Jaded

A few days had passed. When returning to school I managed to have heads turn as I walked sometimes a whisper or two. The metal heads offered me an induction into their jam sessions, but I had to decline. I'm sure their "jam" session are quite lovely. Probably consisting of hard rock n' roll, outrageous hair styles, and light drug use, but I just couldn't picture me with those people. Last year before Sweet Children and The She He He's took off Mike, Billie, and I started cover bands for Motley Crue, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Kiss, and other such bands. I was altered from bass and drums, as Mike and Billie fought over lead guitar. It was pretty cool, but I drew the line when Billie wanted me to put face make-up on and play in the school talent show last year.

As far as school goes my schedule got altered a bit. They put me in a aerobics instead of just regular gym, which was more like a church sermon, or a huge orgy if you ask me.

"Reach your hands in the air and just let the spirit take over your body!" Mrs. Davis would yell with her arms wrapped around her body giving herself a bear hug as some type of pop music is playing the background "Do you feel it! Oh god it feels so good! I love you guys you guys are so amazing! Don't you just feel washed away?" I swear to god this actually happens everyday in her class. I'm not exaggerating one word of it.

Aerobics was just one of those classes that I feel like a moron in. Of course the guys like it when we're doing work that consists of our legs being spread open, but most of the time you watch fellow students peak through the window of the classroom smirking and making fun of your position. This girl Brandi and I usually flake out and hide out behind the mats after Davis takes attendance. She's to busy with the sermon/orgasm to notice our absence.

I still had Mr.Witt on my hands who was finding any way to get me in trouble. For instance I had a Misfits shirt on the other day and he made me turn it inside out. I guess the school had passed some anti-skull policy I was not aware of while I was out. After this happened he laughed, and let me tell you he has a laugh like a fire alarm. I really couldn't place the humors part of all this, but you never really can with Mr.Witt.

On my first day I got out of Turner's class for a Suicide Prevention assembly for the seniors. I guess they think, because in nine months were going to be out in the "real world" that we're all going to purchase nooses and razor blades or something along those lines with our graduation money. I would think it would make more sense to give this presentation to the freshman. They are the ones that are going to have to endure physical and mental torture the next three years. It's difficult to piece together what goes through school administrators minds.

During this assembly they made us take this quiz and passed out these poorly written pamphlets with the plotted depressed girl on the cover. Maybe for extra drama they add the slit marks on her wrist where she made an attempt at suicide. Then they have the amusing illustrated pictures where it has in big bold letters on top saying Thinking of Suicide? or sometimes just Suicide?. Maybe it's for a budget cut. I don't know making pamphlets for teenagers isn't really my thing.

As for Jimmy, he and I talked twice since the whole cheap feel thing. One time he was extremely cocky, and the other time he was as sweet as can be. Maybe I over reacted on the whole thing, but wallowing the thought of being Jimmy's girlfriend gives me a gut retching pain and I don't mean that in a good way. I look at them as killer ninja fighting butterflies on acid in the pit of my stomach.

Billie Joe and Mike were over at my place before we went to school, because my mom got frozen waffles in which Billie thoroughly made sure there was electricity. Although, I was hoping he would fall for it again, but the kitchen light above the table gave it away.

"I think we should take the day off," Mike announced as he placed another piece of waffle globed with syrup in his mouth.

"I don't know, I'm trying to stay out of trouble remember?" I said being fascinated as I watched the syrup move from square to square.

"Oh come on Sam you know you want too," said Billie Joe.

He was right I definitely wanted to too. This was like Billie Joe and Mike saying "Sam would you rather us lock you in a car and set it on fire or take you to Disney Land?", but I just didn't want any more mischief, or at least me being caught in the act of it. I still kind of had that "I don't know" kind of look.

"Come on we can have like a Ferris Bueller's Day off," said Mike thinking on the spot " And who's favorite movie is Ferris Bueller's Day off?" he said with a childish smirk on his face as he nudged me with his elbow. I smile spread across my face as well, then I pushed him and told him to stop being cheesy.

In the end, I went along with it. I mean I was going to miss reading Catcher in the fucking Rye for the millionth time and having to stop every few sentences to make sure we know whats going on. Don't get me wrong I digged Catcher in the Rye the first time I read it in seventh grade, but after reading it in every grade after that it gets a little redundant.

"Come on we get to skip out on the pep rally," Billie Joe added in.

Now, I'm not really sure what happens at a pep rally. I can't really imagine it being that spectacular. When we don't feel like upping or "pep" up for a day we take a mini vacation, which is well every pep rally. Typically, Billie Joe, Mike, and I just hide out in the janitors closet, or sneak into the band room.

I figured sometimes you just need a mental health day.

"Fuck!" Billie blurted out without warning. Mike and I gave him a puzzled look as to why the sudden outbreak "What are we going to do about school? I mean we've missed so many days," Billie Joe asked reading our expression and looking at Mike for an answer.

"Leave it to me," I said jumping out of my chair and to the phone. I dialed the number to school when the front desk secretary answered.

"Hi, this is Ollie Armstrong I'm calling to let you know that Michael Pritchard and Billie Joe Armstrong are sick and will not be in school today,"

"Just a moment please," she said as I heard her type in the background.

"Ms. Armstrong are you aware that Billie Joe has been absent nine times and Michael seven?" she questioned now growing a bit suspicious.

"Yes, I am aware of that. With a house filled with so many children you know how they pass germs. We've all got this stomach bug. In fact, I think I'm going to be sick right now," I said now disguising my voice in a way that sounded as if I was about to spew.

"Can you prove this?" she asked still not totally convinced.

"No, well it's a cordless you can come along," I said at a fast speed.

"No, no that's fine. I hope you feel better bye," she said rather quickly hanging up on the other line.

I really did feel like I was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off of course I'm not calling saying my girlfriends grandmother died, but I can still pretend in my head. Of course though my slickness doesn't even compare to the great Ferris Bueller's. Just to let you know this crossed my mind in a matter of seconds, not how long it is taking me to describe it.

"See," I said taking pride in my cheesy acting skills.

"What are you going to do?" asked Billie Joe.

"Forgery is her specialty," said Mike before I could answer.

The schedule for today was we were going to go for breakfast (yes, we do have hardy appetites), go to Telegraph, The Oakland Zoo, and fuck around in San Francisco. Ben that hippie kid I told you about was coming too, it should be amusing. Last time we took a day off like this and he tagged along we ended up crashing a Shriner's club party, and let me tell you the fifty and over crowd can really party. Your going to think I'm nuts, but I'd much rather prefer going to their parties then teenage party's.

With this we left as if we were going to school, except Mike took my car, and took off to pick up Ben.