Jaded
Accident Detective
With lock-up, concrete, and steel.
Well it's cold and it's clammy
Man, it's colder than a pimp's heart
But I've gotta do my time
There's a lesson to be learned here
but what a price to pay.
You know, I may never learn-
I always told myself that if I got put in jail I would sing Mike Ness’s lyrics to Prison Bound. Although, I never actually expected me to get in jail. I couldn’t help, but mull over what was going on at this very moment. Inside those walls at Berkeley High school. If Sarah was in fact proving that the drugs were hers and I was clean-handed. I mean what happens from here? If I do get off the hook will I still have a criminal record? Will I be able to go back to school? There were so many questions bouncing around in my mind.
I took the drug test. There doing one of those thorough ones that they I assume test every ounce of urine or something. What if it comes out negative? I mean Mike and Billie smoke pot all the time what if it gets in my system and it shows up? I took an aspirin the other night what if that turns up? Now I'm just being paranoid.
My eyes pried around looking for something remotely interesting to stare at. The silence of the cell brought an obnoxious ringing to my ears. My mind felt as if it were spiraling and it made me queasy. Kind of like how you feel after spinning countless times on a tire swing. I can see why some people come out a bit more dingy then before they were in jail. Hell maybe I’m crazy. I thought, I mean for real not just as a ploy.
I went from sitting on the bedish thing they had in the cell to the concrete ground. I brought my knees to my chin staring aimlessly at wall, I couldn’t even make a thing out of the wall. Oh, and you know how in movies when they show all the tally marks from previous convicts? Yeah, that’s a load of bullshit, because I couldn’t even find that.
“Rollins,” I heard the guard say putting a key in the lock, which believe me was the best sight I have ever seen by far.
“You’ll be glad to know that you are free to go,”
Music to my ears.
I walked the line of other jail cells watching other inmates turn there heads wishing they were me right now. One winked at me and gave me a perverted look which was pretty damn creepy. I contemplated on give him the finger, but figured with my luck I’d run into the guy on a pissed off day, and might as well kiss myself goodbye.
We reached the front desk where I saw my mom talking to the police. I saw Sarah sitting a chair with her hands folded between her legs and her head drooping down.
“What happened?” I asked taking a seat next to her.
“Well, it turns out we have hidden cameras in the school,”
“Seriously?
“Mhmm. They got the whole thing on tape of me buying the drugs,”
“So how did you prove that you didn’t give them to me or something?” I asked still a bit puzzled.
“Well they tape our conversations in the locker room,” she said shrugging her shoulders “They got our conversation. Apparently, Chelsea and someone else were in the locker room with us and after we left she was talking about how she was going to get you for good or something lame like that. Then she went and tipped Mr. Lane off and yeah. Now I’m expelled and pretty much dead once my mom gets here,” she said running her fingers through her hair and dropping her head once again.
I kind of had a feeling when Chelsea came up to me with that cheesy hug thing it was fake. I kind of had a feeling I was going to have to brace myself for some type of retaliation from her and her minnion friends as well, but I didn't think it reach the level of becoming a legal matter.
“I’m sorry man...” I said.
“It’s not your fault. I’m glad though that you didn’t get in trouble. Although you are suspended for three weeks,”
Yeah well I don’t know if I’m completely off the hook.
Right as I was about to say that my mom beckoned me on over to where she was signing some forms and a check. She didn’t take one look at me.
“Is today the tenth?” asked the police officer with a confused look on his face. That date stuck with my mom and I more then the date of our own birthdays.
My mom’s eyes raised up slowely from what she was doing and she peered at the poor guy as if he just made some threat towards her. Her eyes not the size of ping pong balls, but the size of tennis balls. He kind of looked at her in a “I’m sorry if I offended you?” confused kind of look.
“Erm no it’s the ninth,” I mumbled.
I’ll be honest I forgot that tommorow is the four year anniversary of my dad’s “accident” as my mom refers to it as, but I’ll get to that later.
As we left I gave Sarah a good luck kind of expression and mom and I got in the car to return home. The car ride home was silent. I wanted to reach over and turn on the radio so bad, but I knew the second my arm would extend my mom would slap it down and we would resume bitch fest 89'.
“You know your going to pay me back that money,” she said still not even taking the slightest glance at me “And I am still standing by what I said the other day when I said if you don’t have a job by the end of the week you can find somewhere else to live,”
“Yes, mom,” I mumbled staring out the window.
