I'm Not Okay

I think I'd been waiting for that kiss too. Actually, that's kinda icky, I just kissed my best friend...
Sam was watching me carefully.
"What's up? Besides the sky, and clouds..."
"Eeeew!! I just kissed my best friend!! Icky icky ickeeeee!"
"I didn't think it was icky...I quite enjoyed that actually...."
I wasn't really listening...
"Icky icky icky ickee ick ick ickee!!"
"Yeah, basically, I was busy saying 'icky'...
"Scarlett! Shut up with the 'icky'!"
"Noooooo, it is ickeeeeeeeeeeee!!"
He grabbed me by the shoulders.
"Why is it icky?!"
"Because it is icky! You're my best friend!!! Icky!!!"
He rolled his eyes.
"No. Not icky."
"Yes! ICKY!"

***
That was a really long argument. He won though, by kissing me again mid-icky...stupid annoying, gorgeous, Gee lookalike.
Now, I was being cyber-attacked for information on IM.

Helena'sNOTdead! says: Tell me! Now! (Also, if you don't want Zac, I do!! Give me the damn boy!)

Uuuurgh........maybe I could prettend my IM crashed....
I hit sign out and turned off my phone.
I need to play guitar...
Hah, I am the best, I learnt how to play 'You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison' on guitar...

In the middle of a gun fight...
In the center of a restaurant...
They say, "Come with your arms raised high!"
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
To wage this war against your faith in me,
Your life...will never be the same.
On your mother's eyes, say a prayer...say a prayer!

[Chorus]
Now, but I can't
And I don't know
How we're just two men as God had made us,
Well, I can't...well, I can!
Too much, too late, or just not enough of this
Pain in my heart for your dying wish,
I'll kiss your lips again.

They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost,
My cellmate's a killer, they make me do push-ups (in drag)
But nobody cares if you're losing yourself...am I losing myself?!
Well, I miss my mom,
Will they give me the chair,
Or lethal injection, or swing from a rope if you dare;
Ah, nobody knows...all the trouble I've seen!

[Chorus]

To your room...
What they ask of you
Will make you want to say, "So long..."
Well, I don't remember,
Why remember...YOU?!

Do you have the keys to the hotel?!
'Cause I'm gonna string this motherfucker on fire! (FIRE!!)

Life is but a dream for the dead,
And well I, I won't go down by myself,
But I'll go down with my friends.
Now now now now... (I can't explain)
Now now now... (I can't complain)
Now now, yeah!

Aaaah, calm...
I wonder who's in this band 'Haven't A Clue'
Sam said that tryouts were in the school hall tomorrow...

***

Well, we were in the school hall, and there was barely anyone here. Apart from myself and Sam, there was only around 3 or 4 other people. Obviously no-one wanted to try out...
The first person got on stage. I recognised him vaugely...what was his name? Jack? John? James! Yeah, that's it, James.
I couldn't see the faces of 'Haven't A Clue', only their backs. Oh my Gee, James was awful! It sounded like he was killing the poor guitar, as he attempted (attempted being the operative word) to play 'School's Out' by Alice Cooper. Needless to say, he was rejected.
The next person, Cat, was only slightly better than James, and stomped off in a huff when they told her she wasn't good enough.
The only people who were even slightly good were Fiona and Tom, who weren't rejected.
The it was our turn. I waited for Sam's nod, then started playing. We'd decided on 'Dead!' because we both knew the song inside out and back to front. It was finished really quickly, and when I glanced up, I finally got to see who the members of 'Haven't A Clue' were.
Jeff, Rob and...Zac.
I bit my lip.
Oh shit...
Zac stood up, addressing the four of us who didn't attempt to kill a guitar.
"Okay, well done to all of you. We'll let you know later who we're choosing. And even the people who...ahem...didn't do very well learnt something today; if you can't play guitar, don't attempt to!"
I smiled. Who couldn't like Zac?

***

I was attempting my Maths homework. I hate Maths! I mean, when are you ever going to need ? Like, come on!
My phone vibrated, signalling that I had a message.
No! I must finish this Quadratic Equation first! Gee I sound like a nerd. No, I sound like teenage nerd, a terd...
I trailed off into a long string of mostly nonsense.
BANG
My phone had vibrated it's way off the table, and was now moving along the floor like a really retarded insect.
As I went to retrieve it, a load of tinny and extremly crap rap music came from the next room.
Uurrrghhhh.
My stupid, annoying, pain in the ass, chav younger sister had obviously figured out how to turn back on the power in her room, after I had turned it off by 'accident'.
I left my phone where it was and went next door.
"Claire! Turn that crap off now!"
She didn't even look up from the phone.
"....and I was all like 'Oh no you didn't' and he was like...."
I stopped listening, not really interested in drifting off to 'like' land.
I stomped down the stairs to where the fuse box was, and flicked the switch that my neat-freak mother had very carefully labelled 'Claire's Room', and went back into my room.
I picked up my phone from where it had vibrated it's way into the corner, and clicked the text.

Hey Scarlett, you really rocked earlier. Just wanna tell you that we want you and Sam to be our guitarists. ~Zac x
I did a victory dance around my room.
YES!