes disappears as he lays back down to go to sleep.
Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
".. everyone's eyes were dark and cold from the drugs, his eyes were brighter then the sun itself.. that golden honey brown...."
He didn't do drugs. He was just our friend since childhood, and whether we did drugs or not, he was there for us to watch us. So if we took a drug, nothing happened to us. None of us slept with the other, none of us did something the other regreted. Nothing.
Of course, he only told me that sometimes he would choose one of us and have sex with them. He said he only did it to one of us, but he never told me who. He nervously bit his fingernail, and said, "Tonight im gonna fuck him again." I wanted to know who, so I faked taking the drug ectasy. I switched it with a smartie I had in my pocket. I pretended to get woozy and then I started laughing.
Ryan sat there staring at me, I stared back with a smirk on my face. He returned it, and my eyes turned dark. Thats when it was his cue to crawl over everyone and sit next to me. But they were clouded with lust.
His hand touched my cheek, as his lips collided with mine. It was pure bliss.
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out (we're not working out)
We're not working out (we're not working out)
And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it
".. there's nothing more realistic then the desire in your eyes.."
He bit at my neck. I tightly closed my eyes. His hands were roaming everywhere. It was pure bliss. His eyes were extra brown. Shining in the dim moonlight. Pete and Bert were all over eachother, and Gerard joined in. It seemed like they were having an orgy, but I was having my own fun.
I was happy I didn't take ectasy, because I wouldn't be enjoying this as much as Ryan. But, since he thought I was drugged, he didn't have to worry.
As he thrusted in with all his might, I couldn't cry. For some reason, I felt numb. I simply put to terms that he did it more then he implied. A lot more.
We made-out. Tongues fighting for dominance. I let him win to keep going that im drugged and can't think straight. He thrusted in hard, blocking our moans with nothing but our lips.
Well I hope I'm not mistaken by the news I heard from waking
and it's hard to say I'm shaken, by the choices that I make
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
"..Your great at sex Frank. I wish you were sober..."
Both of us waking up in our boxers. He slid them on, when I faked being passed out after our amazing sex. He ran his hands through my hair, wishing I wasn't drugged the experience this with him. I was going to tell him tomorrow. Over breakfast. We usually had it together, because I could lead on an intelligent conversation with Ryan, while Bert, Gerard, and Pete returned home.
I woke up and waited for Ryan, getting dressed slowly and feeling the pain in my ass. I sighed and sat down, biting at my lip. He awoke only seconds later with a small smile.
"You had sex?" I asked casually.
He nodded, "Amazing. If only he wasn't drugged. He did seem less stoned then he usually is."
I shrugged, "I wonder why."
"Ready for breakfast?" He asked, slipping on a pink t-shirt. I nodded and we walked down into the lobby. Nothing from last night was left behind in the hotel room.
Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
".. his eyes stung with tears when he knew I wasn't stoned.."
"Ryan, I have something to tell you."
"Shoot," he said, sipping at his coffee.
"I wasn't stoned last night. And I.. I know what you did."
His eyes widened and he stared at me. Hoping I was just kidding. I looked up at him, and those gorgeous brown eyes were cold and clouded with anger. Ryan stood up, trying to escape. I stood up infront of him. He tried to push me away, I did nothing but pull him into the guys bathroom.
I locked the door behind after checking that no one else was in here. He collapsed into the ground, crying. "Im such a whore. Im sorry. I do this to you every night Frank. I- I love you."
I dropped to my knees infront of him, lifting his head up. Tears were streaming down his face. I simply wiped them away.
"I love you too."
We shared our first, loving kiss.
Your the drug I can't deny.
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out,
We're not working out
And you can't keep my brother, and you won't fuck my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it.
".. he stopped doing drugs, because Ryan was the only drug he needed.."