“Your such a disappointment to me,” she snarled.
“Yes, mom,”
“Do you have anything to say for yourself!” she yelled slamming on the breaks in utter frustration.
“Nope,”
No other words were said the rest of the night, although I think we both had a few to express to each other. We both just got home and went to bed. In case your wondering I spent a glorious ten and a half hours behind bars.
***
“Get up!” she yelled peering through my door.
“Why?” I mumbled turning the other way.
“I said get your ass up!” she yelled slamming my door into the broken guitar amp behind it “Get dressed we’re going out,”
“Where are we going?”
“Just do what I tell you,” she snarled slamming the door.
I did as I was told and got dressed. When I walked out into the living room she grabbed her purse and went out the door getting in her car giving no indication of me to follow her, although I did after a moments hesitation.
The car ride to god knows where we’re going was similar to last nights except we didn’t indulge in the slightest conversation. I stared confusidly out the window trying to figure out where we were going once mom got on the free way. We were on the bay bridge when I narrowed it down to that we were going to San Francisco.
Now what the fuck are we going to do in San Francisco? Ride on cabal cars all day and talk about everything? I think not.
Finally we pulled into what looked like a doctors office. I read the door to the office we were going into which read
“Doris Holand PHD Psychiatrist”
“A fucking psychiatrist!?”
She just looked at me as if I was some sort of psychopath.
Seriously, what the fuck does she think it’s going to do? I don’t open up to anyone (maybe with the exception of Mike and Billie, but even them there are things stored upside of me they aren't aware of) so what the hell makes her think I’m going to talk to someone I don’t even know?
Remember that song I started a few nights ago when I couldn’t sleep? I figured out an ending to it in the waiting room.
Tossing and turning I cant go to bed
Reminders of you start to dance in my head
Spinning around my thoughts cant touch the ground
Because of this misunderstanding youve found
Oh how you lie
More then a thousand times
Cares are running wild in the storm
Lost in your whored
You've become bored with yourself
So you'll beat what evers left on the shelf
Trying to embrace what you dont have in yourself
Oh how I hate you
hates a strong word but I really do"
Well it's cold and it's clammy
Man, it's colder than a pimp's heart
But I've gotta do my time
There's a lesson to be learned here
but what a price to pay.
You know, I may never learn-
I always told myself that if I got put in jail I would sing Mike Ness’s lyrics to Prison Bound. Although, I never actually expected me to get in jail. I couldn’t help, but mull over what was going on at this very moment. Inside those walls at Berkeley High school. If Sarah was in fact proving that the drugs were hers and I was clean-handed. I mean what happens from here? If I do get off the hook will I still have a criminal record? Will I be able to go back to school? There were so many questions bouncing around in my mind.
I took the drug test. There doing one of those thorough ones that they I assume test every ounce of urine or something. What if it comes out negative? I mean Mike and Billie smoke pot all the time what if it gets in my system and it shows up? I took an aspirin the other night what if that turns up? Now I'm just being paranoid.
My eyes pried around looking for something remotely interesting to stare at. The silence of the cell brought an obnoxious ringing to my ears. My mind felt as if it were spiraling and it made me queasy. Kind of like how you feel after spinning countless times on a tire swing. I can see why some people come out a bit more dingy then before they were in jail. Hell maybe I’m crazy. I thought, I mean for real not just as a ploy.
I went from sitting on the bedish thing they had in the cell to the concrete ground. I brought my knees to my chin staring aimlessly at wall, I couldn’t even make a thing out of the wall. Oh, and you know how in movies when they show all the tally marks from previous convicts? Yeah, that’s a load of bullshit, because I couldn’t even find that.
“Rollins,” I heard the guard say putting a key in the lock, which believe me was the best sight I have ever seen by far.
“You’ll be glad to know that you are free to go,”
Music to my ears.
I walked the line of other jail cells watching other inmates turn there heads wishing they were me right now. One winked at me and gave me a perverted look which was pretty damn creepy. I contemplated on give him the finger, but figured with my luck I’d run into the guy on a pissed off day, and might as well kiss myself goodbye.
We reached the front desk where I saw my mom talking to the police. I saw Sarah sitting a chair with her hands folded between her legs and her head drooping down.
“What happened?” I asked taking a seat next to her.
“Well, it turns out we have hidden cameras in the school,”
“Seriously?
“Mhmm. They got the whole thing on tape of me buying the drugs,”
“So how did you prove that you didn’t give them to me or something?” I asked still a bit puzzled.
“Well they tape our conversations in the locker room,” she said shrugging her shoulders “They got our conversation. Apparently, Chelsea and someone else were in the locker room with us and after we left she was talking about how she was going to get you for good or something lame like that. Then she went and tipped Mr. Lane off and yeah. Now I’m expelled and pretty much dead once my mom gets here,” she said running her fingers through her hair and dropping her head once again.
I kind of had a feeling when Chelsea came up to me with that cheesy hug thing it was fake. I kind of had a feeling I was going to have to brace myself for some type of retaliation from her and her minnion friends as well, but I didn't think it reach the level of becoming a legal matter.
“I’m sorry man...” I said.
“It’s not your fault. I’m glad though that you didn’t get in trouble. Although you are suspended for three weeks,”
Yeah well I don’t know if I’m completely off the hook.
Right as I was about to say that my mom beckoned me on over to where she was signing some forms and a check. She didn’t take one look at me.
“Is today the tenth?” asked the police officer with a confused look on his face. That date stuck with my mom and I more then the date of our own birthdays.
My mom’s eyes raised up slowely from what she was doing and she peered at the poor guy as if he just made some threat towards her. Her eyes not the size of ping pong balls, but the size of tennis balls. He kind of looked at her in a “I’m sorry if I offended you?” confused kind of look.
“Erm no it’s the ninth,” I mumbled.
I’ll be honest I forgot that tommorow is the four year anniversary of my dad’s “accident” as my mom refers to it as, but I’ll get to that later.
As we left I gave Sarah a good luck kind of expression and mom and I got in the car to return home. The car ride home was silent. I wanted to reach over and turn on the radio so bad, but I knew the second my arm would extend my mom would slap it down and we would resume bitch fest 89'.
“You know your going to pay me back that money,” she said still not even taking the slightest glance at me “And I am still standing by what I said the other day when I said if you don’t have a job by the end of the week you can find somewhere else to live,”
“Yes, mom,” I mumbled staring out the window.
“Your such a disappointment to me,” she snarled.
“Yes, mom,”
“Do you have anything to say for yourself!” she yelled slamming on the breaks in utter frustration.
“Nope,”
No other words were said the rest of the night, although I think we both had a few to express to each other. We both just got home and went to bed. In case your wondering I spent a glorious ten and a half hours behind bars.
***
“Get up!” she yelled peering through my door.
“Why?” I mumbled turning the other way.
“I said get your ass up!” she yelled slamming my door into the broken guitar amp behind it “Get dressed we’re going out,”
“Where are we going?”
“Just do what I tell you,” she snarled slamming the door.
I did as I was told and got dressed. When I walked out into the living room she grabbed her purse and went out the door getting in her car giving no indication of me to follow her, although I did after a moments hesitation.
The car ride to god knows where we’re going was similar to last nights except we didn’t indulge in the slightest conversation. I stared confusidly out the window trying to figure out where we were going once mom got on the free way. We were on the bay bridge when I narrowed it down to that we were going to San Francisco.
Now what the fuck are we going to do in San Francisco? Ride on cabal cars all day and talk about everything? I think not.
Finally we pulled into what looked like a doctors office. I read the door to the office we were going into which read
“Doris Holand PHD Psychiatrist”
“A fucking psychiatrist!?”
She just looked at me as if I was some sort of psychopath.
Seriously, what the fuck does she think it’s going to do? I don’t open up to anyone (maybe with the exception of Mike and Billie, but even them there are things stored upside of me they aren't aware of) so what the hell makes her think I’m going to talk to someone I don’t even know?
Remember that song I started a few nights ago when I couldn’t sleep? I figured out an ending to it in the waiting room.
Tossing and turning I cant go to bed
Reminders of you start to dance in my head
Spinning around my thoughts cant touch the ground
Because of this misunderstanding youve found
Oh how you lie
More then a thousand times
Cares are running wild in the storm
Lost in your whored
You've become bored with yourself
So you'll beat what evers left on the shelf
Trying to embrace what you dont have in yourself
Oh how I hate you
hates a strong word but I really do"